Man at Arms: Art of War

[Dr. Ivor Yeti]

Are you trying to tell me the producers don't know what they are doing?

I think that goes directly counter to G-Mans Hollywood/MST3K generating experience.

[Drunk Monk]

The Assassins Creed ep was the biggest cutting room floor ep for me so far.  I gave up a lot of material on the Templars and the Assassins.  Ardeshir and I had a bit of a debate in the War Room that was completely cut, mostly because I was toe-ing the line of the story they asked me to present.  But there were a lot of close up shots of me grinning, which was awkward, and I got to say 'Hand of God'.  Sure not as good as 'penis' but there you have it.  

I enjoyed filming this ep a lot because of Marko's little choreographed bit.  They basically set up this ep to let him go for that parkour bit and it was delightful to watch him work it out.  Even tho that's a short sequence, watching him work was cool.  

Next week we're off for the Way of the Turkey marathon (Kung Fu movie bliss!)  Then the following week should be my biggest showcase - The Weapons of Kung Fu.  That'll be the last ep I appear in for this season.

[Drunk Monk]

Who's sexier than Salma Hayek?

[Greg]

Rumor has it they had some young women demonstrate the three weapon staff because she had mad skillz

[Drunk Monk]

okay, sure.  a college freshman at duke is more sexy than a half-century old publisher.



don't tell salma, mmkay?

[Greg]

She knows.

[Drunk Monk]

Well, don't remind her then.

[Drunk Monk]

Well that was fun. Isabella’s 3-sectional was really bad tho. Painfully amateur. First time I saw that because it was filmed elsewhere. Anyone who knows the weapon will wince.

BK&S are weak with the Chinese stuff. I’ve talked to them about it. They just don’t know the field.

[Greg]

And you can dance!

The earlier demonstrations of the three section staff were so much better.

6 millisecond DM.

[Drunk Monk]

And you can dance!

The earlier demonstrations of the three section staff were so much better.

6 millisecond DM.

Right? Danny sez so!

Some of that was KFTC footage I let them have. You saw the credit, right? 

6MSDM - that’ll be my edm dj name.

I’m gonna watch it again.

[Greg]

The back drop did look like your place. I didn't stay for the credits.

[Drunk Monk]

The credits were scrunched for a preview promo so no one saw it.

I wish my hair was like that all the time. The makeup ladies glued it back so it’s nice and glossy.

I need to ask Crystal about where she gets her spanx.

---

Crystal was right. We kinda dishonored the 3 section staff. 3 coiling dragons? WTH? Where did Ferenc get that? Jians are compared to dragons, not 3 secs. I will say that Isabella looks better in yoga tights. No question. 

But I look better....

















...in knickers.

[Greg]

Her Spanx weren't very good. She seemed pudgy. To be fair, someone did seem to be rocking a bit of paunch during a twirling sword cut. (I have no right to cast aspersions about people's bellies. The shed for my tool is quite large)

But this was the total DM episode. You could have almost done away with Trejo and Crystal. Although then we would have missed the dancing DM line. DM even got to do one of the demos with the bronze Jian (brass?) That still strikes me as an odd way to go using that metal but I know it's traditional. DM got to cut! How many times did you have to do those strikes? He even got categorized by the statistician guy.

All hail, DM!

[cranefly]

DM even got categorized by the statistician guy.

All hail, DM!

Categorized?  Or did you mean cauterized?

I remember how, back in the day (at Wing Lam Kung Fu School), DM would be doing a straight sword set, and suddenly he would just cut himself -- not by mistake but with a mischievous Bruce Lee grin.  And then, shouting, "Sanguine!" he would continue with his form.  Sifu would always be watching with a slightly disapproving look, and when DM finished, Sifu would say, "Mop."  That was me.  I was Mop.  I had to go out there with a mop and bucket and clean up the blood.

That's how I first learned the straight sword set, by the way -- following DM's blood trails.  I figured out the pattern of the movements -- straight lines and to the corners -- from the trail, as well as the order of it all based on the dryness or freshness of the blood.  I even got to the point where I could deduce sword cuts, stabs, and blocks from tiny deviations in the blood trail.

Anyway, a belated thank you to DM for first teaching me that straight sword set.

[Drunk Monk]

Her Spanx weren't very good. She seemed pudgy. To be fair, someone did seem to be rocking a bit of paunch during a twirling sword cut. 

Yeah, but she was concealing much more that a muffin top.  It was a whole other human.  I need to suck it in more.

You could have almost done away with Trejo and Crystal. Although then we would have missed the dancing DM line. DM even got to do one of the demos with the bronze Jian (brass?) That still strikes me as an odd way to go using that metal but I know it's traditional. DM got to cut! 

I totally didn't hear Danny's dancing line when we shot it.  Too focused.  And I all three cuts in one take.  Despite the editing, it was one single choreographed sequence.

He even got categorized by the statistician guy.

All hail, DM!

6ms DM!

Thank you, thank you.  This was actually my last appearance for this season.

Anyway, a belated thank you to DM for first teaching me that straight sword set.

It was an honor.  

Did I actually teach you that?  Was it the Northern Shaolin 'Dragon Winding' Jian or the Tai Yu Jian?  My cutting sequence came out of opening of the Tai Yu Jian.