02-13-2014, 10:59 AM
My dad tried to get up on Tuesday night and had a minor fall. He really can't walk because his legs have atrophied so much, not to mention being shackled to a catheter. I'm told he has a bruise on his elbow, but he had a jacket on when I saw him last night. He wasn't doing well. His face was locked in a grimace and he kept his eyes shut tightly through most of my visit. We only had a few moments of eye contact. It's such a challenge to connect. They bumped up his ativan (good ol' chemical restraint) which makes him really drowsy. I talked at him like usual and helped him drink some fluids. After a few sips, he managed to take over, holding the cup and finishing it on his own. When I told him that I loved him, he made an unusual expression with his mouth, as if he was trying to say something. Then, as I told him I had to go, he said something unintelligible, a short sentence that just came out garbled. Now, every with every visit, I really wonder if it'll be the last. Last night, I stayed at my mom's house and the phone rang after 9. That's unusual as none of my mom's friends call that late, so it made me wonder, like always now, if it was 'the call'. But it was nothing.
Shadow boxing the apocalypse