Pom penis blues

[Drunk Monk]

As noted previously here, the pom has a disproportionally large penis for such a little dog. It's become a problem. Apparently, his foreskin fails to adequately shield his penis from the slings and arrows of misfortune, so he licks himself raw sometimes, leaving little pools of pom penis blood about the house. The vet says that there's not much to be done. We could surgically trim the pom's penis, but that is expensive, might not work and just doesn't sound right at all. Instead, we are to lubricate the pom's penis regularly with KY. The task has become a point of contention between Mr. and Mrs. Dm. Mrs. Dm argues that Mr. Dm should do the pom penis lubricating because he has more experiences with penises. Mr. Dm argues that Mrs Dm should lube the pom penis because she has more experience with penises that are not hers... okay, granted, that's a totally weak argument, but have you ever lubed a pom penis? It's icky.

This is my real life. I am so not making this up.