Iron Crotch Festival Announcements

[Greg]

My references are so desultory I expect everyone to get them immediately.

[Drunk Monk]

Desultory is an obscure word. I'll bet over half the population doesn't know what that means. 

And I'm a writer of obscure things. It's how I make my living.

Even when I'm in Japan.

[Greg]

No Jamie Summers this go round. Oddly enough FB threw up a memory almost 6 years to the day from now when Stro was selected for Ojai.

Dear Greg,
Thank you for submitting Iron Crotch to the Ojai Film Festival. Unfortunately, we are not able to include it in our program this year.

Please know that your project was carefully considered by our programming team, and the decision was incredibly difficult to say the least. Unfortunately, not all of the wonderful projects we consider can be included, and we are forced to make many difficult decisions each year.

Thank you again for sharing your project with us. We wish you the best of luck, and we hope to have the opportunity to view your work in the future.
Sincerely,
Ojai Film Festival

[Drunk Monk]

And to make it super extra official....

Not sure what to say for well wishes for a documentary premiere (and I don’t trust AI to give me the right answer) so I’ll just say ‘break a leg!’ So excited to hear how it goes today.

[Greg]

Nothing welcomes you back to the default world from Festival World faster than a new rejection letter. (Festival recap is incoming)

Oddly, enough, Seoul was one of the festivals we were talking about last night at dinner. They weren't due to announce for another month.

Hi Greg,
Thank you so much for submitting your film to the 3rd Seoul Whistler Film Festival, and for your patience as we made our final decisions.

This is never an easy email to write. This year, we received an overwhelming number of submissions and the competition for a very limited number of slots was more intense than ever before. We spent a genuinely difficult stretch of time going back and forth on our final lineup.

After much deliberation, we regret to inform you that we are not able to include your film in this year's official selection. This was not a reflection of the film's quality or your talent as a filmmaker — it simply came down to fit within this particular year's program and the difficult constraints of our limited slots. We know this isn't the news you were hoping for, and we're genuinely sorry.

We want you to know that we were moved by your work, and we would very much like to continue following your career. Please don't hesitate to submit again in the future — we would love to see what you make next.

As a small gesture, should you submit to a future edition of SWFF, please forward this email to us from the same email address at that time, and we will be glad to offer you a 70% submission fee waiver.

Thank you again for sharing your film with us, and we wish you every success ahead.

Warm regards,
 Solji Yoon
 Executive Programmer
 Seoul Whistler Film Festival
 swff202410@gmail.com

[Drunk Monk]

(Festival recap is incoming)

Screw those rejections. We wanna hear about how Indiewood went.

[Greg]

Indiewood Festival

My festival cherry has been popped and what better place than on the sordid streets of Hollywood. And much like losing your virginity, the first time was alright. Nothing to get too excited about. Don't understand the fuss.

I left Fresno early, despite the late night with Weird Al. My screening was at ten so I left at 5 to make sure I arrived with plenty of time before the screening. I arrived with too much time. I walked the block around the TCL Chinese theater and nothing was open. I wandered to my hotel which sits directly behind the theater. I thought I would get my checking in out of the way since I had time to kill. The desk clerk not only checked me but gave me an available room which happened to be a suite. The room was really big. The bathroom was equally big. I could see the Magic Castle and Hollywood Aids Church out my panorama window.

Since I had a room there probably wasn't a need for me to change clothes down in the parking lot

I drifted back down to the venue where I saw some equally lost souls wondering when it would be time to get into the festival. The group was a man and his wife and their niece. He had two films in the festival, both shorts. He wanted to know where the Chinese Theater courtyard was, so I took them over. I snapped some pictures for them (which are now on his FB page) 

TCL 6 has two entrances and we went to a different one to see if anything had changed there. Nope. But there was another filmmaker hanging around. Her husband returned with the news the venue would open about twenty minutes before the start of the show. 

About then, the Tu Family arrived. We caught up outside. Jenny played designated translator. Jimmy arrived with his wife. We took photos. 

The doors opened and I went inside to get my badge. I asked if I could tape up my posters to the walls. The film organizer said no. Oh, well. They did have a small red carpet section where we could play Hollywood, so we did. I took photos. Sandy took photos. Lots of photos. Then it was time for the movie.

Actually, it was time for the three short films and then my movie. Because we took so long taking pictures, we only caught the tail end of the first picture. It had something to do with mental health screening for people incarcerated. The second picture just seemed to be a really long ad for some new robot that went to hospitals to talk to patients. Its speech patterns were tied into kind of a life like face. The robot was a bit creepy. The final short was called 13 seconds and was made by the man I met first. It was an experimental piece about 9/11 and was really well done. It was made up of recordings of people talking about their day leading up to the crash, then people experiencing the destruction, and finally talking about the aftermath. The visuals were rotoscoped lines and colors over actual footage from the day. It was all quite surreal and wonderful. I felt bad who had to follow up that performance.

My screening was fine. My film is too long. I felt bad for the people trapped in there watching it with me.

After the screening, we went back to the lobby. I think about 30 students and friends of Master Tu made the screening. They were all complimentary about Iron Crotch. Many people asked when it was going to stream so they could see it again.

At this point, Jenny invited me to go to dinner later that night. I asked if the whole group of students was going out. She said, "Nope. Just me and the family" Yikes. I couldn't turn that down despite built in problems of going out for Chinese food with a Chinese family. My rut is American style Chinese food not authentic Chinese food. Again, couldn't turn down the offer.

I bumped into the 13 Seconds director as I was going out to lunch. When I saw him, I was thinking I should turn around from embarrassment about my doc but I really wanted to tell him  how much I liked his film. I sucked it up and greeted him. He beat me to the punch by saying how much he liked Iron Crotch. So, did his wife and niece. It was odd. But they did have suggestions. They felt it was too long and could do with a good trimming. Things I agreed with. But what they saw, they liked. It's always good to get reviews from outside the bubble. And it made me feel less bad about the screening.

Dinner went really well. Sandy and Master Tu gifted me another lucky painting to hang up. ( I must hang the poster between 5-7am for it to work. And I have to clap three times in front of the poster before I make my wish) It was a seafood restaurant with TV screening covering an entire wall of the place. Of course, they were showing Sunday night football. I lost track of how many lobsters I saw being carried out of the kitchen. Now, the Tu family knows I like meat so Jimmy ordered meat. And the dishes kept coming. I don't know how he thought I could eat three different plates along with the Walnut Shrimp, Crab soup, Clam Soup, and, yes, lobster on the table. The worst insult was when the sweet and sour pork came out, the lowest of all Chinese dishes. Don't get me wrong. The food was all fabulous. I sat between Jenny and Master Tu with Jenny treating me like honored elder, serving me food. But come on, sweet and sour pork?

After all the trouble I went through with contracts to get the film made and the apprehension Sandy had with me (You remember the calls, DM?) it was odd to hear the Master Tu is ready to make another film with me. We spent a lot of the night talking about what that could possible be. We had no ideas for the film. Although GM Tu wants to do something more focused on Qigong. I expressed my thoughts that I didn't know what the angle would be to make that dramatic.

All told, it was an enjoyable 24 hours. A nice change of pace. But I'm left with the thought I need to cut about twenty minutes out of the film.

[Drunk Monk]

Sounds like a great success. Congrats! 

Sweet & Sour Pork FTW!

[thatguy]

Who were you wearing?

--tg

[Greg]

Somebody suggested I should enter Martial Arts Film Festivals......

Congratulations!


Your entry in the US Martial  Arts Film Festival Film Contest has been selected as a FINALIST. What does this mean for you?

*Your movie will be screened during USMAFF
*Your movie may win an award
*As a Finalist you have earned a discount code for 40% off VIP 3-Day All Access Pass.

Enter code "FINALIST" at checkout for VIP All Access Pass discount.

Remember to subscribe to the film festival website for email information updates and celebrity appearance updates. www.usmaff.com. Some of the current updates are attached.

Good luck in the final judging.

USMAFF TEAM

[Drunk Monk]

Somebody suggested I should enter Martial Arts Film Festivals......

Congratulations!


Your entry in the US Martial  Arts Film Festival Film Contest has been selected as a FINALIST. What does this mean for you?

*Your movie will be screened during USMAFF
*Your movie may win an award
*As a Finalist you have earned a discount code for 40% off VIP 3-Day All Access Pass.

Enter code "FINALIST" at checkout for VIP All Access Pass discount.

Remember to subscribe to the film festival website for email information updates and celebrity appearance updates. www.usmaff.com. Some of the current updates are attached.

Good luck in the final judging.

USMAFF TEAM

Pay to play, eh?

That's a pretty fierce line-up of fresh feature films. Kinda sketchy site tho. Not sure who's putting this on exactly...

Gonna go for it?

[Greg]

Sketchy! How dare you? Just because no one in the state of Arizona has screened the film before selecting the film, doesn't give you the right to call the festival sketchy.

Seriously, the program director emailed me last week because he didn't have the password to see the film so I sent it along. A week later, I get the letter saying I'm in. According to Vimeo no one has screened the film in the last ten days.

I have schedule conflict so I will not be able to attend, but I will send the film to them to be screened.

[Greg]

No Dingle for the Iron Crotch.

Dear Greg,
Thank you for submitting your film to Dingle Film Festival 2026. We regret to inform you that your film has unfortunately not been selected. We received a record number of submissions and it was really challenging to choose the final selection. We’d like to offer encouragement on your filmmaking journey and wish you the best of luck in the future.

We’d love to see you at the festival. We will have exciting news very very soon about our festival programme, with early announcements going on sale for our film programme and brilliant masterclasses, talks and events with internationally renowned guests. We also host industry networking events and Festival Clubs which are a great place to engage with festival guests, fellow filmmakers, actors, etc., a great space to be inspired, to share and to collaborate. We’re also delighted to offer a limited number of Masters, Film and Festival Passes. Feel free to follow us on socials to keep updated. 
We hope to see your work in the future.

[Greg]

No Hot Springs for the Iron Crotch. And the week isn't done.

Dear Greg,
Thank you so much for submitting your film to the 35th Hot Springs Documentary Film Festival. We were honored to receive your work and to spend time with it during our review process.
This year we received an especially strong and competitive pool of submissions, and after careful consideration, we regret to inform you that your film was not selected for this year's lineup. This decision was not an easy one, and it reflects the volume and quality of the work we received rather than any shortcoming in your storytelling or craft.
We know how much time, care, and heart goes into every film, and we want you to know that your submission did not go unnoticed. We hope you'll continue telling the stories that matter to you, and we would be glad to see future work from you in years to come.
Thank you again for thinking of HSDFF as a home for your film. We wish you the very best with it, wherever its journey takes it next.
Warmly,
HSDFF Programming Team

[Greg]

I guess I should have hung out at the Indiewood Film Festival a bit longer.

Paris Brosnan on the Indiewood Film Festival Red Carpet in Hollywood with John Rhys-Davies and Pierce Brosnan for the film Premiere of Seniors