09-09-2019, 01:44 PM
I am off to a flying start. I head off to the park tuesday to meet up with DM who arrives today. I went to go clean out the car only to discover the battery was dead.
For years I have sworn there is an electrical problem with my car. But my mechanic has always said these cars just burn through batteries. He tested it numerous times to show there was no current flow when the key was off. But if I turn the slot that holds the key, I can get the radio to work.
So, dead battery. I pull up the Queen's car and jump start the Envoy with my frequently used jumper cables. It's much easier on a big driveway.
I get in for my drive around Raymond to charge the battery and I notice that I'm not getting any sound out of the speakers from my iPhone. I was going to listen to podcasts during my drive. I play with the buttons in an attempt to trick the radio into working. Nothing.
By this time it's getting a little warm in the car, so I push the button to roll down the window. (That sentence no longer makes any sense for kids who have never rolled down a window) No sound. No windows. Something is screwed up. I think if I turn off the car and quickly turn it back on, it might reset itself. Most mechanical things do respond well to prayers and rituals. I turn it off. I notice the screen on the radio is still working. It usually shuts off when the cars is off and the car door is open. All of these are true and radio continues to function.
When I stick the key in again, I notice the display says unknown driver. Usually it says Driver 1 or Driver 2 based on which set of keys I am using. Nope. Unknown driver. I turn to the key and nothing happens despite all the lights on the dashboard still being on. The windows still don't work. The radio continues to operate. What the serious fuck?
I go and get the other set of keys to the same result. Unknown Driver.
I press a lot of the buttons on the instrument cluster and on the door in the hopes my car will snap out of it and function.
I go online to determine if anyone else has had the unknown driver error with my make of car. Plenty of people. It's fuse 31. Replacing this fuse fixes that particular problem. I call an auto parts store in Oakhurst to see if they have those fuses. They might. It would be best to bring it in.
I make the roughly one hour trip to Oakhurst and back to get the fuse. At the O'Reilly parts store, I ask them to check out the fuse. The fuse works fine. I buy new fuses anyway.
I put in the new fuse and then go have lunch. I'm a little stressed out at this point. I'm not supposed to be playing with the car. I'm supposed to be packing for the Backpacking trip which I am in no way worried about. No way. Not even a little bit. Why should I be concerned that I haven't done this little endeavor in over 40 years? I'm sure it will be fine.
For the fourth time today, I jump start the car (One of the great features about jump starting the envoy is when the battery comes back to life it activates the headlamp washing fluid ejector. Standing over the battery is the perfect spot to get splashed by this). The Dashboard tells me I am driver 1, despite the fact I have the Driver 2 in the ignition. I'm not going to argue. The radio works normally. The windows open. I go drive around for an hour.
It's currently working. I'm going to check it again in the morning. If it works, I drive. If it doesn't, the Queen has offered to drop me off.
For years I have sworn there is an electrical problem with my car. But my mechanic has always said these cars just burn through batteries. He tested it numerous times to show there was no current flow when the key was off. But if I turn the slot that holds the key, I can get the radio to work.
So, dead battery. I pull up the Queen's car and jump start the Envoy with my frequently used jumper cables. It's much easier on a big driveway.
I get in for my drive around Raymond to charge the battery and I notice that I'm not getting any sound out of the speakers from my iPhone. I was going to listen to podcasts during my drive. I play with the buttons in an attempt to trick the radio into working. Nothing.
By this time it's getting a little warm in the car, so I push the button to roll down the window. (That sentence no longer makes any sense for kids who have never rolled down a window) No sound. No windows. Something is screwed up. I think if I turn off the car and quickly turn it back on, it might reset itself. Most mechanical things do respond well to prayers and rituals. I turn it off. I notice the screen on the radio is still working. It usually shuts off when the cars is off and the car door is open. All of these are true and radio continues to function.
When I stick the key in again, I notice the display says unknown driver. Usually it says Driver 1 or Driver 2 based on which set of keys I am using. Nope. Unknown driver. I turn to the key and nothing happens despite all the lights on the dashboard still being on. The windows still don't work. The radio continues to operate. What the serious fuck?
I go and get the other set of keys to the same result. Unknown Driver.
I press a lot of the buttons on the instrument cluster and on the door in the hopes my car will snap out of it and function.
I go online to determine if anyone else has had the unknown driver error with my make of car. Plenty of people. It's fuse 31. Replacing this fuse fixes that particular problem. I call an auto parts store in Oakhurst to see if they have those fuses. They might. It would be best to bring it in.
I make the roughly one hour trip to Oakhurst and back to get the fuse. At the O'Reilly parts store, I ask them to check out the fuse. The fuse works fine. I buy new fuses anyway.
I put in the new fuse and then go have lunch. I'm a little stressed out at this point. I'm not supposed to be playing with the car. I'm supposed to be packing for the Backpacking trip which I am in no way worried about. No way. Not even a little bit. Why should I be concerned that I haven't done this little endeavor in over 40 years? I'm sure it will be fine.
For the fourth time today, I jump start the car (One of the great features about jump starting the envoy is when the battery comes back to life it activates the headlamp washing fluid ejector. Standing over the battery is the perfect spot to get splashed by this). The Dashboard tells me I am driver 1, despite the fact I have the Driver 2 in the ignition. I'm not going to argue. The radio works normally. The windows open. I go drive around for an hour.
It's currently working. I'm going to check it again in the morning. If it works, I drive. If it doesn't, the Queen has offered to drop me off.
As a matter of fact, my anger does keep me warm