It's the cheese

[Drunk Monk]

Yeah, no.

But maybe for a $20.

Depends on where you stuff that Jackson 
< searches drawer for cheese thong >

[Greg]

Tucci on his eating in Rome show, ate a cheese that was full of maggots as part of the process.

Visions of DM's Thong are making me too ill to drive.

[Drunk Monk]

Tucci on his eating in Rome show, ate a cheese that was full of maggots as part of the process.

Must’ve been this cheese.

Visions of DM's Thong are making me too ill to drive.

Oh man up and have your Jackson ready.

[King Bob]

Philly Has a Brand-New Cheese Vending Machine, and It's Filled With Everything You Need for a Charcuterie Board
Cheese 24-7? Yes please.
By
Stacey Leasca
Published on May 7, 2024



Photo: Courtesy Perrystead Dairy

Need one more reason to fall in love with Philadelphia? How about the fact that it's now home to a 24-hour cheese vending machine? That should suffice. 

Perrystead Dairy, located in the Olde Kensington neighborhood, has officially opened the city's first self-service cheese dispensary, ensuring those craving cheese — be it at breakfast, lunch, or dinner time, or way into the wee hours of the night — can get it whenever they wish.  

Perrystead Dairy owner Yoav Perry shared with Travel + Leisure that he wanted to bring his customers "immediate satisfaction" whenever they were looking for a bite. As for how he got the idea for the vending machine, Perry noted he was inspired by similar operations in Europe and Philly's own history with vending machines. 

“We thought a 24-7 self-service dispensary in our pollinator garden would be a fun convenience and product showcase — a mere few feet away from where the cheese is made and aged,” Perry told T+L.

Inside the machine, guests will find a variety of the farm's cheeses, including its cow's milk Intergalactic, which places second in the 2024 World Cheese Awards, and even some charcuterie items like meats, preserves, and crackers to round out your snack time. And, according to the New York Post, the machine is also stocked with charcuterie boards made out of marble, wood, or slate. Perry told the outlet he'll start stocking cheese knives soon too.  

And, for the month of May, which happens to be American Cheese Month, Perrystead is also offering a limited-edition cheese named Umbra, which it made in collaboration with Murray's in New York City. According to T+L, you can get it online, in-shop, and, naturally, in the vending machine too. 

As for how the community is responding to the new vending machine, it appears to be a resounding hit. If you take a look at the comments on the cheese producer's Instagram, people are leaving words of praise like, "I’m ready for this idea to become the next trend," "I got cheese here this afternoon and need to get another fix soon," and "That's it, we've reached the pinnacle of civilization." Which, yes, feels accurate. 

[thatguy]

Nacho Cheese...with alka selzer!

https://www.seriouseats.com/alka-seltzer...pe-8643844

The Genius Ingredient for Perfect Gooey Cheese Sauce
By Swetha Sivakumar
10–13 minutes

---

Warning: This technique only works with aspirin-free Alka-Seltzer, which is sold under the Alka-Seltzer Gold label. The ingredient list should only contain anhydrous citric acid, potassium bicarbonate, and sodium bicarbonate. Do not, under any circumstances, use Alka-Seltzer with aspirin in this recipe: The presence of aspirin could pose extremely serious health risks to anyone who consumes it in this cheese sauce and must be avoided.

Why It Works

• Alka-Seltzer contains two harmless key ingredients—baking soda and citric acid—that react to form sodium citrate, the emulsifying salt that is the secret to all processed cheese sauces.
  
• Sodium citrate prevents the cheese from breaking into an oily mess, allowing you to create a smooth and creamy sauce from many different flavorful cheeses.
  

What if I told you that there's a way to make a cheese sauce as smooth and creamy as a jar of Velveeta from just about any melting cheese with nothing more than a single innocuous ingredient that is possibly already in your medicine cabinet. That's right: no emulsifying salts that require a special order, no futzing with cornstarch and evaporated milk, and no floury roux. The secret ingredient is Aspirin-Free Alka-Seltzer and today is the day that I reveal its cheese-sauce-making superpower to the world. It's been hiding in plain sight all along, each tablet formulated with a few basic ingredients that drive a chemical reaction that, yes, can treat indigestion, but—as will be clear once you understand the science—are just as good at making the elusive perfect cheese sauce for nachos and mac and cheese.
This is life-changing stuff. Ready to learn how and why?


Why a Smooth and Creamy Cheese Sauce Is So Hard to Make
Take a slice of good unprocessed melting cheese like Swiss, mozzarella, provolone, or cheddar and put it between bread slices. Grill it and the cheese melts perfectly, creating a rich, gooey, delicious treat. But when you try to make a cheese sauce by heating those same cheeses with water, you get a broken, clumpy mess instead of a glossy and smooth sauce. Why is that?

Natural cheeses don't mix well with water when heated, instead separating into tight little cheesy clumps and pools of oil and water. This is a natural consequence of cheesemaking: To make cheese, enzymes like rennet or acids like lemon juice are added to milk, causing the proteins in the milk to coagulate into largely insoluble, calcium-rich curds that can be separated from the liquid whey and turned into cheese.


The word "insoluble" is key here—the milk proteins that have formed those curds do not want to dissolve back into water. So how can we expect them to blend smoothly with water again when it comes time to make a cheese sauce? The answer is, we can't, not without some help to solve the problem, at least. The helper in this case is some kind of emulsifier, such as starches like flour or emulsifying salts like sodium citrate.

How Emulsifying Salts Like Sodium Citrate Make Smooth and Creamy Cheese Sauce Possible
Think of sodium citrate like a smooth operator: It has a strong affinity to calcium, and, when added to melting cheese, it can draw out calcium and swap it with sodium ions to form sodium caseinate. Sodium caseinate happens to be the most soluble form of caseinate, so once this switch happens, the protein in the cheese is able to both soak up more water and disperse well in it, trapping fat, and leading to a more stable emulsion. The more calcium the sodium citrate is able to swap, the better the emulsion works.

This is how you get that dreamy, creamy cheese sauce we all want. In fact, this is how processed cheeses like American cheese are made: Emulsifying salts are added, ensuring absolutely perfect melting no matter what.

The only problem with American cheese is it isn't the best in the flavor department. If you want to use your favorite cheese and still get a sauce as smooth as what American cheese is capable of, you need to add the sodium citrate yourself. Of course that means making the effort to buy and stock sodium citrate in your pantry—not impossible in this day of online ordering, but it's not exactly the kind of stuff you can pick up at your local Walmart.

Know what you can buy at your local Walmart? Aspirin-free Alka-Seltzer. Maybe you don't even need to buy it, maybe you already have it—I wouldn't be surprised if the ideal reader of this article is also a prime Alka-Seltzer customer…this is rich food, after all.

The Cheese-Making Magic of Alka-Seltzer, Explained
When you read the ingredients on a box of non-aspirin Alka-Seltzer, you'll see three main ingredients: sodium bicarbonate, potassium bicarbonate, and anhydrous citric acid. You may also see some flavorings and other non-active ingredients. If you see aspirin in the ingredients, absolutely do not use the Alka-Seltzer for this culinary purpose (see warning at the top of this article).

Let's break down what those three active ingredients are:

• Sodium bicarbonate is just baking soda by its chemical name. It's alkaline, meaning it has a high pH, and reacts with acids to create carbon dioxide, which is why it is an effective leavening agent. We use it all the time in the kitchen, there is nothing to worry about there.
  
• Potassium bicarbonate is another alkaline ingredient with common culinary uses. Like sodium bicarbonate, it can be used as a chemical leavener, and it is also a common ingredient in club soda. Once again, no worries, this is safe stuff.
  
• Anhydrous citric acid is a form of the same kind of acid that makes lemons and limes naturally sour. "Anhydrous" just means the substance is in a dry form. The acid is an important part of the formulation of Alka-Seltzer for the same reason acids in baking necessary to make alkaline leaveners like baking soda work: They react with each other to form carbon dioxide gas.
  

But let's take a closer look at the chemical reaction between citric acid and one of those alkaline ingredients, because the resulting carbon dioxide is just one of a few products, and as far as our cheesemaking interests go, it's not the important one. When you drop an Alka-Seltzer tablet into water, here's what happens:

3NaHCO3 + C6H8O7 ---> 3CO2 + 3H2O + Na3C6H5O7
Sodium bicarbonate +  citric acid = carbon dioxide + water + sodium citrate

Once added to water, Alka-Seltzer quickly starts bubbling because it makes carbon dioxide gas. The cool part is, the entire reaction happens without needing any extra heat (unlike some other leaveners…cough! baking powder…cough!). 

And guess what? The salt made during this reaction is our beloved sodium citrate! See, you don't have to hunt down sodium citrate, you can just make it via the magic of an Alka-Seltzer tablet and some water.

Using Alka-Seltzer to Make Cheese Sauce
This recipe is really easy, you don't even need a saucepan. Just use a microwave and a microwave-safe bowl. Put an original flavored aspirin-free Alka-Seltzer tablet in water —don't use lime or other flavors, as they'll affect the cheese sauce taste. Let the fizz settle, which you can do ahead of time (we're after the resulting salt, not the bubbles). If you rush and add cheese before it's done fizzing, you'll get foamy cheese, which isn't as tasty as smooth sauce.

Now, add unsalted butter, which helps balance the sodium from the sodium citrate and microwave until the butter melts.
After that, add a shredded melting cheese—you know, cheeses like cheddar, Gruyere, Swiss, provolone, Jack, that kind of stuff (not soft-rind cheese like brie, and not aged cheese like Parmigiano-Reggiano). This can be cheese you shredded yourself, or a pre-shredded cheese. (Pre-shredded cheeses often have anti-caking agents like tapioca starch in them; those anti-caking starches will further enhance the creamy texture of the sauce, but the recipe works with or without them.) Microwave in 30-second intervals until the sauce is hot and bubbly. It may seem runny at first, but it'll thicken quickly as it cools.

Finally, add any flavorings you may want, like cayenne, mustard, milk powder, jalapeños, or black pepper. After that, your sauce is ready for nachos, mac and cheese, or anything else.

And if you get a nasty case of heartburn, well, you're in luck, because you already have the Alka-Seltzer ready and waiting.

The Genius Ingredient for Perfect Gooey Cheese Sauce

• 1/4 cup (15ml) water
  
• 2 original flavor, non-aspirin Alka-Seltzer tablets (see notes)
  
• 2 tablespoons (30g) unsalted butter
  
• 1 1/2 cups shredded melting cheese (5.25 ounces; 150g), such as cheddar, Gruyere, Swiss, provolone, and/or Jack
  

Optional Flavorings

• 1/2 teaspoon pickled jalapeño juice
  
• 1/2 teaspoon yellow mustard
  
• 1/4 teaspoon cayenne pepper
  

1. In a microwave-safe bowl, stir together water and Alka-Seltzer. Let stand until fizzing stops, about 1 minute.
   Serious Eats / Amanda Suarez
   
2. Add butter to the bowl and microwave until the butter is melted, about 30 seconds.
   Serious Eats / Amanda Suarez
   
3. Add the shredded cheese to the bowl. Microwave in 30-second increments until cheese is melted and bubbly.
   Serious Eats / Amanda Suarez
   
4. Using a fork or small whisk, stir until the sauce is smooth, adding any optional flavorings if desired. Let stand until perfectly thickened, 1 to 2 minutes.
   

Special Equipment
Microwave and microwave-safe bowl

Notes
It is essential that you use non-aspirin Alka-Seltzer, which is often sold under the Alka-Seltzer Gold label. Do not—we repeat: DO NOT—make this cheese sauce with Alka-Seltzer with aspirin; doing so could pose a significant health risk, as aspirin is a potent medicine with potentially dangerous side effects,the dosage would be particularly unsafe in this sauce, and heating the aspirin can increase its potency even more. We also recommend reading the full Alka-Seltzer ingredient list just in case it contains anything you or a diner may be specifically allergic to.

This sauce can also be made on stove top: In a saucepan, combine water with Alka-Seltzer and let stand until fizzing ceases. Add butter and heat over medium heat until melted, then whisk in shredded cheese until fully melted and a smooth sauce has formed. Season with flavorings of choice, let cool slightly, then use as desired.

Make-Ahead and Storage
The Alka-Seltzer can be dissolved in the water up to 1 hour ahead.

--tg

[Drunk Monk]

There's a California Cheese Trail...

https://www.cheesetrail.org/cheese

https://www.cheesetrail.org/trail-map#5....9/-119.983

[Greg]

Whatever. There is an Ice Cream trail centered on Dublin in the East Bay.

Tri-Valley Ice Cream Trail

[thatguy]

There's a California Cheese Trail...

https://www.cheesetrail.org/cheese

https://www.cheesetrail.org/trail-map#5....9/-119.983

I found that site during covid and they weren't doing it. I wonder how much of it is still intact...There are several driving routes if you want to follow in the steps of cheeses, but some only have 1 location on the tour which seems silly to me... https://www.cheesetrail.org/driving-tours

--tg

[Drunk Monk]

Happy National Cheese Day for all those who celebrate!

[Greg]

I saw that......

[Drunk Monk]

Seen many times but bears repeating. 

The surname Cleese was originally Cheese.

[thatguy]

Seen many times but bears repeating. 

The surname Cleese was originally Cheese.

Works better than the "Cleese Shop" sketch.

"It's the singular, most popular Cleese in the world!?!"

--tg

[Drunk Monk]

Artisanal Cheesemaker Gets Ready To Open in Carmel Valley

• by Michelle Magdalena
  

Ken Howe and Sophie Hauville fill the planters out in front of the new Carmel Valley Creamery. (Photo: Michelle Magdalena)
June 18, 2024 – Out on a lesser-known country road at the far end of Carmel Valley Village there is whisper of a new artisanal cheesemaker in town, lucky for us, she’s French!  
Sophie Hauville pulls out containers of freshly made chèvre, local honey, herbed cheese and gruyère. It is melt in your mouth goodness. I shyly ask if I can have some more crackers, “You can dip your cracker right in the container, I’m French!” she replies.
Hauville and her partners—Ken Howe (her boyfriend) and Justin Saunders (who owns Dubbers in Salinas)—have been patiently waiting months for the county to clear permits so she can open Carmel Valley’s new creamery at 1 Esquiline Road, where Rosie’s Cracker Barrel used to be.
Once the permits are in place, Carmel Valley Creamery will be a place for locals and visitors alike to pick up picnic pleasures or stay and luxuriate in the warm valley sun and, most importantly, see and learn how cheese is actually made. 
The complex is also home to Barefoot Floral and sculptor Rusty Croft. (Photo: Michelle Magdalena)
The chalet style building is also fondly known as Robles del Rio Country Club and Hauville says it’s where locals used to get their groceries back in the 1950s, when it took all day to drive to Monterey. 
She shows me a book about Rosie’s Cracker Barrel, with photos of locals gathered outside. According to the book, the original owner, a beloved character named Rosie, would attract quite a cast of characters to hang out on warm summer nights in the valley—from author John Steinbeck to cartoonist Hank Ketchum, who created Dennis the Menace. 

It’s a space loaded with history and, once it opens, Hauville’s new cheese shop is bound to make some summer memories of its own, with fresh coffee, pastries from Ad Astra Bread and ice cream from Revival, as well as her own raw goat milk. 
“Goat milk is so good for kids.” Hauville says. Also for kids, big and small, the store will feature a stocked ice cream cooler. “I want kids to be able to come here and hang out like they did at Rosie’s Cracker Barrel,” she says.
Hauville grew up in Rouen, the capital of Normandy, France’s leading cheese producing region. “I grew up in a family that loves cheese,” she says. “We ate it at every meal and I was exposed to lots and lots of different French cheeses. Normandy makes Camembert, Neufchâtel, Boursin, Brie, Livarot, Pont Lévèque and many more. Cheese is my favorite food.”
After finishing a degree in business, Hauville moved to Chicago in 2002 where she worked in sales and marketing for 12 years before coming to California to get more sunshine. 
Taking a break from her career, Hauville thought she would seek refuge in nature for a few months in Big Sur, but the shelter in place orders came down at the start of the pandemic and the next thing she knew, she went from spreadsheets to beekeeping on the Eichorn family farm. 
That’s where she met longtime local cheese legend Charlie Cascio and he begged her to learn cheesemaking from him. Cascio was known for making the goat cheese exclusive to Big Sur Bakery and other high-end restaurants, and had been training workers to help him run a new private creamery at Carmel Valley Ranch. 
Fresh chèvre and gruyère at Carmel Valley Creamery (Photo: Michelle Magdalena)
“You have to be a guest at Carmel Valley Ranch to visit the cheese shop there,” Hauville says. After a couple of years milking goats and sheep and making fresh cheeses at the ranch, Hauville was ready to start her own creamery. So she and a support team that includes her sister Camille Hauville began preparing to open to the public in Carmel Valley. 
Not only will the Carmel Valley Creamery be a new spot for local kids to get treats, but also a bit of an education. “So many people in America don’t know how cheese is made” Hauville says. The creamery will not only sell what they make, but also be a resource for education with a large viewing window of the kitchen where visitors can watch the cheesemakers in action or peek through windows into the rooms where the cheese is aged on wooden racks. 
Watching cheese being made is a special experience that gives you a lot of respect for the craftsmanship and mystery around tradition of cheesemaking. For do-it-yourself visitors, the creamery will also sell cultures and small-scale cheesemaking equipment for those who want to try making cheese at home.
The cheese shop will offer other locally made foods, like honey, pastries and ice cream. (Photo: Michelle Magdalena)
With localized food movements central to climate solutions, small farms and artisans are more important than ever to support. It’s as if we need to reinvent the food system to be more like Europe and Hauville is bringing that tradition to our community. Currently there are only two other local cheesemakers in the Monterey Bay area, Rebecca King at Garden Variety Cheeses in Royal Oaks and the Schoch Family Farmstead in Salinas. 
Carmel Valley Creamery is planning a soft opening on Bastille Day, Sunday, July 14 and hopes to welcome the public to visit the creamery for some fresh cheese and cheeseboard essentials at the historic corner store—which also includes two other businesses, iron and sand sculptor Rusty Croft, known for his larger than life sand sculptures at Hacienda Hay and Feed, and Christine Cater’s Barefoot Floral. 
Later this summer, Hauville plans to make fresh mozzarella and burrata to serve with the season’s best tomatoes. Eventually she hopes to host workshops on basic and advanced cheesemaking with the local legend himself, Charlie Cascio.
Historical photos will be displayed on the walls of the cheese shop.

[thatguy]

Will they have cheddar?

I had read that headline in Edible Magazine. I'm excited because we go over there pretty regularly. (Going there in a few hours to get out from under the marine layer and warm up...). We often go to "The Wine House" which is pretty near to this spot (wine house is across from Talbott's motorcycle museum). You can't throw a brick without hitting a tasting room. They're more like a tap house, with some nice outdoor seating and a bocce ball court. Just a little further up the road is the turn off for Tassajara. 

We're also probably going up the valley on Sunday with some friends. We're wine club members at Folktail (they have nice outdoor grounds and do events like music or comedy). We have to do the pickup for this quarter. Tomorrow is the Carmel Valley farmers market about mid way up the valley. There's a shop there that started as a food truck called Toasted that makes awesome grilled cheese sandwiches. Grilled cheese and brisket. Grilled cheese and pulled pork. When they were still a food truck, I once got this amazing Portuguese bean soup with ham. So good...

Carmel Valley has some pretty darn good food options. Now I'm hungry...


--tg

[Drunk Monk]

Just a little further up the road is the turn off for Tassajara. 

Thanks. Now I have a better idea about where this is exactly.