My job sucks more than yours

[Drunk Monk]

Reed, that is. We put him on the cover a long time ago. He was at our 10 year anniversary, when Yeti and Legbone got their butts in the newspaper assisting Tu "iron crotch" Jin-Sheng. ED got Lou to sign a spear, I think.

Anyway, he just shot our next cover, featuring the CEO of AOL. That's right, he has an upcoming photobook coming out, and people will buy it because he is Lou Reed, after all. He felt the cover shot gave him the perogative to tell us how to make our magazine. He wanted new cover blurbs and was hassling our publisher (my boss) with calls, emails, all sorts of junk (pun intended). You know what it's like to try to run a martial arts mag with the godfather of punk backseat driving? Of course you don't. Neither did I until this morning.

To quote my all time fav Reed song "Stick a fork in their ass and turn them over, they're done"

[Legbone]

Sure I could treat her. Greg send me a private email for my contact info. Remember that most likely she will feel better, especially when I tell her I was the one that Cole bought the drugs from.

[Drunk Monk]

Problem 1 (long with all the links): http://ezine.kungfumagazine.com/forum/sh...hp?t=40193

Problem 2 (not as long): http://ezine.kungfumagazine.com/forum/sh...hp?t=40223

Just a few hours to the weekend and I'm counting the seconds....

[cranefly]

Uh, I wasn't going to mention anything, but under the circumstances, as my duty and responsibility to a close friend...

I'm a bit suspicious of Celestial Grandmaster Dr. George Salusbury as well.

Not a stop sign, understand. But a caution, soft shoulder, railroad crossing sort of intuition...

--cranefly

[Greg_phpbb3_import1]

Did you ever take shop class in Junior High? Did you get to see that safety film about the guy who was drilling into a piece of metal on the drill press and a chunk flew off and hit his eye? If not it was a morality tale about wearing safety glasses. They showed the x-ray of the guys eyeball with the metal lodged in it. They showed the surgery where they removed the offending bit of metal. I think he might have gone blind in that eye because of his careless disregard for eye safety. So, wear those safety glasses at all times, no matter how dorky they look.

What a bunch of horseshit. I had my safety glasses on. I'm cutting aluminum on the chop saw. Really thick aluminum and I don't like it one bit. Did I mention I had my safety glasses on. I have them on all the time because of the onset of my blindness. Anyway, glasses on. The piece of metal flies from the chop saw, hits my cheek, does a rebound off the inside of my glasse and onto the surface of the eyeball. Thank you safety glasses for the assist!

As I went to the medic to get my eyeball rinsed out, all I could think of was that stupid safety movie. I also thought about not blinking to prevent wedging the bit of aluminum into my eyeball. Which is really difficult. Boy did my eyes want to blink to get at that piece of metal.

Who knew safety movies lied. I feel so used.

Yes, the medic was able to wash the piece without sending me to the emergency room and allowing me to star in my own safety movie about the dangers of safety glasses.

[Drunk Monk]

I caught a metal splinter in my eye when working a grinder at AFS. I had my goggles on (as teh PPFY might remember, I was fairly anal about my goggles). The splinter must have flew up in through the air vents. I remember feeling it go in. I thought I got it out and went home, but it got worse and worse until I simply had to go to the ER. The PA who helped me was a stunning beauty, like some one off ER or Grey's Anatomy. She anestehtized my eye, then took a hypo needle to flick out the metal splinter just like you might an ordinary splinter, while my head was self-stablized against this brace and it took all my willpower to keep my eye steady and open. If I close my eyes, I can still see this gorgeous women coming at me with a hypo needle to my eye.

I was wearing full on AO safety goggles. For the record, I wear those 'designer' AO safety sunglasses as casual wear. They're cheap, durable and give me the protection I need from sun and allergens.

[Greg_phpbb3_import1]

I'm playing warehouse bitch. Every little odd project that needs to be done goes to me. Since, all of my workers are gainfully employed building my set. I do them. Heaven forbid anything should slow down the construction of the Ceasar's Palace show room.

I have to attach these gold painted disc to a flat panel. The best way to do this is lie on the floor while the panel is supported by some sawhorses. I have a partner hold the discs while I drive the screws. Simple.

First rule of the warehouse, or it should be, never lay down on the floor in the paint department's area. As I lay back to better see what I was doing, my head touched the floor. Or more precisely it touched the large wet paint pool that had been left on the floor. It was kind of a cream blue. It looked great on the back of my head and covered up my nascent bald spot nicely. too bad it didn't match my Branham Crane T-shirt or I would have gone with it.

[cranefly]

Sorry, but I gotta disconcur about the uselessness of safety glasses.

It happened in '79 (yeah, it dates me). I'm in Paoli, Pennsylvania, working for Burroughs Corporation as a data clerk. And damned fool that I am, I'm not wearing safety glasses. Go figure. Back then, we had keyboards and monitors, but this was before desktop computers, so we're accessing a mainframe in the icebox downstairs. Not that this is relevant. Anyway, I'm sitting at my desk, busily clerking data (typing away), minding my own business, and that's when it happens.

I blink.

Suddenly my right eye is on fire. I can't open it all the way. It feels like something is stuck in the iris. I reach up and -- son of a gun -- one of my eyelashes is curled inward. I don't know. Maybe I rubbed my eye just before this happened. Anyway, the tip of the eyelash is buried in my iris. I pull it out. And yes, there is noticable resistance as I'm tugging it free.

After that, I can't stop blinking. Every time I do, there's fire. I go into the restroom and look in the mirror. Sure enough, there's a very visible small crater in my iris. Now, I don't think there's nerve endings in the iris, right? But the rough edges of that crater scrape my eyelid every time I blink. And I can't stop blinking, and my eye is watering like mad.

I end up going home soon after that. It takes a couple days before the eye settles down enough to use it again.

Live and learn. I went out shortly after that and bought me a good pair of safety glasses.

These days, every time I feel a blink coming on, you better believe I'm wearing them.

--cranefly

[Dr. Ivor Yeti]

Isn't that the new Chrysler?

DM and Gjr, now you know why OSHA sez face-shield AND safety glasses.

When the MRI tech asks you if you have ever had metal in your eye, tell him "yes". If you haven't had an MRI yet....you will.

[Drunk Monk]

Hey PPFY,
Maybe you should start a thread about "what medical treatments has DOOM undergone?' Everyone post if they've had a colonoscopy...that sort of thing.

[Greg_phpbb3_import1]

Do I win if I tell my fear of the cutter story? I could top it off with the lump story.

[Haggis Killer]

....nothing to be said after reading this. Greg may feel differently about woodshops:

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[Greg_phpbb3_import1]

Sure, your jobs suck. But union leader has just been brought up on embezzlement charges. HA!

[Dr. Ivor Yeti]

Especially since he recently got older, why not start talking about our aches and pains, our chronic discomforts, about how young people don't apprecaite the hard work that went into destroying our bodies, and the healing properties of pudding (Pudding!)?

This weather makes my rheumatiz act up, consarn it!

[Drunk Monk]

I got a new pair of AO Safety glasses for casual wear. I love 'em. It's my 2nd pair of XF403™ Safety Glasses (red) http://www.aosafety.com

So start the old fart thread already someone!