my mom

[Drunk Monk]

Stacy and I saw each other for like 5 mins in the morning and 5 just now as we tag teamed care and tried our best to dodge the commute.  She started a notebook journal so we can communicate the course of each day and document medication.  Today was a huge day for my mom. PT, OT & social worker.  It was too much, way too much.  

I got back from work, said hi to Stacy as she darted out the door to beat traffic. I hoped to catch a moment after work but pretty soon after she left, my mom started gasping from pain and then speaking incoherently.  She gets paranoid about chores and tried to explain several things to me that I already knew about - really struggling to communicate.  It was hard to decode but I figured it out what she was trying to say eventually, did my best to reassure her and get her into a position of comfort. Full talkdown mode. She calmed down, and then started saying to herself 'I shouldn't have taken that Tylenol'.  That was several hours ago and well within her dosage schedule.  

Now I'm watching the clock until when I can give her more pain meds because she's maxed out.  Nothing to do but listen to her gasp. Every breath expresses her pain. It's so hard to watch her suffer and be powerless to help.

Mondays...