12-27-2007, 01:56 PM
Cirque du Soleil -- KA
You ever wanted to see something badly but circumstances seemed pitched towards making you miss it? That was the case last weekend when The Lady and I went to Vegas for her sister's wedding.
The Lady and I arrived Friday evening and stayed in the aging Luxor with its rickety elevators (called inclinators) that throw you off balance when starting and stopping. The wedding was to take place the next day in a restricted part of the MGM Grand, high up in a penthouse room.
The plan was to have the wedding at 4 pm, eat at a sushi restaurant shortly after, and then go to the evening showing of KA – the martial-arts-oriented Cirque du Soleil show. I know DM had some influence on the initial tryouts, so it had double appeal for me.
This was to be the bride and groom's day. I should have been thinking entirely about them. But I have to admit that as Saturday wore on and the schedule looked ever more uncertain, I began having selfish thoughts.
There were hiccups all along the way – getting lost in the MGM Grand while trying to find the penthouse; the sheer length of the walk with a couple of older individuals; a clogged toilet that no one in the MGM Grand seemed willing to remedy; a baseball cap that became an issue for the wedding; forgotten socks that almost forced another delay; late arrivals as airline flights were cancelled and guests had to reroute themselves around the US – you name it. And then of course there was the last-second decision to webcast the whole thing (requiring debugging up to the last second).
The ceremony had to start on time if we were to make it on time to the sushi restaurant afterwards, and everyone had to finish eating on time if we were to make the KA show.
Tensions were running high, except for John the groom. Ever relaxed, he kept plying me with beers as the zero hour approached.
Amazingly, the ceremony started almost on time. Afterwards we had several wine toasts. By that point my speech and balance were a bit compromised. Just as we were to head down to the sushi restaurant, the groom insisted I have another beer. I pretty much chugged it because I didn't want to carry it down with me – though others did carry theirs. As we were walking to the restaurant, Lady Cranefly's father asked me where my beer was. When I told him I'd finished it, he said, "Good, you can have mine." So I drank his as well.
We got a nice big table in a back corner of the sushi restaurant. The bride and groom ordered carafes of sake for everyone. There was warm sake and cold sake. I couldn't decide which I liked better, so I kept sampling both. The food was great, but I was growing increasingly concerned. There were some late dishes, and then someone wanted dessert. The sake kept coming, and I kept sampling. Miraculously, we got out of there on time. KA was playing just down the hall. I weaved a lot getting there. And then, while we stood in line getting closer and closer to the ticket-takers, I finally turned to Lady Cranefly and informed her I just wasn't going to be able to do this. "You drank too much, didn't you," she said. I denied it, saying it just wasn't a good time for me. Though I insisted she stay, she instead apologized to the others, grabbed me by the elbow, and helped steer me off.
As soon as we were around the corner, I pulled free and stood my ground. "Go join the others, okay? I'm fine. Really. I couldn't feel better." She studied my improved balance, but still wasn't buying it. "You're acting way too weird right now for me to leave you alone." We argued back and forth until at last I shouted, "Fine! Come if you want. But I'm headed back to the Luxor." When I started to walk off, she shouted, "Where are you going?" "The Luxor, didn't you hear?" She stepped forward, grabbed my wrist, and tugged me after her. I never did have a good sense of direction.
We hurried through the MGM Grand, onto the walkway over Las Vegas Blvd., then the one over Tropicana, into Excaliber where we used its elevated walkway that adjoins the Luxor. At last inside the Luxor, I took the lead, hurrying up to the ticket counter to ask if there were any seats left. The ticket lady looked at me like I was an idiot. "You realize this is Carrot Top," she said.
"I know it's Carrot Top!" I shouted. "Are there any seats left!"
Lady Cranefly looked at me in disbelief.
"Listen," I said. "KA will be around for a while. But this? This is Carrot Top! He could be gone tomorrow."
"How many?" the ticket lady asked.
"Two," I said, staring down Lady Cranefly.
Carrot Top had never been more orange, his squinty brat sneer ever reminiscent of the L'il Rascals. He's a comedian without a sense of humor, delivering his lines like a Blackwater guard in a Bagdad square. What he lacks in finesse (which is everything) he makes up for with visual and audio props. Car horns. Squealing tires. Breaking dishes. The ever popular fart. Undersized luggage. Oversized silverware. Sight gags galore. In that grating voice that puts Gilbert Godfrey to shame, he shouted jokes about the IRS, a bedraggled Whitney Houston, NASCAR and rednecks. He riffed on Country/Western songs. He made fun of stupidity from the inside. And he was buff. Really really buff. I whispered to Lady Cranefly, "Look at his biceps! He's been working out!" She mumbled something about a hideous steroid freak. Then she covered her ears as Carrot Top launched into his finale – a rapid-fire costume change and rock song medley that had me dancing in the aisle.
After the show, we went back to the MGM Grand where I resumed my wobble as we rejoined the others. Lady Cranefly asked them how the KA show was. They said it was very good.
You ever wanted to see something badly but circumstances seemed pitched towards making you miss it? That was the case last weekend when The Lady and I went to Vegas for her sister's wedding.
The Lady and I arrived Friday evening and stayed in the aging Luxor with its rickety elevators (called inclinators) that throw you off balance when starting and stopping. The wedding was to take place the next day in a restricted part of the MGM Grand, high up in a penthouse room.
The plan was to have the wedding at 4 pm, eat at a sushi restaurant shortly after, and then go to the evening showing of KA – the martial-arts-oriented Cirque du Soleil show. I know DM had some influence on the initial tryouts, so it had double appeal for me.
This was to be the bride and groom's day. I should have been thinking entirely about them. But I have to admit that as Saturday wore on and the schedule looked ever more uncertain, I began having selfish thoughts.
There were hiccups all along the way – getting lost in the MGM Grand while trying to find the penthouse; the sheer length of the walk with a couple of older individuals; a clogged toilet that no one in the MGM Grand seemed willing to remedy; a baseball cap that became an issue for the wedding; forgotten socks that almost forced another delay; late arrivals as airline flights were cancelled and guests had to reroute themselves around the US – you name it. And then of course there was the last-second decision to webcast the whole thing (requiring debugging up to the last second).
The ceremony had to start on time if we were to make it on time to the sushi restaurant afterwards, and everyone had to finish eating on time if we were to make the KA show.
Tensions were running high, except for John the groom. Ever relaxed, he kept plying me with beers as the zero hour approached.
Amazingly, the ceremony started almost on time. Afterwards we had several wine toasts. By that point my speech and balance were a bit compromised. Just as we were to head down to the sushi restaurant, the groom insisted I have another beer. I pretty much chugged it because I didn't want to carry it down with me – though others did carry theirs. As we were walking to the restaurant, Lady Cranefly's father asked me where my beer was. When I told him I'd finished it, he said, "Good, you can have mine." So I drank his as well.
We got a nice big table in a back corner of the sushi restaurant. The bride and groom ordered carafes of sake for everyone. There was warm sake and cold sake. I couldn't decide which I liked better, so I kept sampling both. The food was great, but I was growing increasingly concerned. There were some late dishes, and then someone wanted dessert. The sake kept coming, and I kept sampling. Miraculously, we got out of there on time. KA was playing just down the hall. I weaved a lot getting there. And then, while we stood in line getting closer and closer to the ticket-takers, I finally turned to Lady Cranefly and informed her I just wasn't going to be able to do this. "You drank too much, didn't you," she said. I denied it, saying it just wasn't a good time for me. Though I insisted she stay, she instead apologized to the others, grabbed me by the elbow, and helped steer me off.
As soon as we were around the corner, I pulled free and stood my ground. "Go join the others, okay? I'm fine. Really. I couldn't feel better." She studied my improved balance, but still wasn't buying it. "You're acting way too weird right now for me to leave you alone." We argued back and forth until at last I shouted, "Fine! Come if you want. But I'm headed back to the Luxor." When I started to walk off, she shouted, "Where are you going?" "The Luxor, didn't you hear?" She stepped forward, grabbed my wrist, and tugged me after her. I never did have a good sense of direction.
We hurried through the MGM Grand, onto the walkway over Las Vegas Blvd., then the one over Tropicana, into Excaliber where we used its elevated walkway that adjoins the Luxor. At last inside the Luxor, I took the lead, hurrying up to the ticket counter to ask if there were any seats left. The ticket lady looked at me like I was an idiot. "You realize this is Carrot Top," she said.
"I know it's Carrot Top!" I shouted. "Are there any seats left!"
Lady Cranefly looked at me in disbelief.
"Listen," I said. "KA will be around for a while. But this? This is Carrot Top! He could be gone tomorrow."
"How many?" the ticket lady asked.
"Two," I said, staring down Lady Cranefly.
Carrot Top had never been more orange, his squinty brat sneer ever reminiscent of the L'il Rascals. He's a comedian without a sense of humor, delivering his lines like a Blackwater guard in a Bagdad square. What he lacks in finesse (which is everything) he makes up for with visual and audio props. Car horns. Squealing tires. Breaking dishes. The ever popular fart. Undersized luggage. Oversized silverware. Sight gags galore. In that grating voice that puts Gilbert Godfrey to shame, he shouted jokes about the IRS, a bedraggled Whitney Houston, NASCAR and rednecks. He riffed on Country/Western songs. He made fun of stupidity from the inside. And he was buff. Really really buff. I whispered to Lady Cranefly, "Look at his biceps! He's been working out!" She mumbled something about a hideous steroid freak. Then she covered her ears as Carrot Top launched into his finale – a rapid-fire costume change and rock song medley that had me dancing in the aisle.
After the show, we went back to the MGM Grand where I resumed my wobble as we rejoined the others. Lady Cranefly asked them how the KA show was. They said it was very good.
I'm nobody's pony.
![[Image: carrot_top_buff2.jpg]](http://www.hollywoodrag.com/images/uploads/carrot_top_buff2.jpg)
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![[Image: magpie13.gif]](http://imagegen.last.fm/LastfmLiveJournal/recenttracks/magpie13.gif)
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