06-18-2013, 04:21 PM
Really? Now be honest, because I'm pretty gullible. In fact I'm really really gullible.
I carried the check all the way home. Really. It wouldn't fit in any luggage or bag, so I just carried it. I tried really hard to keep the print side facing towards me so no one could read it, but that is hard to do. At San Francisco Airport, while I was in the aisle waiting to deplane, this pretty Asian lady (American, no accent) standing behind me said, "Did you win a million dollars or something?" I told her it was just a thousand. She said, "I don't believe I've ever seen a check that big before." I told her that there were a lot of things about me that were unusually big.
Then at customs, the Asian agent (American, no accent) looked at my return card and said, "So you were in Beijing on business," because I'd marked my trip down as business. Being the talkative cuss I am, I said, "Yes." This turned out to be exactly the wrong thing to say, because suddenly there's eye contact, and he says, "So, this business. You mind telling me a little bit about it?" I tell him it had to do with screenwriting, that the Chinese film industry had me over there about a possible screenplay. I so wanted to hold up the huge check in my hand (which he couldn't see because of the box he lives in), but I didn't. It would have been an outrageous way to prove my story. In hindsight I should have, and Lady Cranefly is very upset with me for not doing so. But I'd said enough and he stamped my forehead and onward I went to the next guy in a box.
So I have that giant check, and I'm fondling it right now.
I carried the check all the way home. Really. It wouldn't fit in any luggage or bag, so I just carried it. I tried really hard to keep the print side facing towards me so no one could read it, but that is hard to do. At San Francisco Airport, while I was in the aisle waiting to deplane, this pretty Asian lady (American, no accent) standing behind me said, "Did you win a million dollars or something?" I told her it was just a thousand. She said, "I don't believe I've ever seen a check that big before." I told her that there were a lot of things about me that were unusually big.
Then at customs, the Asian agent (American, no accent) looked at my return card and said, "So you were in Beijing on business," because I'd marked my trip down as business. Being the talkative cuss I am, I said, "Yes." This turned out to be exactly the wrong thing to say, because suddenly there's eye contact, and he says, "So, this business. You mind telling me a little bit about it?" I tell him it had to do with screenwriting, that the Chinese film industry had me over there about a possible screenplay. I so wanted to hold up the huge check in my hand (which he couldn't see because of the box he lives in), but I didn't. It would have been an outrageous way to prove my story. In hindsight I should have, and Lady Cranefly is very upset with me for not doing so. But I'd said enough and he stamped my forehead and onward I went to the next guy in a box.
So I have that giant check, and I'm fondling it right now.