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After a month, BofA has returned the money they took out of my account to pay for some weird ass check somebody passed in Arizona. There were all sorts of red flags on the check but they passed it anyway. This came a few days after somebody electronically also took money out of the account. The electronic theft was returned immediately but it took this long for the check to be cleared.

I am glad that is over. Time to go buy more pallets.

We all know his name. We all know his scores. And he was the Uncle of Peter.

A great legacy

Full of the blood shedding and action.

Everyone knows at this point that Affleck plays an autistic accountant who also has serious hitman skills. He also has a code. You don't don't get to hurt people under his protection. He's called in to audit the books at a robotic factory because some intern has found a weird discrepancy and the boss man needs to verify there is a problem. Of course, he finds the problem. Trouble ensues.

Meanwhile J. Jonah Jameson over at the treasury department is trying to track down this elusive accountant and tasks one of his up and comers to find him. One of the things that screws up the movie, but not in a big way, is that if you have seen even the trailer for Accountant 2, you know one of the big secrets of the movie. But the film still worked.

The biggest problem the film has is that about two thirds of the way through the film the film grinds to a halt as we go into flashback mode to tell the backstory of J. Jonah and the accountant. It seemed like lazy storytelling.

There was some fun action sequences. There were plenty of louds. Affleck seems to be acting for a change. I'm curious how the film was received by the Autism community because there are some red flags about how to deal with Autism in the movie.

Yep. I saw it. I don't know about you, but I was a little depressed by world events and wanted to not think about things for a bit. Do I like Jack Black? Nope. Jason Mamoa has one note and I don't care for it. Have I ever played Minecraft? Not even a little. And yet here was a film that made almost a billion dollars at the box office. Some of the screenings were supposed to be near riots. Kind of wanted to see what it had going for it.

Jack Black plays Steve who stumbles into the Minecraft. (It also explained a meme. I didn't realize the line "Children long for the mines" was from this film) He lives there and achieves great things until he is trapped by an evil witch. Years later more people stumble into the world of Minecraft and have to go on a quest to save the world and find there way back out of the world of Minecraft. Logic is loose and fast with the story. If I knew more about the game I'm sure I would have been excited to some locations if I played the game. Mamoa plays a buffoon version of himself. Black spends quite a few scenes explaining how things work and are built. He also gets to sing a couple of songs.

In the end, I was diverted. It wasn't great. But wasn't horrible. There were some funny bits. Jennifer Coolidge was wasted.

This is an early Stephen Chow, a pre-mou le tau flick. It's crass. There are many butt jokes. Like a lot. So many butt jokes.

It starts with the King of Beggars attacking Chow's residence by tossing buckets of piss and shit in the front door, but Chow has a sheet of glass so it bounces back on them, then they think it's raining but it's Chow hosing them down with more piss that's drugged with a laxative, and when they later have to poop in a field, someone is tossing hell notes, which they use as toilet paper, but it's yet another ruse, because it's covered with a nasty itching powder. The beggar clan must relent, and Chow gives their king a silver ingot to stick up his bum. After he does that, Chow says it's not the cure, he just wanted to see him stick something up his bum. That's just the first bit. 

It gets worse when Chow's lackey gets sent to jail and has to keep stuff in his prison purse - dominos and a chicken drumstick for later. Another shotcaller gets humbled when he must store an entire mahjong set plus table. Turns out the lackey is a lost son of a magnate, identifible by a triangular birthmark on, you guessed it, his ass. 

There's a lot of puerile stuff here obvs. There's a ruse to trap a hottie (the ever gorgeous Chingmay Yau) into a kiss after Chow accidentally gropes her butt. Karen Mok plays Chow's wife and his straight woman. 

'97 was the turnover and the film culminates in a trial which implies the corruption of the UK legal system. So there's some political commentary that was surely relevant back then, but is dated now. 

Not D00M recommended despite the butt fetish of one of the D00MBros here (you know who you are). 

Seen here on YouTube: 

I knew this film as Mr. Canton and Lady Rose. But I didn't actually. There's some other Jackie Chan flick that I have always thought was this film, and it's not very good. I distinctly remember the only fight scene in the film, which involved some acrobatics in drapes. It wasn't enough for me. Now I have no idea which old Jackie flick that was. 

As it turns out, I don't think I've ever seen this film, which is wild to me because I know that it was one of Jackie's personal favorites. He wrote and directed it, one of the first times he did that. And it's freaking great. 

It's his ode to Frank Capra, loosely adapting Lady for a Day and Pocket Full of Miracles into this tale. It co-stars Anita Mui (who was improperly dubbed as the Asian Madonna), Wu Ma, Lo Lieh (as the villain of course), Ken Lo (as an opponent for Jackie of course), Richard Ng (as a buffoon Chief Inspector), Mars (as a henchman of course), Yuen Biao (in a wasted cameo), and Amy Yip (another cameo, not as wasted because she gets to bounce her voluptuousness). It was remade by Akki in Singh is Kinng ( http://www.brotherhoodofdoom.com/doomFor...p?tid=2103 ). 

It's stylish, mimicking some of the expansive crane shots of old Hollywood. There's goofy subplots, a ruse that must be maintained, gangsters pretending to be rich gentlepeople, again an homage to those old films. It's light, funny, and heartwarming, not at all to be taken seriously. 

The fights are amazing - Jackie in his prime. I slowed down the playback to unravel the complexity of Jackie's choreo. Fantastic stuff - acrobatic, witty, precise, and imaginative- the stuff that only Jackie can deliver. So good. Simply untouchable. 

D00M recommended.

I knew going in, this was not for me. But I felt the need to see.

And I was correct. I didn't care for the music. The story was pretty sappy. And the animation wasn't all that great.

But I didn't hate it. I think the filmmakers did very well what they were trying to do. There were some parts I found amusing. I really liked the big Demon Cat and the Six Eyed bird in his little hat. There were some good complications in there and the message wasn't horrible. There was even some sword work.

But not for me.

John Krazinski and Padme Amadalla race around the world, following clues in stolen paintings, to find the Fountain of Youth. They are chased by Interpol and the Guardians of the Fountain.

The probably could have called this Indiana John and the Temple of Dumb. I mean John's father in the film was named Harrison. I won't say it was too dumb, but it wasn't very engaging. John and sister Padme spend most of the movie bickering. Neither one is likable. You don't feel any sympathy for the characters because they are being dicks about everything they do. I also expected more from director Guy Ritchie. It feels like he's just going through the motions. The budget must be big because of sets and some of the locations, but Ritchie's usual flair for directing seems to be missing.

Bleh.

Ice Nine Kills sux. Whenever you need a hotty & a chainsaw as props.