Who is this guy?

[Drunk Monk]

Kerr Cotton

One of DM's friends from facebook - a 12th dan black belt with 3 red stripes Ninja who's techniques are too deadly for the cage.

[Greg]

Is he related to Derek?

[Drunk Monk]

My first reaction was to go Kerr being Derrick’s failed clone but it kept going the wrong direction.

[Dr. Ivor Yeti]

Illegitimate son, left to fend for himself in an orphanage in Budapest.

[Greg]

No love for Hiram Horace? He used to be a big deal on Slovenia's ballroom dance circuit.

[Dr. Ivor Yeti]

Truth

[Drunk Monk]

Did not Kerr face Hiram in the International Artistic Fencing Championships in Warsaw? But neither of them got out of the first round.

[Greg]

Aldrich Kingsley was going to be a member of the Kingsmen but washed out miserably in the training phase.

[Drunk Monk]

I thought Aldrich was the quirky acquaintance of Charles Dexter Ward, the one who looked into unspeakable darkness and void, and lost his mind.

[Greg]

Didn't Dylan Bridges do his folk songs up in the city at the Hungry I back in the day?

[Drunk Monk]

Eden Grote was an abandoned Monty Python character. He was nebbish Nazi who was supposed to be played by Michael Palin, but John Cleese thought it wasn't funny, so the skit was cut. Later a BBC janitor found the name on some notes in a wastepaper basket and decided to name his newborn that. Eden hated his name and his janitor father failed to keep the notes, something he's always regretted because they'd be worth something now, and his son doesn't believe his name origins. Even if he did, he hated his father for it and failed at life, so all he could do was sling knockoff shoes on the web.

[Drunk Monk]

Simona Jenny got her given name and surname reversed when she came through customs. She was too neurotic to ever get it corrected and the reversal made her even more neurotic. She tried to sell phone plans in the kiosk in the mall but failed horribly exacerbating her neurosis to psychotic levels so now all she can do is sling whatever she’s slinging by spamming DOOM (I didn’t look - is it shoes again?) 

But DOOM don’t care. 

DOOM will have the Lobster Thermidor a Crevette with a mornay sauce served in a Provencale manner with shallots and aubergines garnished with truffle pate, brandy and with a fried egg on top and spam.

[Greg]

Kevin George once a key member of the Toronto Raptors basketball team during their run to the championship in the late 1990s now with his fortune squandered has become a shoe slinger.

[Drunk Monk]

Walker Carmen is a thinly disguised Carmen Walker, the jealous half sister of a gal I dated in High School. Still she taunts me.

[Dr. Ivor Yeti]

Jeremy Kingsley is a the third son of the Baronet of Ainsley Wold, and therefore cast out upon the world to live off of his paltry remittance and whatever he can scrape up slinging shoes to the hoi polloi.