Doom Gifts

[The Queen]

I don't know what kind of yetis you've been embracing lately, but mine is most definitely not mangey.

[Greg_phpbb3_import1]

With precision and daring, my parents honed in on the gifts I needed most. (This would be the bah humbug list in honor of DM)

1. Two dogbone shaped picture frames
2. A calendar of scenes of New England
3. A hammer shaped pen. ( I could have gotten the whole tool set, but my father nipped that)
4. An itsy bitsy teeny tiny really small desk light
5. A copy of a copy of a copy of a bad print of the Forbiden Planet movie poster
6. A book on House flipping
7. A framed picture of Charlie Chaplin in Niles, CA


Look out for the regifting.

[Drunk Monk]

You mean that great shining bastion of culture, that mecca of cutting-edge art, profound philosophy and political clout, that avante garde capital of new fashion, you mean Fremont, CA, right? You mean the very home city of DM, where we host the annual world-renowned Charlie Chaplin festival.
Whenever you want to visit Niles, you can take the exit after the one you might take to Ranch MacBeth and just turn the other way - foothill-ward instead of bay-ward. DM can provide a personally-guided tour to the historical metropolis that is Niles which is both educational and entertaining (for a small fee). Please book in advance.

http://www.niles.org/

[Greg_phpbb3_import1]

She'll want the full tour. (I knew about the Niles-Fremont connection) Plus, she'll need a massage and she'll want to talk to you about the book she's writing on James Dean. Did he ever make it to Niles?

[Drunk Monk]

That tour offer is for DOOM and DOOM sigO's only. No relatives please. Ok, in truth, I've been out to Niles only a few times in the 6 years I've lived here. It's a bunch of odd antiques shops, gift stores, some bars, a head shop, a old-time movie theater that shows a lot of B&W films and a Thai Buddhist temple. I'd actually like to check out those last three more.

DM's XMAS haul:
HEPA air filter, 4 pairs of underwear (including xmas and nye boxers), 6 pairs of socks, two shirts, one pair of pants, one pair of PJ bottoms, two tins of almonds, a crate of oranges, a book on Hidden Meanings in Asian Art, two tickets to Blue Man Group, some stone-ground mustard, cheese grater, a Hummer flashlight that you shake to charge, a small watercolor painting, a piece of embroidery, a bar of sandalwood soap, a toothbrush and a huge pile of credit bills.

[cranefly]

We went to Niles maybe a year ago. Lady Cranefly wants all to know it has a really good bead store.
It also has lots of old used books -- many of them hardbacks. I was sorely tempted to get a sampling of them. The titles were really whacky.

[Drunk Monk]

I also wanted to mention that I got a tin of J. Garcia Sage of Wisdom tea (licensed by Republic of Tea). Ol' Jerry must be spinnin' in his grave over that one.

[Haggis Killer]

I love Niles. It's one of the few antique row areas I have near enough to me that I can hit once in awhile. Browsing for useless crap is like sleep for me. Very restful. Niles was home to a film production company that briefly had Chaplin under contract. Most of the original buildings are gone, but a local group has started a museum in one. They show silent films fairly regularly. If I still lived in Fremont, I'd probably volunteer there just for giggles.

But I don't. So I don't.

[Drunk Monk]

We don't want to hear how much y'all like Niles. I live near there. It's not that fun at all. We want to hear what you got for Xmas (or Hannukah or Kwaanza or Solstice or whatever the hell you celebrate). What did you get? Come on CF, LCF & HK, spill it. Me, TG & G have shown you ours. Let's see yours.

[Dr. Ivor Yeti]

No mange, me; I've had my shots, thank you. And thanks also to Our Gracious Queen and her Heating Unit, Hut, from the planet Klegg, for a lovely lunch.

Swag 2006:

Socks (midweight hiking, best for boots and MC)
Undies (for when I'm not wearing the kilt; boxer-briefs, if you must know, you cheeky little monkeys!)
Two nice, collared, dress-up and be adult kinda shirts
GC to Aerostich.com
Hotwheels
13th Warrior dvd
Plush Yeti
21 year-old Balvenie Port Wood (old enough to drink itself!)
Goldfrapp and St. Germaine (it's like frankensense and murrh, only musical)

Yes, you are all invite to try out the whisky.

-Yeti

[El Dingo]

Can't post.

Playing 'Guitar Hero' on PS2.

Must get 5 stars on medium level of 'I Wanna be Sedated'

Watch this instead:

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[Greg_phpbb3_import1]

Brother Lance wins as King of the odd gifts. I don't even bother to compete with him. I stopped after the coffin catalogue complete with girls in bikinis.

Do you remember the scene in the Godfather where the producer wakes up with the horse's head in the bed? That's what I got from Lance. A full size stuffed horse's head. There were a lot of WTFs as I opened the box. What is that big black thing? At first I thought it was a nun. But then it fell out of the bag and I knew instantly what it was.

It has a large plush mane, crosses where it's eyes should be and a red vinyl neck complete with spine bone.

Unfortunately, it makes a great bed pillow. It's huge and the Queen loves to put it behind her. As I walk passed her to the bathroom, I get a glimpse of the large pink tongue pinking out from behind her head. I'm waiting for it to wake up and kill us in our sleep.

[Haggis Killer]

- Warner Bros cartoons Vol 4
- Silly Symphonies Vol 2
- Complete Harveytoons
- Neal Gabler's "Walt Disney" bio
- Madhur Jaffrey's Indian Cooking
- Jon Mark & Robbo's Scotch - The Smokey Peaty One
- A photo taken by my brother in '69 of most of our old neighborhood friends and a couple of my cousins jumping into the Todd's pool
- (shared) Canon Rebel EOS
- Wallet from Israel
- mini Cuisinart

[King Bob]

I didn't get many gifts - Christina and I gave each other small stuff, so I got a sweater (which is very nice) a belt (also very nice). My mom gave us cash (she always says it's too hard to go shopping), so I bought a (nice) pair of Ted Baker shoes on sale. And I got a Border's gift card, with which I'm going to get the new (nice) Roz Chast book. I haven't seen my brother yet, but he will give me some useless junk which I will get rid of, like every year.

One of the best things at Christmas dinner was the gin Martini that Christina made. We got a bottle of Hendrick's gin, and it is EXCELLENT. I never liked gin, but this is very smooth and tasty, and it's only $30 or so at Trader Joe's. The resulting Martini was the finest one I have ever had. Blows away any vodka martini.

Also I sold two paintings, one of which was given as a gift, so that was also nice.

[Drunk Monk]

lessee here - a power 2000 juicer, ipath grasshoppers, two organic skin lotions, toothbrush, green tea mints, eucalyptus soap, floss, a book on juice fasting and a book on top mag articles of 2008, burmese lunch pail, $15 itunes credit (need an ipod now), book light, handmade glitter ball, paper frogs...hmm, that's about it.