08-18-2020, 11:49 PM
(This post was last modified: 03-11-2021, 08:46 PM by Drunk Monk.)
Mortal Kombat (1995)
Today is the 25th anniversary of MK so I figured I'd revisit it (also related to a piece that I'm chipping on for Den). It's still as cheesy as ever and yet it retains some of its original charm.
I remember it being so derivative of Enter the Dragon in the beginning. Robin is a former monk there to avenge his sibling murdered by someone in the tournament like Bruce. Linden is the white dude with a ton of luggage always gawking at the chicks like Roper. Cary is the villainous host with ulterior motives like Mr. Han. There's even a banquet scene.
Then it jumps to this multiple dimension story with '95 CGI for four-armed fighters, demon ninjas and generally absurd effects however the other world ossarium chamber is a pretty cool set as they go.
The fight choreo is bad - this was a transitional film where martial arts fights are still hampered by John Wayne cowboy haymaker tempo. Only a few of the cast were actually trained prior to this project and it shows.
The original cast was extraordinary - Cameron Diaz, Brandon Lee, Dustin Nguyen - even Tom Cruise and Johnny Depp were connected with the project, but they all fell off for one reason or another.
It still has its moments however. Lambert is kinda funny with his side comments. The concepts were great, only now they're dated. That soundtrack... oh that soundtrack. For a decade plus, there was always some clown that would use it as their demo music - that and Eye of the Tiger. I couldn't escape those tunes. It would be my cue to take a kip off my hip flask.
I got mistaken for Liu Kang at an elementary school demo. A little tyke sheepishly came up to me after and asked if I was Liu. I said ‘no’ then as he walked away I poached the yeti’s line after getting mistaken for Yankovic ‘I told you they'd recognize me here.’ Robin did steal my hairstyle back then - that luxurious lion’s mane I used to have until time decided I needed more forehead.
I met Robin once. He came by the office with an entourage, a few coat tailers. He was kind of a prick. Or maybe it was me, maybe I was just in a foul mood. Maybe I had a deadline and he was wasting my time. I don’t remember what he wanted. He gave me this cheesy fantasy knife which bugged me because blades are inappropriate gifts. And I abhor cheesy fantasy knives. I handed it off to Patrick, but I probably charged him a penny for it. Or maybe I traded it for a joint. He was delighted at the acquisition. I wonder if he still has it.
There are sword fights. It's really more hand2hand but there's some swords swung about here and there. Not DOOM recommended unless you have a serious nostalgia jones. Like really serious.
FINISH HIM!
Today is the 25th anniversary of MK so I figured I'd revisit it (also related to a piece that I'm chipping on for Den). It's still as cheesy as ever and yet it retains some of its original charm.
I remember it being so derivative of Enter the Dragon in the beginning. Robin is a former monk there to avenge his sibling murdered by someone in the tournament like Bruce. Linden is the white dude with a ton of luggage always gawking at the chicks like Roper. Cary is the villainous host with ulterior motives like Mr. Han. There's even a banquet scene.
Then it jumps to this multiple dimension story with '95 CGI for four-armed fighters, demon ninjas and generally absurd effects however the other world ossarium chamber is a pretty cool set as they go.
The fight choreo is bad - this was a transitional film where martial arts fights are still hampered by John Wayne cowboy haymaker tempo. Only a few of the cast were actually trained prior to this project and it shows.
The original cast was extraordinary - Cameron Diaz, Brandon Lee, Dustin Nguyen - even Tom Cruise and Johnny Depp were connected with the project, but they all fell off for one reason or another.
It still has its moments however. Lambert is kinda funny with his side comments. The concepts were great, only now they're dated. That soundtrack... oh that soundtrack. For a decade plus, there was always some clown that would use it as their demo music - that and Eye of the Tiger. I couldn't escape those tunes. It would be my cue to take a kip off my hip flask.
I got mistaken for Liu Kang at an elementary school demo. A little tyke sheepishly came up to me after and asked if I was Liu. I said ‘no’ then as he walked away I poached the yeti’s line after getting mistaken for Yankovic ‘I told you they'd recognize me here.’ Robin did steal my hairstyle back then - that luxurious lion’s mane I used to have until time decided I needed more forehead.
I met Robin once. He came by the office with an entourage, a few coat tailers. He was kind of a prick. Or maybe it was me, maybe I was just in a foul mood. Maybe I had a deadline and he was wasting my time. I don’t remember what he wanted. He gave me this cheesy fantasy knife which bugged me because blades are inappropriate gifts. And I abhor cheesy fantasy knives. I handed it off to Patrick, but I probably charged him a penny for it. Or maybe I traded it for a joint. He was delighted at the acquisition. I wonder if he still has it.
There are sword fights. It's really more hand2hand but there's some swords swung about here and there. Not DOOM recommended unless you have a serious nostalgia jones. Like really serious.
FINISH HIM!
Shadow boxing the apocalypse
