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architecture feng shui - Drunk Monk - 10-21-2005
So our building has this askew glass door in our front lobby that no one uses because you have to go around the corner to use it. It's been built that way intentionally, surely at the cost of my holiday bonus, because some feng shui advisor (also to be deducted from my bonus) said it should be this way. My office door is actually in the back of the lot. Most people come here instead of the front lobby door, since there's no street numbers on the lobby, just over our door. But there is an askew door.
OK, maybe this should have gone to the My Job Sucks thread, but this forum was looking so empty and I couldn't think of what to start it with other than architecture feng shui... that fits the description, right?
Move - Greg_phpbb3_import1 - 11-17-2005
Or I could come over with the big tools and work on that Feng Shui. Just as soon as I rip out and replace the wall in the cats room. Which comes after fixing the hall in the hallway.
remember when you took me on the set? - Drunk Monk - 11-18-2005
I can't even remember what the movie was but there was this round door frame in which you hung a normal door. You were quite proud of it. Well picture that but in a flat normal wall of glass windows. That's my year-end bonus, right there, baby.
Huh? - Greg_phpbb3_import1 - 11-18-2005
When did I take you on a movie set? And weren't you bored to tears? I don't even have a vague memory of you on set. I was going to contest that with the exception of The Queen and Ken, none of you have been on my sets. You would think I would have taken a picture . . . . .
I think that was you... - Drunk Monk - 11-18-2005
It was some mock penthouse apartment and it was years ago. It was at some warehouse somewhere. I only have a faint memory of it myself. Can't even remember the movie at all, but it was one I had heard of at the time.
The feng shui continues... - Drunk Monk - 01-28-2006
We had this weird feng shui woman come by, an associate of a former advertiser. I think she and that advertiser had some hairbrained idea that they could design t-shirts and we would make them and sell them, and then give them all the money. I should note that they stopped advertising with us years ago, probably because their product sucked. Anyway she came by and had this classic psychic vampire vibe. She also had this little magnetic name tag that she felt the need to wear. Feng shui people can be weird.
Anyway that was a while ago. They've knocked out a new window in our lobby so the phone answerers can see out. That's actually nice. Then they're going to close up the perfectly good front door. Our front lobby has two glass walls - one being the front door which faces the parking lot, the other being the askew door which faces the street. The street is industrial, so no one walks to our office. No one comes from the street side. They all come from the parking lot.
I did get a decent bonus last year, so I shouldn't complain about the wasted remodeling money just because some feng shui fool said his compass told him so.
What the F . . .? - Greg_phpbb3_import1 - 01-29-2006
What is the classic psychic vampire vibe? As opposed to the nouvelle vague vampire vibe. Is it akin to the new age retro vampire vibe. Just curious.
psychic vampires - Drunk Monk - 01-29-2006
Vampires are real. You've met them. You may have even slept with them. They suck your qi. The classic psychic vampire stares just a little to long into your eyes, as if looking to see their own reflection. They follow you around, always passive-agressive, always with their hand out looking for you to kick something down to them. They are usually average looking people, non-descript physically, often with slightly loud fashion quirks. They are very prevalent amongst the New Agers as well as with recovered addicts. You usually have to be outright rude to get through to them, then they act hurt and innocent. Beware psychic vampires.
Next Monday - Drunk Monk - 02-03-2006
Apparently there will be some kind of ceremony for the new feng shui certified door. When I left the office a few hours ago, my boss was frantically searching for a sign that said "Please use other door" on the net. She was convinced such a thing was unavailable. Nevermind that if you just google ["Please use other door" sign] you find plenty of them. Nevermind that we have a fully loaded graphics department with two fulltime graphic artists. We needed to find that sign. I was consulted about whether it should read "Please use other door" or "Please use the other door". What I should have said was "ask the fucking feng shui master, why doncha?"
As I was leaving the front office was being stripped and the flooring was to be replaced. The old front door will be sealed. The new front door, the one on the side that's set at a weird angle from the wall, will be activated. I'm told our dear friend, Iron Crotch Grandmaster Tu, will perform some sort of ritual to bless the new door.
I have to pick up my car Monday morning so I might miss the commotion. My 2nd mechanic gave up. He can't figure out what is wrong. I know what is wrong. I haven't taken a sledgehammer to the car yet. That's what's wrong. My boss said I should let Master Li - the guy who told me that I have a waterfall of qi spilling from my face - heal my car. Obviously more aspects of my life need sledgehammer therapy.
About that ceremony - Drunk Monk - 03-17-2006
Iron Crotch Opens the Door
http://ezine.kungfumagazine.com/ezine/article.php?article=654
Feng Shui, this motherhumper - Greg_phpbb3_import1 - 03-17-2006
When are you going to give in and rename the magazine "Master Tu's Monthly Crotch Pull"
i've been pondering a comic book... - Drunk Monk - 03-17-2006
imagine a comic book hero with an iron crotch. i guess that's what hanzo is all about, eh?
The better story - Greg_phpbb3_import1 - 03-21-2006
Master Tu's training catches on. Millions of Devotee learn to get hit in the nuts without reaction. The humor of the situation starts to wane. The humour is in the pain. The humour is in the victim's facial expression.
Suddenly these events that are the staple of Funniest Video Show are missing. Producers of these movies and television want Master Tu's training to stop. They want the funny crotch hits back. They want Master Tu gone.
hey, that's not bad... - Drunk Monk - 03-22-2006
i should throw it to our senior graphic artist. he'd have a field day with that idea...
See past the facade - The Queen - 03-22-2006
He only gets paid to make people build things. He's really a writer.