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My dad tried to get up on Tuesday night and had a minor fall. He really can't walk because his legs have atrophied so much, not to mention being shackled to a catheter. I'm told he has a bruise on his elbow, but he had a jacket on when I saw him last night. He wasn't doing well. His face was locked in a grimace and he kept his eyes shut tightly through most of my visit. We only had a few moments of eye contact. It's such a challenge to connect. They bumped up his ativan (good ol' chemical restraint) which makes him really drowsy. I talked at him like usual and helped him drink some fluids. After a few sips, he managed to take over, holding the cup and finishing it on his own. When I told him that I loved him, he made an unusual expression with his mouth, as if he was trying to say something. Then, as I told him I had to go, he said something unintelligible, a short sentence that just came out garbled. Now, every with every visit, I really wonder if it'll be the last. Last night, I stayed at my mom's house and the phone rang after 9. That's unusual as none of my mom's friends call that late, so it made me wonder, like always now, if it was 'the call'. But it was nothing.
Shadow boxing the apocalypse
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Waiting for The Call.
In the Tudor Period, Fencing Masters were classified in the Vagrancy Laws along with Actors, Gypsys, Vagabonds, Sturdy Rogues, and the owners of performing bears.
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Sometimes I feel like I've been waiting for the call for ten years now.
Shadow boxing the apocalypse
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Truth, my brother, but you've been waiting for a few years longer.
In the Tudor Period, Fencing Masters were classified in the Vagrancy Laws along with Actors, Gypsys, Vagabonds, Sturdy Rogues, and the owners of performing bears.
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Yesterday I saw my dad and he was doing much better. It was global-warming warm so we went outside to the courtyard with the bunnies. He's got a new wheelchair, one of those fancy high-backed ones because he was sliding out of his old one. He was much more attentive, nodding and grunting appropriately to my questions and comments, but avoiding eye contact. He only said one thing to me - he looked me straight in the eyes and said 'spuds'. Or maybe it was 'zbuhdz'. The doc says he's 'diminishing' which seems accurate to me. My mom consulted with hospice and we've been extended until May. The most probable prognosis is that he will suffer another infection. It's inevitable. If it can be dealt with by PO antibiotics, that will be the course. If it is more severe, we won't do an IV again and will just let him go. He is already set with the Neptune Society and my mom doesn't want a service of any sort.
Shadow boxing the apocalypse
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I wish there were better words to express my sympathy to you during this time
So much for the flickr badge idea. Dammit
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With you, Brother Gene.
In the Tudor Period, Fencing Masters were classified in the Vagrancy Laws along with Actors, Gypsys, Vagabonds, Sturdy Rogues, and the owners of performing bears.
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Yesterday, when I visited my dad, he said "Hi! How's it going?" Blew me away as that's more than he's spoken to me in some time. He was remarkably clear for the first 15 mins of my visit, responding quickly and enthusiastically to my questions and comments. Then he slowly regressed to his normal asphasic state.
But still, it was an uncommonly good visit as he was more present than usual. The sun was warm and the bunnies were stretched out in their hutch. Visiting the nursing home is so draining. My weekly ritual.
Shadow boxing the apocalypse
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I visit my dad every week. He's been pretty even keeled since my last post here, as engaged as he ever is. Last week, he had what the nursing home called a 'tremor', some sort of shivering. I had visited him just the evening before and he seemed a little tired. So they took him out of activities, back to his bed and he slept it off. He didn't eat as well as usual over the last few days and he threw up his breakfast. He's on morphine now in an effort to make him comfortable. My mom said he slept most of the time during her visit today (she goes almost every day). She said he seemed to be aware of her presence by squeezing her hand as she held it.
Shadow boxing the apocalypse
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Strength, brother.
In the Tudor Period, Fencing Masters were classified in the Vagrancy Laws along with Actors, Gypsys, Vagabonds, Sturdy Rogues, and the owners of performing bears.
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My mom met with hospice today. They feel it is 'the end of life'. His symptoms indicate his body is finally shutting down. My dad now has a fever and is bedridden. He seems in pain apparently, but still responds to my mom's presence by opening his eyes and squeezing her hand. I have rearranged my schedule to see him tomorrow afternoon.
Shadow boxing the apocalypse
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Good news and Bad news. Sort of. Kind of.
So much for the flickr badge idea. Dammit
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Drunk Monk Wrote:I have rearranged my schedule to see him tomorrow afternoon.
Holler if you need us; if there's anything we can do.
Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
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Rereading this thread just now was very purgative.
Shadow boxing the apocalypse
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You have my deepest sympathies. This seems to have been coming for a long time, but I'm sure it was still hard when it happened.
Will there be a service?
So much for the flickr badge idea. Dammit
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