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10-09-2023, 09:39 AM
(This post was last modified: 10-09-2023, 09:41 AM by Drunk Monk.)
I can't remember her first name right now, but yes, it's Jennifer B's mom. She had been in hospice care for a while for pancreatic cancer. She opted not to go into chemo because it was too rigorous and might not have improved things. She lived in the house adjacent to Jennifer's - their backyards were connected by a gate in their shared fence.
Stacy was there yesterday evening to give Janet (Jennifer's sister) a massage. Jennifer is a regular client of Stacy's, as are her daughters. She just saw Darden recently. Sadie is on a study abroad in Chile right now and I can imagine how hard that phone call will be. I remember having to tell Tara that her cat was dying when she was in Oaxaca in a two-month Spanish immersion program. That was the hardest phone call I ever had to make.
At least, this was expected. The family had been on death watch. We got the email from Jennifer this morning that her mom slipped away peacefully late last night.
Most of you knew Jennifer much longer than me so you probably knew her mother better than me. Jennifer and I did some dead tour and Rock Med together. And she still does my hair when I bother to do anything with it. But my only outstanding memory was during one of Jennifer's weddings (to Alex was it? Not to Tim, the one I solemnized) there was a basement filled with Asian antiquities which was designated as the 'stoner' section. Some of us had gone there for a puff and Jennifer's mom came down to take photos because she thought it was funny. Mind you, this was back with pot was still quite illegal. That's my outstanding memory of her.
Kb had a story about being caught on the carpet, so to speak by J's mom.
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I remember her as the fun and tolerant mom. I only met her a few times and this was back in the 1980s. Also amusing, I remember Miss B had a brother. I don't remember a sister.
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I knew Janet because she moved to SF from NYC (I think) and Jennifer put us in touch. Janet makes her living as a writer, so most of you lot would have nothing in common with her.
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Ouch. The truth, it stings.
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Her mom's name was Ann. She had cancer years ago, so this was either a recurrence or metastasis. I'm guessing the latter since I seem to recall that pancreatic cancer has a low survival rate, but I could be wrong. She was a good lady, always kind and encouraging. Also very smart. If she left Jennifer note and was annoyed or angry about something, she would sign it with a claw dripping blood which I thought was very funny. I don't recall being caught in the act by her, but she did catch us in bed together once and didn't care.
Her sister had a good sense of humor. She could play popular songs on the piano and change the major chords to minor so the songs sounded sad and funny. Her brother Bruce had moved to Colorado because he was a climber. I only met him once or twice.
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(10-10-2023, 02:35 PM)King Bob Wrote: I don't recall being caught in the act by her, but she did catch us in bed together once and didn't care.
Um, yeah. That’s the act I meant.
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10-11-2023, 09:24 AM
(This post was last modified: 10-11-2023, 09:41 AM by King Bob.)
I meant we weren't actually doing it at the time. So I guess caught entre acte, as it were.
Although the more I think about it, the more I'm not sure if we were doing it at the time or not. So it's kind of Schrodinger's Cat memory.
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How can you not remember that detail?
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It must be my bad habits of yore. Or mental decline. And the more I read about memory research, the less I trust mine.
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I feel that, brother.
Nowadays, I just go with my memories, real or false, but I do check them against the interwebz if it's something that I'm being paid to write.
But still, I woulda thought the act with JB would have been memorable, at least...
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Not saying it wasn't but of course so many that I might have forgotten that one.
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10-27-2023, 08:48 AM
(This post was last modified: 10-27-2023, 08:52 AM by Drunk Monk.)
I got my locks shorn on Wednesday and got to check in. Jennifer still felt very fragile, as fragile as I’ve ever seen her. The last few months of her mom’s life were a ‘shit show’. She had been battling cancer for several years, as KB said, and the chemo was devastating so she made the conscious decision to stop, at which point the cancer advanced at a rapid rate. She was in a lot of pain. Janet tended to her and couldn’t give her enough morphine to take that edge off.
The day of Ann’s death Stacy was scheduled to give Jennifer a massage but she passed it on to Janet. Jennifer was glad that she did that because it was so healing (after being a birth doula for 30+ births, Stacy explored being a death doula - she did report that she had one of her eerie feelings afterwards, sensing the time was imminent). Ann died on Janet’s birthday.
Ann was a bit of a hoarder. They are cleaning the house, which shares a rear fence with Jennifer’s house, to sell.
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Is that the family home up past Monta Vista or did Mama JB acquire a new house in the forty or so years since I last saw her?
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Nope. Jennifer has an eichler in San Jo. She’s been there for years - maybe coming up on 2 decades now.
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New term for the day......
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