The Tuxedo (2002)

[Drunk Monk]

I'm referencing this in an upcoming essay so I figured I'd revisit it to see if it was truly as bad as I remember.  It's not.  It's worse. Jackie did it because it was Dreamworks and he hoped to meet Spielberg. That's just another of Jackie's long list of excuses for making crappy films. At least he owns it. He's crippled by his English here too, clearly struggling with so much dialog. Jennifer Love Hewitt is his partner in flailing attempt at a spy buddy film that tries to head towards a rom-com but Asian men weren't kissing white women back then. They have no chemistry except in the ng. She is painfully objectified throughout this. HP factor 1: Lucius (aka Capt Lorca ST: DISCO). Strangest cameo for James Brown.

Some gratuitious sword swinging, along with taser tonfa (never explained) that predate the Star Wars Z6 riot control baton. Not DOOM recommended except for Greg.  Greg you gotta see this one again.  The sets are cool.  Really they are.

[Greg]

I don't believe you.

[Drunk Monk]

I don't believe you.