architecture feng shui

[Drunk Monk]

Apparently there will be some kind of ceremony for the new feng shui certified door. When I left the office a few hours ago, my boss was frantically searching for a sign that said "Please use other door" on the net. She was convinced such a thing was unavailable. Nevermind that if you just google ["Please use other door" sign] you find plenty of them. Nevermind that we have a fully loaded graphics department with two fulltime graphic artists. We needed to find that sign. I was consulted about whether it should read "Please use other door" or "Please use the other door". What I should have said was "ask the fucking feng shui master, why doncha?"

As I was leaving the front office was being stripped and the flooring was to be replaced. The old front door will be sealed. The new front door, the one on the side that's set at a weird angle from the wall, will be activated. I'm told our dear friend, Iron Crotch Grandmaster Tu, will perform some sort of ritual to bless the new door.

I have to pick up my car Monday morning so I might miss the commotion. My 2nd mechanic gave up. He can't figure out what is wrong. I know what is wrong. I haven't taken a sledgehammer to the car yet. That's what's wrong. My boss said I should let Master Li - the guy who told me that I have a waterfall of qi spilling from my face - heal my car. Obviously more aspects of my life need sledgehammer therapy.