Game of Thrones

[Drunk Monk]

I know, I know, we're all late to the boat on this one.  After seeing the victory lap panel at SDCC, Tara made me promise to tune into GoT - it's actually a trade - she must watch Into the Badlands, The Expanse and Star Trek: Disco - which is fair because GoT is 8 seasons, ItB is 3, TE is 3 going on 4 and ST is 3 going on 3.  I've said for a long time that I was putting GoT off because I suspected it would be like shootin junk for me - I would get addicted and have to spend the next few weeks binging it all.  So I've been waiting until I get sick.  

Well, I'm not sick.  Not physically at least.  I noticed my mom's Xfinity offered GoT for free (I searched all my streaming services and they all charged for GoT).  So I tried the first ep last night.  It's a bit spoiled for me because I know some of the characters will live and die already.  It's bloody and there were a lot of tits and anal sex.  And Dinklage of course, who seems to nail everything he does.  Momoa & Bean, well, I know where their story arcs are going.

So I watch the first ep and I'm like, okay, I'll try another.  Xfinity had all the seasons and eps listed twice - one as Free and the other as Buy.  Usually, like with Preacher, the Buy gets you commercial free.  But no.  Not this time.  When I clicked on Free, I got a "with subscription" lock.  WTH? Feckin Xfinity.  

I talked to Tara last night.  She says she'll send me the link to a pirate site where she watched it all for free.  

Honestly, I'm just biding time until next week, when Wu Assassins drops.

[Drunk Monk]

In S1E2, they discover the missionary position.  It's a major breakthrough, I think.  

It's very draconian, as in draconian laws, in regards to the royals.  

Just two eps in and I can already see how this show masters the end-of-ep cliffhanger, making it so bingeable.  I'd have binged more if I didn't fall asleep.  But I'm not hooked yet.  I can stop any time.

[Drunk Monk]

Enjoying GoT so far. So much gratuitous nudity sprinkled with bloody ultravi. 

Some sword points: Needle is a single-ring courtsword which didn’t exist contiguously to the arming swords everyone else is carrying. If they had the metallurgy to produce fine epee blades, everyone would be wielding them because it’s a far more efficient weapon (Needle is my fav sword so far). The Dothraki curved swords are basically haladie which are not - as described - good for horseback combat. Haladie were African swords were they didn’t use much cavalry. They are better at reaching around shields. — Sword-nerd drops the mic.

3 eps down. 71 to go.....

[Dr. Ivor Yeti]

+10 on your Sword-Nerdery

[Drunk Monk]

Thanks Maestro!  I figured you, at the very least, would understand.

After all, I am a weapons expert.  Or at least, I play one on TV.   

[Dr. Ivor Yeti]

I didn’t stay in a haladie inn, so I didn’t know about the haladie, hence the full +10.

[Drunk Monk]

What? You should watch this show - Man at Arms: Art of War.  They devoted half an ep to the haladie.  It didn't have the best weapons expert of the show, but it was still educational.  That being said, GoT doesn't use the haladie well, mostly striking with the curved edge and never taking advantage of the angled point. 

Season 1 down. What a gratuitous show - gratuitous ultravi, gratuitous sex, gratuitous meat chopping.  It's very carnal but somehow comes off as classy.  Lots of savage politics.  The ending, well, I kinda knew what was going to happen because although I avoided spoilers, this had been spoiled for me years ago.  Took long enough.  A whole feckin season.

It's very soap opera and draconian medieval law.  It's one of those shows where you wonder who makes all the candles. That must be a good living in the GoT world - candlemaking. Prolly don't have to deal with all the court treachery, just barbarian raids.  It's a world full of royals, rapists, whores, peasant victims, and some cool animals who get killed mercilessly a lot.  And dragons.  The sword fights are mediocre on the whole.  Maybe that's why I'm not as gaga over it as I thought I'd be. It's not as addictive as I thought it would be.  I can stop at any time.  I just don't chose to do so right yet.  It's not harming anyone and it's not like I'm paying for it.  Just a few more eps to tide me over.

[King Bob]

Did you see the SNL spoof (back during one of the early seasons)? The gag was basically that one of the writers is a teenage boy (Andy Samberg) who keeps saying "We need more boobs."

[Drunk Monk]

I must check that out.

There are a lot of boobs. And butts. I swear I’ve seen more gratuitous nudity on this show then all my other shows combined lately. And that was only season 1.

[Drunk Monk]

Did you see the SNL spoof (back during one of the early seasons)? The gag was basically that one of the writers is a teenage boy (Andy Samberg) who keeps saying "We need more boobs."

Apparently this sketch has been completely scrubbed off the web by SNL.  I found a ton of other SNL GoT sketches but didn't watch any of them for fear of spoilers.  I found a ton of broken links for that Samberg one, even some comments that it had been scrubbed.  I am sad because this sketch sounds quite funny.  

Started S2. It's okay. Still lots of gratuitous sex and ultraviolence. There's a lot of whores - like the bulk of the female cast.  Mediocre sword fights. Almost painfully mediocre. With so many swordfights, they could've at least got a fight choreographer with some skillz.  Some okay shanking tho.  Good to see more people of color although no royals.  The Dothraki are ethnic but barbarians who speak in some Klingon tongue that - to the show's credit - isn't always translated.  And now they're led by the ultimate white savior, the Mutha of Dragons.  They just added a black pirate, so another rapscallion rogue, reminiscent of Lando.

[Drunk Monk]

Btw, HP factor 2 (so far): Filch & Tonks

[Drunk Monk]

I confess that seeing Tonks nekkid was cringeworthy.  Mostly because I associate that actress with Harry Potter, which I associate with my kid's childhood daze.  Nymphadora Tonks was arguably the sexiest character in the HP film franchise, especially with a name like Nymphadora, and she has a decent role in GoT.  But sexualizing something from my kid's childhood is wrong. 

That being said, there's some strong female characters in GoT and some of them keep their clothes on.  There's a lot of whores too. Actually most of the female characters are whores. I guess there are no STDs in GoT land.  Must be nice.  I now get Captain Phasma - she's Brienne of Tarth - Gwendoline Christie who stands 6' 3".  Will she get nekkid?  We shall see.

There are also several chunky nerdy weaklings.  I'm thinking those are G.R.R.M.'s self portrait characters.  I kinda want them to be decapitated.  

Watching this now is solving a lot of odd pop culture things for me, like Phasma, who like Boba Fett, felt like an underdone SW villain.  It reminds me of when I read the Bible and random things started making more sense, like the Mitspah, although on a much more shallow level, of course.

[Drunk Monk]

Finished Season 2.  Still okay but not overwhelming.  Kinda plodding actually, but not so much that I'm bailing on it.  There's a promise that it'll get better and I can see where that might come to fruition.  All the best characters are really big people and really small people, like in physical size - tall, fat or short.  And there's a lot of sex and swearing. All the normal sized people have a lot of sex.  Actually, the dwarf does pretty well.  The violence is still middling, not really at ultravi level for me, but my standards for ultravi are high.  Actually, I take that back. It's just middling choreo.  It's sanguineuos.  Lots of backstabbing which is most of the appeal.

[Drunk Monk]

I'm on s3e3-4? The mother of dragons is coming to power and while I get why she's such an admired character, there's a bit too much white savior in her for me to really get behind her (although the 'drakaris' scenes where her dragons go nuclear are pretty fun).  It's mostly about Tyrion (Dinklage), Arya (Maise - hope she gets Needle back), Brianne (Phasma) for me.  Note that the last two actresses are the only ones who haven't gone topless yet (Maise is still a minor so that's not going to happen - Gwendoline, despite being 6' 3" stood up nekkid in a hot tub and her boobs were still off screen) - not that it matters really but the toplessness or lack thereof is notable.  Jon Snow is annoying and I kinda want him to die but I know he survives the whole show.  Grey Worm just got introduced and Tara tells me he's going to be a major cool character - he was one that was on the panel.

[Drunk Monk]

S3 done. On to S4.

I signed up to volunteer at the GoT show next week at Shoreline.  It works into my schedule and sounded amusing but I'm a little worried about spoilers.  Now I'm torn whether to jump into S4 or skip over to Cobra Kai whilst YouTube is offering it for free for a limited time, or at least chunks of it for free.  Tough call. 

You all read Martin, right? From the show, it seems like it would be a crappy read.  I'm guessing the show takes a lot of liberties.  Does he describe sex scenes well?  Because there's a lot of gratuitous sex.  S3E9 had a wicked turn which I imagine was a great story twist to read (worked pretty well in the show too).  

The fight choreo is improving but still not stellar. The surviving characters are solidifying but I still wish Daenerys wasn't so white.  It would work so much better for me if she was a woman of color.