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OK, Doomies (I know some of you prefer "Doomers", but just get over yourselves) identify this food:
It was from the "Crispy Eel" restaurant that G-Man, DM, and me know. A friend ordered blind via phone (but with a menu) and the restaurant-person didn't understand English. We got some stuff that was that was the off-white of paper, had an obviously pressed cloth texture, was the size and shape of chow-fun noodles, but with a rubbery texture and paper-thinness that was bizarre, almost "band-aid" like. It was cooked with some form of fresh baby bok-choy. Tasty and weird.
Any ideas?
In the Tudor Period, Fencing Masters were classified in the Vagrancy Laws along with Actors, Gypsys, Vagabonds, Sturdy Rogues, and the owners of performing bears.
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Poison for round eye is my guess.
So much for the flickr badge idea. Dammit
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There's this tofu-based noodle like thing - hell if I know what it's called - made by pressing tofu in a cheesecloth-like fabric to reduce the liquid. It comes out a lot like a wide noodle with a burlap-like textures. It's rather bland, but picks up the flavor of sauces.
Either that, or it was pressed bleached cat turds.
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That sounds like it (the tofu-noodle, not the cat-turd). I was pretty sure it was some plumbers pipe-sealing tape that was left near the cutting-board.
In the Tudor Period, Fencing Masters were classified in the Vagrancy Laws along with Actors, Gypsys, Vagabonds, Sturdy Rogues, and the owners of performing bears.
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If memory serves, and remember I've been pescatarian for a few years now (plus my memory is shot), there's a cow tripe that sort of fits that description. It's really chewy, bland, and has an almost cloth-like pattern when prepared in a certain fashion. I think it's actually intestine, not stomach. Is that still tripe? It's not at all like the tripe in menudo. Don't cows have like four stomachs or something? Let's just say it's part of the digestive system that even the Mexicans throw out.
It could also be goat semen. There's a dish where goat semen is distilled and a skin forms over the bowl, then that is pressed into a noodle-like substance. Actually I doubt it was that since I'm sure you didn't pay the exorbitant sum required for that delicacy. Goat fluffers don't cum cheap, even in China.
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"Goat-Fluffer' is my new favorite insult.
In the Tudor Period, Fencing Masters were classified in the Vagrancy Laws along with Actors, Gypsys, Vagabonds, Sturdy Rogues, and the owners of performing bears.
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I got him a seat at our cool pre-championship banquet and he wouldn't even eat the hoof. That's a rare delicacy, you know. It takes an expert chef to make it palatable. What's more, he threw a fit when there were no potstickers. He yelled something about "This isn't real Chinese food. I'm going to Panda Express, goddammit!" It would have been embarrassing but he was one of the only round eyes there and such behavior is to be expected. Passing up the hoof was a major faux pas tho... I know PPFY would have gobbled that down and lapped up the hoof toe-jam gravy with a biscuit. He's a real carnivore, not some poseur Hollywood wannabe meat nibbler. 
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I take his new Facebook picture and this is the thanks I get?
And to clarify, there were a lot of hoof passers at the table.
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"Hoof-Passer" is not as good as "Goat-Fluffer".
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oh you'll get more than that, dear doombro greg. the check is in the mail. 
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my hovercraft is full of eels
Quote:Mark Pangallo - 13th September, 2011
Eel removed from man's bladder after entering penis during beauty spa
An erratic eel wriggled its way up a man's penis and into his bladder following an accident during an unorthodox beauty spa treatment in China.
The eel treatment in question is a similar concept to the popular London spas that offer fish pedicures.
Thinking that the eels would make him look ten years younger, Nan dived into the water and let them feast upon layers of dead skin.
But after laying in the spa bath, Nan felt a sharp pain and realised a small eel was working its way up his urethra and into his bladder.
'I climbed into the bath and I could feel the eels nibbling my body. But then suddenly I felt a severe pain and realised a small eel had gone into the end of my penis,' the 56-year-old from Honghu, Hubei province said.
'I tried to hold it and take it out, but the eel was too slippery to be held and it disappeared up my penis.'
(OK, that's enough cringing now... it's horrible, though, we know...)
Rushing himself to hospital, the man underwent a three-hour operation to remove the six-inch eel which was dead by the time doctors found it.
Surgeon Jin Wang said that, because of the eel's slippery nature, it was able to make a smooth entry into the genitals of Nan.
'The diameter of the urethra in a man's penis is just a little narrower, but because eels are quite slippery, its body worked as a lubricant and so it got into the penis smoothly,' he said.
(Really - stop cringing - we can see you...)
Believe it or not, Nan's case follows a similar incident when a 14-year-old boy in India had to undergo emergency surgery.
In a case study published by urologists Dr G Vezhaventhan and R Jeyaraman, they described how they removed a 2cm-long fish from the boy's bladder.
The teenager said that while holding the fish he had gone to the toilet and, while urinating, the fish had 'slipped from his hand and entered his urethra'.
Hmmm...
<!-- m --><a class="postlink" href="http://www.metro.co.uk/weird/875317-eel-removed-from-mans-bladder-after-entering-penis-during-beauty-spa">http://www.metro.co.uk/weird/875317-eel ... beauty-spa</a><!-- m -->
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It didn't sound comfortable.
I was out with Sal and the Shaolin boys in Temple City for lunch. Very authentic chinese food. When the meal was over, I of course complained that there weren't any fortune cookies. Lots of blank stares that day.
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...the Chinese word for eel is 鰻.
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No pangolin? No tiger liver? Unless something endangered died to make this stuff, forget it.
In the Tudor Period, Fencing Masters were classified in the Vagrancy Laws along with Actors, Gypsys, Vagabonds, Sturdy Rogues, and the owners of performing bears.
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