Doom Dogs

[Greg_phpbb3_import1]

The dogs continued to amuse. I walked into the living room today and learned I am playing a new game with the dogs. It's called 'Poop or Vomit'. It was very hard to tell. It was really loose like watery stool or it was thick like chunky vomit. Those dogs and their clever tricks. They wouldn't give me any hints.

[Greg_phpbb3_import1]

I'm out on the daily dogwalk, maybe you've seen pictures. It's raining. I'm walking around the radio tower near my house which has a slight path that strikes fear deep into my heart. Mainly because on rainy days, it is incredibly slippery and has put me on my ass at least twice. But the dogs need to walk or they will eat the house. And this is the only entrance onto the radio tower road if the gate is closed.

So, we walk through the drizzle and on the way in, luck is with us. A car is just leaving through the gate. I don't have to walk the path of death. I release the dogs and we make our way around the radio tower. Rain falls. The dogs drink from puddles despite my admonitions. I take pictures of Mordor..

The time comes for us to leave. I say those small prayers that we will meet another car on the way out and the gate will be open. Two cars pass me on the way to the gate but I am not the runner to make it to the gate before it automatically closes.

As the dogs and I approach the gate, a fellow dogwalker approaches us with his well behaved Doberman, from the other side. For some reason, he stands just on the other side gate while I leash up the monsters. Then I realize he is going to open the automatic gate once I have Maeve and Dani secure.

Sure enough. He goes to the hidden control panel and enters the code. The gate swings open and I am spared the terror and potential humility of walking the goose greased path.

Simple. Except for the part where Maeve won't take her eyes off the Gate Opener's Doberman. Simple. I tug. Except for the part where Maeve resists. The leash slips over her head. She darts through the gate after the other dogwalker. Maeve stops and stares at me as the gate closes between us. Swear words erupt. Faithful dog Dani looks up at me to wonder how I am to solve this conundrum.

Well, the day before when I had walked the path in the rain, I had done it without dogs, too. When I was done, I called for the dogs and they came as if they had forgotten their natures and were momentarily obedient.

I figured I could just stand at the hole in the chain link fence people use to bypass the gate and call for my good girl. I called a couple of times, using the command that promises a treat as a reward. After a few tries, Maeve got the message and trotted around the brick wall to my hole in the fence. Dogs don't fear the path the way I do.

Here's the thing, Maeve likes to be bad. She receives tremendous pleasure from being off leash and racing up and down the streets. When she turned the corner and saw me holding the treat in one hand and the leash in the other, she saw an opportunity for mischief. Nothing makes her happier than being chased by daddy.

She spotted the other hole in the fence about ten yards down and decided to go for it. She trotted just fast enough to beat me to the opening. She raced by me out into the street.

More cursing. Naturally, I walk the dogs in the late evening when people are coming home from work. Cars drove by as I tried to get Maeve out of the street. I'm sure I got a lot of weird looks from my fellow Heights residents driving by. We spent five or ten minutes running back and forth across the street through the slowing cars.

Maeve headed back towards the locked gate looking for another opportunity. I saw this as my chance to box her in since the gate was in front of us, there was cinder-block wall to the right and a wrought iron fence to the left. I breathed a sigh of relief knowing that Maeve would soon be safe on her leash again.

Dani sees herself as the disciplinarian of our dog pack. When I tell Maeve get in line or reprimand her bad behavior, Dani barks at her or gives Maeve a good chomp on the hindquarters. As I approached the cornered Maeve to put on her leash, Dani decided now would be a good time to assert herself in this dispute. Why did she have to be the only one on-leash as her sister ran the streets?

Dani lunged forward interjecting herself between me and Maeve. It gave Maeve the room to avoid me and head back to the street. More cursing.

Maeve stopped, deciding she had enough of walking around in the rain and wanted to head for home. She stopped at the edge of the street and allowed me to put on her leash.

Just another day in the Heights.

(FYI: During this post, the power flickered on and off throughout the house, shutting down the computer. I was about half-way through this post and feared it lost. But the magic of the buffer kept it safe while I rebooted the computer)

[Greg]

Welcome to foxtail season. The queen spends an inordinate time pulling foxtails out of the girls fur during this time of the year. There would probably be less of this if a certain dog walk wouldn't let the dogs off the leash and allow them to run through the grass.

It was amusing to see on Facebook how few of the Queen's fans knew what foxtails were. Basically, they are organic darts that worm their way into the dogs fur and skin as a form of procreation.

What they are is nasty. I remember Preston gettin one lodged between his toes and it required surgery. I've pulled many bloody ones out that have punctured skin on the dogs.

One foxtail decided to do even more than. On Sunday, I noticed a walnut size lump on Maeve's side. In my usual manner, I hoped it would subside. It didn't. By Thursday, with prodding by the Queen, I resolved to take Maeve to the vet.

I told the vet I thought it was an infected foxtail causing the damage. Before you know it the vet had whisked Maeve away to the nether regions of the Highland Park animal Hospital. And seconds later the Vet returned to tell me that Maeve would be spending the day at the Vets while they dug out the puss and installed two drains.

Maeve had the cone of shame on when I returned to pick her up. She also looked at me as if I had betrayed her. When I went to pick her up to put her in the car, I accidentally put my hand on the drains in her side. They seemed huge. I also got a fist full of puss.

The Queen's first thought was to get Maeve a more comfortable neck collar than the current hard plastic that surrounded her head. I spent time trying to get T-shirts around her middle to absorb the fluids leaking from her body. My great t-shirt ideas proved terrible as Maeve constantly tripped over the fabric as it sloughed off her.

Basically, it was misery in the house. Maeve did a lot of whining and glaring.

The Queen did return with the inflatable neck ring. It proved much more comfortable to Maeve. It also proved no impediment to her licking her drains.



Fearing she would pull out the drains during the night, I had to put the hard plastic cone of shame back on her. Maeve was pissed. And let us all know it.

To make matters even better, it is also fireworks season now in Los Angeles. Explosions go off on a regular basis nightly. Maeve is terrified of fireworks. 

It was a great night. The Queen didn't sleep a wink. I slept. Because, well Maeve pesters The Queen.

Originally The Queen was going to walk Maeve at 4am while I took Dani for a real walk. Knowing what the Queen had been through, I opted to take both dogs and let the Queen get a modicum of rest.

I pulled of Maeve's cone, put on her leash, and headed out the side gate. First thing we heard was yet another explosion from somewhere down in the valley. Maeve froze. She was seriously considering going back inside the house and waking her mother. After much coaxing and cajoling I got her to to go on her walk.

The cone stays on until Monday when I go to get the drains removed. The Queen leaves for Florida on Sunday. Fireworks go off more frequently as we get closer to the weekend.

[King Bob]

Bummer Greg. I pulled a bunch of foxtails out of Hazel's fur last night, and she's short-haired. And all from one weedy parking strip.

[Dr. Ivor Yeti]

I remember my mom using forceps from work (the OR at El Camino) to pull foxtails out of the snouts of our dogs. They are nasty.

[Greg]

The biggest problem with these pet ordeals is being strong enough to leave on the cone of shame on for it's intended length of time. Actually, we eschewed the cone of shame and purchased the depression donut. It has the advantage of being soft and not hard edged, so when Maeve clips something with the edge it doesn't rattle here the way the cone of shame.

But still, the poor dog has this giant thing around her neck that makes her very uncomfortable. She spends the majority of the time glaring at me from with the depression donut. All I want to do is remove it. But then the Vet cycle would begin again after she had chewed through her side.

I do take it off her when we go on walks. But then I have to keep her on the leash the entire time. Maeve and I do not walk at the same pace. She spends a lot of her time sniffing at dog pee and dog poop. Eventually she does catch up only to start sniffing at new spots. With us both on the leash, I have to walk slower than normal and she has to walk faster than normal. 

I'm taking off the cone tomorrow.

The moral of the story, don't have pets.

No that's not it. Don't let your pets injure themselves.

[King Bob]

Wait until dog old age hits. (Hazel is almost 15.) Then you have to walk REALLY slow. I think I've gained weight because we go so slowly now. Our walks take the same time but we cover 1/4-1/2 of the ground we used to.

[Greg]

I've done the old dogs bit. And thanks, I'm blaming my weight gain on the dogs.

[Dr. Ivor Yeti]

I blame my weight gain on G-Man’s dogs, too.

[Greg]

When Maeve was a puppy, we despaired. She was a handful. She barked. She destroyed. She ran away from us. We questioned if she would ever settle down. She was a monster.

The day we brought Dani home, a flip got switched. She became Dani's protector. No matter how much Dani would bark and bite her, Maeve would take it. She was the elder dog and Dani was her charge.

Okay, Maeve can still be a handful, but not the way she was before Dani.

Now, Pixel was locked up in Cindi's office for her safety. Occasionally, she would venture only to be met by the fearsome monster protecting her house against all comers (Except fireworks. Those can have the house) The Queen would occasionally sit with Pixel on the couch but that was met with a lot of suspicion and poking with the nose at Pixel.

But that changed when Pixel neared the end. She could wander the house with semi-impunity. There were pokes but not like when she was healthy. It's probably anthropomorphizing to say the dog sensed her demise, but they didn't have aggression to her as they had done in the past.

And then there was the way Maeve changed when Dani arrived.

So, I was not surprised when Maeve comforted Pixel on her last day. That's the kind of dog she is.

[Drunk Monk]

Most bittersweet photo ever

[Dr. Ivor Yeti]

I’m not crying — you’re crying.

[Greg]

Maeve no longer wants to go for dog walks. She is nine years old. But I just think she could give a rats ass about getting some exercise. It's a struggle. Walking her is like dragging a fifty pound sack of cement behind me.

We are also at the end of firework season. so those still go off and frighten her. It also means she will only go left at the bottom of the driveway towards Deb's park. Because to the right, towards the radio tower, is where the fireworks go off. She is not going there. The walks into the park are slightly less of a struggle. Dani, meanwhile, just walks along at my side, on or off the leash.

Today we headed into the park and Maeve wasn't having it. She wanted to go around the circle and head back to the house. Nope. Then she wanted to take the turn towards the short path into the park. Nope. I need my steps. I needed to go up the hill. I dragged the dog along.

Dani was off the leash but was of no help. When she wasn't checking out things behind us, which caused Maeve to stop and wait for her, Dani was jumping on Maeve's back to release some sexual tension. It seemed like it took most of the morning just to get to the park.

Once, we are in the park and on a hiking path, I let Maeve go. The trail is narrow. There isn't a lot of place for to run to. And she knows to follow me. Sort of. I take her further along the trail than usual because I sense she wants to race back to the house. Eventually, I let her go. She dawdles but Maeve does follow me.

Our first stop, where I stop to let the dogs catch up, is Peanut Lake. It's a small, nasty lake that they top up with water every couple of nights. It's not deep. It's not fresh. But at least we have a water feature were people fish and catch crawdads. Yes, fish.

The dogs catch up. First Dani, and then Maeve the dawdler. I give them treats. I head off up the trail.

I turn around when I hear the barking. Now, I walk at this early hour to avoid any people when I let the dogs off the leash. But I have been bumping into a jogger who gets up early to avoid the heat as well. The dogs won't hurt him but they will annoy him. It could also be some coyotes, but it doesn't sound like their coyote bark.

Nope, the girls are barking at some lump on the ground. In the dark, I have no idea what it is. I take out my iPhone and turn on the light to find out what it is. At first I can't tell. It looks like a lump. Maybe it's food?

Then I realize it's a turtle escaping from Peanut Lake. And it's a good thirty or forty yards from the water. What's it doing way over here?

The dogs were incensed that this creature was in their domain. The walk was suspended until I could figure out what to do with the turtle.

Only one thing actually, I picked up the turtle and brought it back to the pond. This was a bit of an adventure since the water level was low and the banks were steep. I eventually found a place where I could lay down and put the turtle in the water. Problem solved. On with the walk.

The turtle wouldn't budge from the shallow water. The dogs could see the turtle and immediately resumed their investigation by jumping into the water next to the turtle. I dragged first one dog and then the other out of the water and away from the turtle. I pulled them away from the pond and released the dogs, trying to get them to follow me without their leashes.

That didn't work. They immediately returned to the turtle who still hand't moved. It was leash time. I usually only have to leash Maeve because Dani just follows us. Not this time. She went back into the water to chase the turtle who had by this time swam away. Dani decided to search in the water for this miscreant.

Eventually, I had both dogs under my control. I dragged them to the trail. They reluctantly went with me. At this point, the jogger showed up. The dogs started yelling at him.

Finally, I got to a point that I could release the hounds. They followed me. The walk continued. Turtle saga over.

As we looped back, we crossed the trail that led to Peanut Lake. I figured we were good since we were quite some distance from the pond. Surely, the dogs would follow me since I was heading back to the house and I had the chicken treats.

As is the case in so many instances, I thought wrong. When I turned around to make sure the dogs were with me, I found they had ditched me and gone back to continue their discussion with the turtle.

I found them at the lake. Maeve paced the bank while Dani waded in the water and searched among the reeds. Maeve knew it was time to go back on the leash so when I approached she backed away. The dog who couldn't keep up with me when I had her on the leash, now kept in front of me to avoid capture. Dani left the water and trotted at her sister's side.

We circled the lake. The dogs in front. Me behind. I knew eventually we would get to this cement culvert that would be impassible and I would be able to corral the dogs. For once I was right. Maeve tried to get around the culvert but was trapped. I got her leash on. Dani, meanwhile wandered off and fell into a large cement catch basin behind us that was full of water, too. She didn't seem to mind as I heard her lapping it up behind us.

Dani had to be rinsed off when we got home.

[Greg]

When the sky goes boom at the end of the night, all plans for sleep will be canceled due to frightened dog.

Tonight the sky boomed.

[Greg]

We've entered the vet-bill years.

For some time, Maeve has struggled to stand because of either pain or weakness in her hindquarters. She no longer sleeps on the bed with us because, I think, it hurts her to jump off the bed. For years we have helped her get on the bed. Her basic strategy is to get her legs halfway on the bed and then look at the Queen or I for assistance to get the rest of the way. But that has stopped.

Of course, one of the worst things for dogs with weak hindquarters are hardwood floors. Yeah, just like the ones we had installed. They can't get enough traction on the slippery wood to get their feet under them. Which is why I bought area rugs for all the rooms in the house. We even brought out the Turkish carpet to help them that I bought in Turkey decades ago. We never used it because the dogs would destroy it. But it looks great on the hardwood.

Now, is the time to get Maeve to the vet, though. She whimpers all night long. We don't know if that's just Maeve being annoying or whether she is in actual discomfort. It's time to find out what remedies we can use to make her more comfortable.

The first news from the Queen is that today's visit will set us back about $800 for x-rays and meds. She is also down from 79 pounds to 60.