It's Love

[Drunk Monk]

It's Love is the horrid U.S. title for Green Snake, Jet Li's newest, which just premiered in China opposite Jackie's 1911. That's right, Jet & Jackie are still duking it out over the Chinese Box. Score this round for Jet.

This is a remake of one of my closet fav films, White Snake, with Maggie Cheung and Joey Wang. The original is outrageously cheesey, pre-CGI, fant-ASIA. I haven't seen it in years. I remember watching it in VHS w/ED and him spitting out his beer when after trying to seduce him, Maggie reached under the monk's robe for an erection check. Perhaps, like Zu, it is painfully dated now, but I won't spoil my memories of it. This new version is also outrageously cheesey, but with CGI AND 3D. Of course, I didn't see it in 3D. Ain't no theaters in the states playing it in 3D. Nope. I watched it with via a stuttering pirate, like 'a-a-a-a-argh' and 'a-v-v-v-ast mat-t-t-teys'. At least it had subs. If ever the was a film I wanted to see in 3D, this is it. As you all know, I love it cheesey. Extra cheese please. The only way you can get cheesier than 3D is smell-o-vision.

I loved It's Love. It lacks the intense sensuality that Joey and Maggie exuded back in the day, right when they were at the height of their starletdom, but it makes up for it with a novel concept - snakes with boobs. I mean, obviously - OBVIOUSLY - Maggie and Joey had fine boobs in the original, but the new version makes cheesier use of snake boobs, with long CGI tails. Cheesey snake boobs. How could dm not love that?

The tale is based on a layered Buddhist myth about a monk exorcist (both roles which I heavily identify with in my own inflated egotistical way), a commoner and hot sister snake demons. It's an action/rom-com/effect-laden fantasy. Jet is the monk, a perfect role for him. The new snake girls look weirdly like Joey and Maggie, which was a mistake IMO, but a minor one. The effects? I want to say they are dazzling but on my stuttering pirate, I couldn't quite tell. They might suck. They are definitely cheesey.

This is superhero stuff, Harry Potter, crazy CGI backgrounds, all of which might work spectacularly in 3D. Might not. Can't tell can I? 1911 was released here but the 3D release of this is not to be found. My guess is that it's really good 3D, because it's so cheesey. Cheesey snake boobs. In 3D.

The fights are all magical - lots of flying about and projecting qi blasts. There are sword fights, but they are magical qi-projection swords. Nothing wrong with that. Totally counts for sword fights.

This is 100% DOOM flick. It is also 100% T-worthy. How many films fit that category. This might be the only one.

I will hunt down a clean copy for y'all. It just opened in China, so be patient.

[cranefly]

Borrowed this from the library. It's undergone yet another title change, now called The Sorcerer and the White Snake. With another 20 or 30 iterations they're bound to get the title right.

This was disappointing but not without entertainment value. The action is so CGI'd and wired that it becomes just a kaleidoscope of flashing pixels. There is no sense of gravity to anything the actors do, which really makes it cartoonish. I'm appalled that so many in Hollywood and elsewhere have embraced this flashy zero-G action-scene approach, because to my mind it greatly cheapens the effect. While watching this, I began appreciating Merantau all the more. Sure, there was some wirework in that one, but not a lot. Merantau is -- barring the plot -- a very good martial arts film.

I've read two comments that Jet Li has made about this movie. 1) He says the only reason he did the movie was because the director assured him he would be doing very little fighting; and that turned out to be totally false. 2) He said the fight scenes in this movie were the most physically demanding he's ever done, because his opponents (mostly women) didn't know martial arts, so he had to constantly pull all his strikes while his opponents went full-bore at him.

The snake ladies are cheesy in a wholly different way than the snake ladies in the original. I did find them and the whole movie entertaining, though I'm embarrassed to say I dozed through the fox girls scene (LCF found that amusing). But my goodness there was a lot of waving hands and feet about and shooting out beams and whatnot, and flying about and crashing into things and causing mayhem.

I like snakes. I like snake women. This was a must-see for me. I'm glad I saw it and would recommend it, but at the same time be aware there is enough cheese to whiz a wizard even of Jet Li's caliber.

[Drunk Monk]

specially with snake boobs

[Drunk Monk]

Watched this again on Hoopla. It doesn’t hold up well. It was a nascent time for PRC cgi, and now it looks weak. The filmmakers were reaching for a vibe that doesn’t come together partly due to the awkward mix of cgi & live action wire work, and partly because the actors don’t quite deliver - I suspect they couldn’t act around the effect less production. I wasn't expecting so its entertainment value was slightly elevated because I could just relax into it. But I recant my D00M recommendation now. It’s just an odd Jet Li flick. 

Glad I rewatched it tho. It made me rethink my approach to this CNY piece that I’m finishing up this week. Now I know where I’m going with it.