Bonelessness

[Drunk Monk]

So it occurred to me that some of DOOM might not know the back story of bonelessness between DM & the Yeti.

It starts with my grandfather. Being an avid hunter, he took one of those hunting trips to shoot a bear in Alaska. He shot his the first day. He described it with zeal, how he was in the bear blind, sighted the bear, shot it and it jumped really high and then fell dead. One shot - first kill - only hours into a week of hunting. Gramps was quite proud of that. My grandfather's house was filled with trophies, mostly birds and deer - heads, pelts, skulls - and lots of taxidermy. The collection grew by one huge bear skin rug, a skull trophy which was framed with the shell and bullet he shot it with and a swizzle stick. The swizzle stick was the size of swizzle sticks - gramps was an avid drinker too - and it was the bear's penis bone, capped in gold. 

I remember telling this to Ivor outside the SJSU salle, while relaxing between classes on one of the picnic tables, where we often hung out. Ivor was astonished to learn about the bear bone facts. And DM, remembering that Ivor's ursine figure often drew bear comparisons (bears like my grandpa shot, not bears like Ivor used to hang out with on Folsom street). DM shouted 'Aha! This explains everything! You were kicked out of the bear pack because you were boneless!' Okay, sure, DM was a cruel teammate but society is to blame. To add insult to injury, DM started prancing around Ivor singing 'Boneless bear! Boneless bear!'

Ivor stood aghast. The embarrassing truth had been revealed. 

Ever since, it's been an ongiong taunt. Ivor had an excellent riposte tho, like any good maestro. He sent DM the following postcard:

On the back he wrote "We know what Basil said." Dm laughed so hard when he got that card. Well played, sir. Well played indeed. 

Oh man, I can't even type this without giggling. Twas a great moment in DOOM history.