09-03-2007, 10:58 AM
It occured to me just how many times Jet has played a dark-sunglass-wearing hitman, dressed in a black suit, so I decided to rate them, best to worst.
Hitman: Eric Stang (Popeye in ED's DOOM flick) stole the show. This one defined the dark-sunglass-wearing hitman, dressed in a black suit for Jet, at least in title.
The One: Time travel ability was a definite plus for the hits. His dreadlock incarnation was the best.
My Father is a Hero: Miu Tse stole the show. He was a kid kung fu star. They always steal the show. I think Jet wore black in this. He must have.
Unleashed: Bob Hoskins stole the show just by being Bob Hoskins extreme. Not really an assassin, but Jet did wear a lot of black and killed on command. Close enough.
Lethal Weapon 4: Nice work with the mala-garrote, but too derivative of Robert Shaw's watch in From Russia With Love.
Kiss of the Dragon: Nice work with the needles, but too derivative of Lee's toothpicks in Return of the Dragon somehow. I know it inspired LB to go into acupuncture.
High Risk: Chingmay Yau stole the show with her bargaining orifices with her potential rapist. Jet played a stuntman, not a hitman, but we'll overlook this for the blatent hit on Jackie's character, which Jet later apologized for publicly. I think Jet wore black in this. He must have.
The White House visit: This would've been more impressive if he'd actually assassinated Nixon and Kissinger as planned, but they seduced the 11-year-old Jet with ice cream. I think Jet wore black in this. He must have. It was under his commie red sweats for sure.
Bodyguard from Beijing: Christy Chung stole the show. This was her at her peak.
Romeo Must Die: It was Aaliyah, not Romeo, who did the dying.
Cradle to Grave: I can't remember what happened in this movie at all.
Black Mask: Nice work with the mask, but too derivative of Lee's in the Green Hornet. The best scene in the film was the comment on that being too racist.
War: Too played out now obviously. Jet needs to stay away from those close-ups that show off his pock marks. It was good to see him in SF again - he hasn't done a film set here since Dragon Fight.
Hitman: Eric Stang (Popeye in ED's DOOM flick) stole the show. This one defined the dark-sunglass-wearing hitman, dressed in a black suit for Jet, at least in title.
The One: Time travel ability was a definite plus for the hits. His dreadlock incarnation was the best.
My Father is a Hero: Miu Tse stole the show. He was a kid kung fu star. They always steal the show. I think Jet wore black in this. He must have.
Unleashed: Bob Hoskins stole the show just by being Bob Hoskins extreme. Not really an assassin, but Jet did wear a lot of black and killed on command. Close enough.
Lethal Weapon 4: Nice work with the mala-garrote, but too derivative of Robert Shaw's watch in From Russia With Love.
Kiss of the Dragon: Nice work with the needles, but too derivative of Lee's toothpicks in Return of the Dragon somehow. I know it inspired LB to go into acupuncture.
High Risk: Chingmay Yau stole the show with her bargaining orifices with her potential rapist. Jet played a stuntman, not a hitman, but we'll overlook this for the blatent hit on Jackie's character, which Jet later apologized for publicly. I think Jet wore black in this. He must have.
The White House visit: This would've been more impressive if he'd actually assassinated Nixon and Kissinger as planned, but they seduced the 11-year-old Jet with ice cream. I think Jet wore black in this. He must have. It was under his commie red sweats for sure.
Bodyguard from Beijing: Christy Chung stole the show. This was her at her peak.
Romeo Must Die: It was Aaliyah, not Romeo, who did the dying.
Cradle to Grave: I can't remember what happened in this movie at all.
Black Mask: Nice work with the mask, but too derivative of Lee's in the Green Hornet. The best scene in the film was the comment on that being too racist.
War: Too played out now obviously. Jet needs to stay away from those close-ups that show off his pock marks. It was good to see him in SF again - he hasn't done a film set here since Dragon Fight.
Shadow boxing the apocalypse