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10,000 BC
#1
Yup, another airline flick, another disappointment. You'd think I'd like it. I mean the heroes are all dreadlocks. They should have played off of that a little more ala Harold and Kumar and it might have been amusing. As it was, it came out as thoroughly idiotic Christian values, absurd re-inventions with biblical overtones. Hell, if you want to make a Christian movie, make it about the damn bible. The time frames were all messed up and in the end *spoiler* the pyramids don't get built (so wtf are those things in Egypt today?) Mammoths, psycho ostrich raptors and sabertooths. The whole sabertooth thorn-in-paw subplot can be seen a mile away. And wtf happened in the end? *spoiler* Why didn't the chick eat it? Oh yeah, Christians like happy endings. I tell ya, let me re-edit this puppy with a good reggae soundtrack, add some copious hobbit leaf scenes and some full frontal nudity, more graphic violence (at least a dozen more fight scenes with copious wire work), space aliens, and perhaps a nuclear explosion, and I could redeem this film. I could. I know I could.

Ahh, who am I fooling? Certainly not the angst-ridden meat-packed Ppfy. This movie sucks and there's not a damn thing that can be done. I hate airplane movies.
Shadow boxing the apocalypse
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#2
Do what I do - stop watching airplane movies. Even if it WAS good in the theatre, it's going to suck on the plane because it's been edited and your neck is going to ache from straining to see the damned screen.

I just bring my own entertainment when I fly. Much more satisfying, because I *can* have all the bad language and full frontal nudity I want.
Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
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#3
...forgive me if I don't heed it. I just can't resist airplane movies. I'll read for a little while on an airplane, but it gives me headaches if I read for too long - something about the shaking plane probably. Unfortunately since 9/11, it's made it hard to smuggle other forms of entertainment on board. Sad

Both of these movies were on those little personal digital screens on the back of the forward seat, which means to add insult to injury, I actually paid a few bucks for the privilege.
Shadow boxing the apocalypse
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#4
I caught it on cable. It was about what I expected, i.e. quickly forgotten fluff. I liked Apocalypto more. I thought one big problem was the ridiculously massive size of the sabertooth - couldn't someone have gone down to the La Brea tar pit and looked at a skeleton? Also at the end I thought that the cgi mammoths looked sort of like schnauzers in some shots.

But how weird was it that Omar Sharif was the narrator?
the hands that guide me are invisible
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#5
I don't know who you are or how you got KB's password, but the real KB had such love for things Egyptian and wrote a kick ass song about mastadons (or was it mammoths?) that he could never condone such an abomination of celluloid. Good La Brea ref, tho. That sounds like something KB would say.

When DM rejects a film with dreadlocked heroes, there's something seriously wrong with it.
Shadow boxing the apocalypse
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#6
Drunk Monk Wrote:...and wrote a kick ass song about mastadons (or was it mammoths?)

If you are talking about "Rock and Roll Mastodon", that was one of the few that I wrote...

And if you think it was kick ass, then thanks!

--tg
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#7
All these years I thought that was KB's. It's so bass heavy. You could totally hear the mastadon footsteps.

And yeah, that song totally rocked. It was always my favorite of the #9 playlist.

You should dig up that song, slap it on some 10,000 BC clip, and post it up on youtube. That would so rock. Until they made you take it down for copyright infringement.
Shadow boxing the apocalypse
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