08-29-2009, 12:13 PM
I took one for the team and I did it while the Queen was out of town. I scored twice. I did other things while the Queen was away but those can't be posted here.
Rob Schneider is a martial artist. Who wouldn't want to see that film? Okay. He's not a martial artist. He's a fraudulent Real Estate agent selling Time Shares. He's going to prison. He fears Anal Rape. He wants to defend himself from the Anal Rape. Because that's what prison is all about. Anal Rape. Did I mention the Anal Rape? That's one of the things the film hangs on is Anal Rape. By the way, Anal Rap. He fears it. Anal Rape, that is. Because Anal Rape is bad. In prison.
He hires the mysterious "The Master" played by David Carradine as the stereotypical know it all wise martial arts instructor who chain smokes. Did I mention the Anal rape? The court gives him six months to train before going to the Anal Rape place. In that time, he becomes The Master's number 2 student. Don't ever meet number 1 student, The
Master says or he will kick your ass. I wonder if that was a plot point? Anyway, Anal Rape.
So, Rob goes to prison and is not anally raped because the first thing he does is kick the ass of the biggest Anal Rapist in the yard. He becomes Big Stan. But Big Stan grows a conscience and doesn't like anybody else getting Anally Raped in prison so he forbids it. He forbids all badness in the prison. The prison becomes a great place where people can live without being judged on their race, creed or color.
But the warden doesn't want a happy prison. He wants a bad prison full of something. Oh, yeah Anal Rapists. This way he can close the prison and sell the land to build timeshare condos on that spot. Who knows a lot about Timeshare condos? The Warden tells Big Stan to knock it off or he won't get early parolled. Big Stan needs to get because his wife is now in the hands of the Master and that's not good. Big Stan withdraws his protection from the prison population. Let the Anal Raping commence.
On his way to the parole hearing, Big Stan has a change of heart. He wants the prison to be a happy place again. No more Anal Rapes. He blows the parole hearing so he can get back into the yard and thwart the Wardens evil plan of a jail riot. but Big Stan meets up with Student Number one. They fight. Big Stan violates Student #1 twice in the ass. ONce with his finger and once with a steeple from the model of the new Timeshare development.
But Big Stan is too late. The riot has already started. The Guards are ready to shoot the inmates. Or has it. It seems Big Stans stand against Anal Rape and for tolerance has caught on. Rather than fight they dance to happy Mariachi music in a big choreographed routine in the exercise yard. No more Anal Rapes. Except for the warden who is now in prison and dating the big Anal Rapist.
Did I mention that Dan Haggerty plays a gay biker former convict who tells Stan all about the Prison Anal Rapes?
Yes, I spent two hours on a Saturday morning watching this film.
Rob Schneider is a martial artist. Who wouldn't want to see that film? Okay. He's not a martial artist. He's a fraudulent Real Estate agent selling Time Shares. He's going to prison. He fears Anal Rape. He wants to defend himself from the Anal Rape. Because that's what prison is all about. Anal Rape. Did I mention the Anal Rape? That's one of the things the film hangs on is Anal Rape. By the way, Anal Rap. He fears it. Anal Rape, that is. Because Anal Rape is bad. In prison.
He hires the mysterious "The Master" played by David Carradine as the stereotypical know it all wise martial arts instructor who chain smokes. Did I mention the Anal rape? The court gives him six months to train before going to the Anal Rape place. In that time, he becomes The Master's number 2 student. Don't ever meet number 1 student, The
Master says or he will kick your ass. I wonder if that was a plot point? Anyway, Anal Rape.
So, Rob goes to prison and is not anally raped because the first thing he does is kick the ass of the biggest Anal Rapist in the yard. He becomes Big Stan. But Big Stan grows a conscience and doesn't like anybody else getting Anally Raped in prison so he forbids it. He forbids all badness in the prison. The prison becomes a great place where people can live without being judged on their race, creed or color.
But the warden doesn't want a happy prison. He wants a bad prison full of something. Oh, yeah Anal Rapists. This way he can close the prison and sell the land to build timeshare condos on that spot. Who knows a lot about Timeshare condos? The Warden tells Big Stan to knock it off or he won't get early parolled. Big Stan needs to get because his wife is now in the hands of the Master and that's not good. Big Stan withdraws his protection from the prison population. Let the Anal Raping commence.
On his way to the parole hearing, Big Stan has a change of heart. He wants the prison to be a happy place again. No more Anal Rapes. He blows the parole hearing so he can get back into the yard and thwart the Wardens evil plan of a jail riot. but Big Stan meets up with Student Number one. They fight. Big Stan violates Student #1 twice in the ass. ONce with his finger and once with a steeple from the model of the new Timeshare development.
But Big Stan is too late. The riot has already started. The Guards are ready to shoot the inmates. Or has it. It seems Big Stans stand against Anal Rape and for tolerance has caught on. Rather than fight they dance to happy Mariachi music in a big choreographed routine in the exercise yard. No more Anal Rapes. Except for the warden who is now in prison and dating the big Anal Rapist.
Did I mention that Dan Haggerty plays a gay biker former convict who tells Stan all about the Prison Anal Rapes?
Yes, I spent two hours on a Saturday morning watching this film.
So much for the flickr badge idea. Dammit
