Iron Crotch Festival Announcements

[Greg]

Now I get to have unexpected sad. I had just gone to Film Freeway to see if anything had changed and it had. Dances with Films had changed their announcement day to Monday. When I checked my email, I received the letter from Dances saying thanks, but no thanks. They did have messages from the committee for me....

I really wanted to screen at Grauman's....

Dear Greg -

Thank you for your submission to the 29th Annual DANCES WITH FILMS. We have seen an extraordinary group of well qualified entries this year, making this year's selection process among the most difficult in our history.

We truly appreciate the privilege of reviewing IRON CROTCH. It is with regret that we are unable to offer you a slot in this year's festival; however, we believe in your ability and power in making movies. We know first-hand just how hard it is to go from concept to finished project, and we applaud you! Your effort and perseverance are tremendous. Here are some encouraging comments from the committee:

Iron Crotch beautifully and thoroughly explains the intricacies of Qigong and in particular the art of the Iron Crotch as lived and taught by the Grand Master Tu. We appreciate the great lengths the filmmaker goes to explaining the ancient practice of Iron Crotch as well as the potential benefits. 

Programming decisions are multi-layered and complex. Please don't take this as a reflection of the quality of your work, as you shouldn't be discouraged by not getting into DWF:LA.

In appreciation of your submission, we have your name listed for a pair of tickets to any individual screening at DWF:LA. To claim these tickets, come to the DANCES WITH FILMS booth during the festival and our team will love to personally hand you the tickets. Once the festival is underway - you may find additional information on screening times at DANCES WITH FILMS.

Should you choose, we would be honored to view your work in the future. 
Wishing you the best of luck on your cinematic journey!

Sincerely,
Jackie Tepper
Programming Chair, Documentaries
Producing Partner
Leslee Scallon
Michael Trent
Founders

[Greg]

Follow up to Dances with films: This is the first note I have ever received back from a film festival. It is not something film festivals do.

[Greg]

Not going to France.

Dear Greg,
Thank you sincerely for submitting your work to the Cannes Film Awards. We are truly grateful for the passion, effort, and creativity you contribute to the film industry.
This year, we received a record-breaking 2,538 submissions from around the world, showcasing an incredible range of talent. Due to the extremely high level of competition, only 279 projects were selected for official nomination.

Please know that your film was not excluded due to a lack of quality, on the contrary, it is a testament to the strength of your work that it stood among such impressive entries. The selection process was incredibly challenging, and we deeply appreciate the value of your contribution.

We understand that this is not the news you were hoping for. We are truly sorry, and as a small token of our appreciation, we would like to offer you a 35% discount code for your future project that you may wish to submit to the next edition of the Cannes Film Awards: Cannes35. If you already have such a project, feel free to submit it here: https://filmfreeway.com/CannesFilmAwards
We look forward to seeing your future projects and to continuing this cinematic journey with you.
With gratitude,
Cannes Film Awards Team

[King Bob]

Merde!

[Greg]

Not going to Shanghai. To be honest, I forget I had entered this one outside of the Film Freeway portal. It also wasn't the film festival I was expecting a rejection from today.

尊敬的 Gregory Lynch Jr：
非常感谢您对第28届上海国际电影节的支持。
经过慎重而艰难的综合考量，我们遗憾地通知您，您的影片未能入围本届上海国际电影节。
希望这不是终点，而是我们未来再次相遇的起点。真诚期待您今后的新作品。
祝好
上海国际电影节
Dear Gregory Lynch Jr:
Thank you very much for your support of the 28th Shanghai International Film Festival.
After careful consideration, we regret to inform you that your film has not been selected for this year's Shanghai International Film Festival.
We hope this is not the end, but the beginning of a future connection. We sincerely look forward to your next work.
Best Regards,
Shanghai International Film Festival

[Drunk Monk]

Lā shǐ!

[Greg]

Thank you, Mr. Takei.

[Drunk Monk]

You know that Shanghai is in China and that Takei is Japanese, right? 

RIGHT?!?

Lā shǐ! is Mandarin for Merde!

[Greg]

Google Translate kicked it back as "Oh, my" which is what Mr. Takei says all the time.

Google Translate read it as "Hausa"

Fucking AI.

[Drunk Monk]

ya just can't trust googtrans.

[Greg]

But I am completely aware that George Takei lives in Shanghai, Japan.

[Drunk Monk]

When we were teens, McDonald’s marketed Shanghai McNuggets woth teriyaki sauce. I was so offended. I guess I still am.

[Greg]

Here is the rejection I've been waiting for all week. It was a free entry and no one in Greece watched the film. My expectations were low. But still.....

Dear Greg,
Thank you for submitting your film to Santorini Film Festival. Unfortunately, your project has not been selected for this year’s program.
We have received a great number of high-quality submissions and our programming team had to take many difficult decisions. Unfortunately not all the great projects we consider can be included in the program.

We wish you good luck with your projects and we hope to see your work in the future.

Unfortunately, at this time, we're unable to provide feedback, but if you're interested in learning more about this year's Official Selection, we'll be sharing news about our event on our social media pages in the coming weeks.
Sincerely,
Santorini Film Festival

[Greg]

More unexpected disappointment.  Stony Brook wasn't supposed to announce for two weeks.

Dear Greg,
Thank you for submitting your project to the 2026 Stony Brook Film Festival. Unfortunately, we are not able to include it in our program this year. This was a particularly difficult year, because we could not accept many amazing submissions. Please know that your project was carefully considered by our programming team, and the decision was incredibly difficult to say the least.

Thank you again for sharing your project with us. We wish you the best of luck, and we hope to have the opportunity to view your work in the future.

Sincerely,
Stony Brook Film Festival

[Greg]

Look at me not going to London.

Dear Greg,
Thank you so much for sharing your film with us at the 34th Raindance Film Festival. We truly appreciate your patience throughout our thorough selection process.
We want you to know that the programming team has carefully watched and discussed your work. It is with a heavy heart that we inform you that, after much deliberation, we have decided not to include your film in our Festival programme this year. We had an unprecedented number of excellent submissions, and our decision is no reflection on the quality of your work.

We sincerely apologise for not being able to provide individual feedback; our current resources do not allow for personalised responses to every submission.
We deeply value the dedication and effort that goes into creating a film. While we were unable to select your work this time, we genuinely look forward to seeing and supporting your future projects.

Thank you once again for your understanding and for being part of our community.
Yours in filmmaking,
The Raindance Film Festival Team