Posts: 3,426
Threads: 389
Joined: Oct 2005
Reputation:
0
I drive a 95 Corolla wagon. And for some reason it pisses a lot of guys off. They hate it if I pass them, and have to speed up so I can't, or subequently speed up and pass me. It's really weird.
I remember there was a short about cars that they showed in the theater when we went to see the Love Bug as kids. I remember very little about it except an animated sequence where a hamburger gets wheels and peels out, dropping a pickle. Sounds like Gene has a similar vehicle.
Posts: 33,874
Threads: 2,549
Joined: Oct 2005
Reputation:
3
I saw the Love Bug again recently. We wanted Tara to see it before the new one came out, and then we never did see the new one. I missed the animated sequence - must have got up for something - funny, I thought I saw it all the way through...
Anyway, I spent the afternoon visiting my folks. I told my dad that I saw Chuck Norris - http://brotherhoodofdoom.com/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=66 - and he totally understood. He brightened up at the mention of it, even before I said Walker. My dad has become a huge fan of that show. I think his comprehension is rather good now. His output is all messed up, but he understands most simple conversations it seems. I think he tends to shun conversation because he knows he can't respond well. Also my mom has the odd habit of talking about him when he's in earshot and talking to him with an overly clear tone, instead of just conversationally. It's got to be so hard for her - for anyone - to be a caretaker.
One of my mom's best friends is a caretaker for her husband that has gone blind. She was just hospitalized, possibly for cancer. My mom, along with some other friends, have been driving the husband to and fro from the hospital. Their daughter happened to have this week off and could help, but who knows what will happen when she has to go back to work next week...
Shadow boxing the apocalypse
Posts: 6,577
Threads: 169
Joined: Oct 2005
Reputation:
0
This is something that we all have to deal with now (some of us have a head start, others are getting ready to start) and that is: taking care of our deteriorating parents. I am very, very lucky in that my older brother lives with my mom. If he didn't, she would have to go to an assisted living place as her short-term memory and increasing aphasia are making daily living tough.
It is hard to see this whip-smart, very compassionate woman become, well...old, weak, and forgetful. No worries about my dad, though, since he took himself out of the picture quite some time ago.
What is up with the rest of you? Your situations and how you are handling things?
I'll put this up as a new thread.
In the Tudor Period, Fencing Masters were classified in the Vagrancy Laws along with Actors, Gypsys, Vagabonds, Sturdy Rogues, and the owners of performing bears.
Posts: 33,874
Threads: 2,549
Joined: Oct 2005
Reputation:
3
With the first sunny weekend last ?Sunday was a day to catch up on all the chorse at my parents' house - trimming trees, cleaning gutters, and smashing an old door to bits so it'd fit in the garbage can. My dad assisted me, but wasn't too helpful. I asked for several tools, but he never got that. He helped hold a ladder when I got on the roof for the gutters, and swept up after, but that was it. The door was funnier. My mom had left the door she had just replaced out for the garbage but they didn't take it, so it was my job to smash it. I didn't think much of it - it's an old door, until I turned it over and realized my dad had reinforced it with two layers of wood and tons of crossbeams. After training sword cuts for such a long time, I'm not bad with a crowbar and hatchet. but it didn't keep me from grumbling at my dad, who was watching me and seemed to be giggling at my dilemma.
Later, before we went out to dinner, Tara said she had to go to the bathroom and my dad responded in his longest phrase of the day "good idea. i better to go to." And he promptly did.
A friend recently told me of an aphasiac who can only speak in short clipped sentences and places the last word of the sentence first. Aphasia is really weird.
Shadow boxing the apocalypse
Posts: 33,874
Threads: 2,549
Joined: Oct 2005
Reputation:
3
My mom treated us to a rather belated b-day dinner tonight. We were going to go to Dish Dash, but it being one of the only nice restaurants in Sunnyvale, it was booked late, so we suggested Shebele (next to Faux - KB will know it). My folks had never had Ethopian and my mom was excited at the prospect. My dad had trouble understanding eating with enjera - he couldnt' get the dipping process and just wanted to eat it plain. My mom protested; she has this particular expression of aggravation when my dad makes a dinner mistake like eating soup with a fork or something. Maybe it's the dietician in her. Stacy thinks it's the virgo. Anyway, it pushed my dad's buttons too, and he retorted 'i can handle this' and things were looking quite awkward for a moment until I jumped in and prepared several bites of stuffed enjera. It worked out ok in the end, but left me again wondering about the dynamics of relationships of long-term disabled and caretakers.
Shadow boxing the apocalypse
Posts: 33,874
Threads: 2,549
Joined: Oct 2005
Reputation:
3
I was torn between two father's day cards. One had a picture of a car on the moon and inside the blurb read something about "Dad vs. directions, the battle continues" That one was a bit too black humorish. The one I choose said DAD quite clearly, written by a mower in a lawn. I'm hoping he can read DAD. It's challenging to get cards for the aphasiac. At least with birthdays, you can get one with a picture of a cake and hope the symbol gets through. For something like father's day, that's harder to symbolize.
We went to this dance/martial arts show that I had comp tickets to, $100 seats but I pity the poor chump who dropped more than $40 on a seat. Stacy's dad and stepmom joined us. It was an odd show, a great Shaolin demo with several old monk friends, but very unprofessionally showcased. For Ernie Reyes action team, someone had left two folding chairs right in front of stage and no one had the courage to take them away so they were there for the whole performance. Mostly, it was something to do. We went out to White Lotus for dinner, but it confused everyone because no one was familiar with Vietnamese vegetarian food. At the end, I gave my dad the card. He was very happy about that and waved it triumphantly while it was still in the envelope.
Shadow boxing the apocalypse
Posts: 33,874
Threads: 2,549
Joined: Oct 2005
Reputation:
3
Stacy said Tara recently told her she can't remember my dad before his stroke. That's so sad. I cling to those memories. My dad loves kids and was so delighted to play with Tara. He still is, but of course, the play is much different. My folks played hanafuda (a Japanese card game) just today - Tara won with my dad coming in second and my mom losing by a lot. Tara was 4 when my dad had the stroke.
Shadow boxing the apocalypse
Posts: 3,426
Threads: 389
Joined: Oct 2005
Reputation:
0
I think 4 is kind of the cutoff for memory. Well definitely for me. Maybe it has something to with language skills. Before that I've got a couple of images, but that's it. Apparently it's not just me.
the hands that guide me are invisible
Posts: 1,238
Threads: 141
Joined: Oct 2005
Reputation:
0
My first memory dates back to when I was 2. My father and maternal grandfather took me with them to the exhibit hall floor at a convention (for laundries and dry cleaners - my mom's parents ran a shop on the south side of Chicago in the 50s and 60s, and my dad's job at the time was fixing commercial laundry machinery) at the old McCormick Center in Chicago. I distinctly remember being picked up carried around, the smell of my grandfather (a mixture of Brillcream and Hamm's beer) and the brightly colored wooden yardsticks that were being given away as spifs. We took a half dozen of them home as toys and I played with them for years afterward. (They made great pretend swords, pretend logs for pretend fires, highways and bridges for Matchbox cars...) 
Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
Posts: 33,874
Threads: 2,549
Joined: Oct 2005
Reputation:
3
I got him another card with lots of pictures of cakes and stuff. They babysat for Tara, so Stacy and Tara delivered the card in person, but my day was such that I couldn't visit. I was going to call him since he never talks on the phone, but fell asleep, too exhasuted from RotR. Today I saw him and asked if he had a good b-day, which he replied 'yes'.
My father's favorite hat is a golf hat that says 'hole in one' - there's a certain irony about that hat on a stroke victim.
Shadow boxing the apocalypse
Posts: 33,874
Threads: 2,549
Joined: Oct 2005
Reputation:
3
My mom has become caretaker for several of her friends. It's weird. Of course, she's had her health issues too. She recently either got food poisoning or a stomach flu and wound up vomiting so hard that she lost her bridge. She's better now, but of course, that's so worrisome.
She had asked me to cut down a tree last Sunday, but I really hate cutting down trees. I like planting trees. We need more trees. Anyway, she had borrowed some kind of chainsaw from a widower friend that's gone blind. She is a part-time caretaker for him too - they go out to lunch every week and she always checks in on him. Anyway, Tara had a cold on Sunday so we didn't go down. Yesterday my mom calls me not to worry about the tree because her blind friend cut it down. I'm like "Ma! You let a blind guy handle a chainsaw?!" She said "yeah, and Dad was overwhelmed by it." I'm like "riiiiight....."
It's frightening how fragile my family is now. It wouldn't take much to push over an already teetering balance. And like a spinning top, time will eventually rob it of its momentum....
Shadow boxing the apocalypse
Posts: 3,426
Threads: 389
Joined: Oct 2005
Reputation:
0
He's like the Zatoichi of the chainsaw.
the hands that guide me are invisible
Posts: 33,874
Threads: 2,549
Joined: Oct 2005
Reputation:
3
Lynn Johnson's For Better or Worse comic strip is addressing strokes right now. I enjoy that strip because it moves through time, like Doonesbury. The characters age, unlike Peanuts or Family Circus. I'm curious to see where the Johnson goes with the stroke plot. So far, it's been quite resonant.
Shadow boxing the apocalypse
Posts: 33,874
Threads: 2,549
Joined: Oct 2005
Reputation:
3
When my dad had his stroke, I had a ticket to go to Las Vegas for a Thanksgiving gathering of Shaolin monks, being hosted by a martial brother. That martial brother has such a thick NYC accent that mandarin totally evades him. He tried to teach our master to speak English and had me work with him a bit on his 'homework'. It was weird. Your sifu is like your other father. Being put in the position of teaching English to my other father when my blood father had just had a stroke was downright surreal.
Anyways, my Dad continues to make baby steps towards improvement. At Tara's B-day dinner earlier this week, he was very happy and even laughing a bit. I think his quality of life is pretty good, actually. He seems to enjoy things and his expression is a little brighter than before. He still has some rather hard moments. When his medications fluctuate, we've had issues with explosive diarrhea, which was happening about once a month for a while. Let me tell you, you've never embraced filial piety until you've cleaned something like that up. It made things like longer trips, like to the city with the senior center or some close friends, challenging for my mom, but it's so sporadic. We haven't had an incident in a spell, so we might be due. His blood thinner med is a dicey one and has that as a potential side.
My mom continues to accrue more widow/widower friends. Her list of people that she looks after continues to grow. It's the extent of her social circle, beyond my immediate family.
I'm exhausted from the weekly trips to Sunnyvale, but my kid and my parents love them so. This week, with Thanksgiving next week, and grandparent's day at my kid's school, my mom said I might skip it to handle stuff at home. But I might go anyway - out of habit, I suppose. Give more, take less. It's the only philosophy that seems to apply.
Shadow boxing the apocalypse
Posts: 6,577
Threads: 169
Joined: Oct 2005
Reputation:
0
Amen, Brother.
-Cole
In the Tudor Period, Fencing Masters were classified in the Vagrancy Laws along with Actors, Gypsys, Vagabonds, Sturdy Rogues, and the owners of performing bears.
|
