Vikings Valhalla

[Drunk Monk]

[Drunk Monk]

[Drunk Monk]

S2e1 and we’re back!

I forgot some of who was who and what was what (the recap was helpful). Seemed to pick right up and set the characters in motion. All I can say is that was a staggeringly short time to go from being tormented by peons while caged and naked to being the leader of the squad with a cool furry cape. Some tasty ultravi. Watch them throwing axes.

[Drunk Monk]

I struggled through e2 because someone told my AppleTV that merc was in retro, so it was stalling out like every 10 mins, then it would take me like 5 mins to get it going again. But s2 is finding its pace. Freydis has one of those ‘practice’ swordfights where everyone uses live weapons and remarkably, only one person suffers a bloody nose. Then there’s an MMA fight Viking style. There’s some decent scenic stuff. A torture scene. A young Prince getting his first blooding. Then there was an opium scene that clearly demonstrated that the writers have no idea about what opium is or does. And the den pipes were wrong - pipes like those would gum up so fast because opium is resinous. They should’ve went with shrooms instead. That pulled me right out of the ep and had me scoffing at its ridiculousness. I’m just not down with dopey dope scenes.

[Drunk Monk]

E3 confirms my belief that the intention of VV is to spatter the actor’s faces with blood. The new smart women character is interesting and I like the queen. Freydis continues to be an Uber woman, even more so now that she’s preggers. She delivers the only fight in this ep. It’s ok. Leif has a really pointy nose. Everyone’s accents are starting to bug me because it’s more of an affectation than anything real. Like who knows what Vikings sounded like when they spoke English. I’m excited that they’re headed to Constantinople because I’m up on that after seeing the documdrama. The way the slaves are kept in the ship doesn’t seem like it would work - it’s such a tiny ship.

[King Bob]

Those Viking ships were quite small for ocean going vessels. I just looked it up to get the stats, and the surviving complete ships, the Oseberg Ship and the Gokstad Ship, are both about 70-80 feet long and just under 17 feet wide.

[Drunk Monk]

I remember seeing a museum exhibit where they reconstructed a Viking ship and it seemed small. 

In this show, one dude is a female slaver and he’s got like a half dozen women stacked like those old American slave ships. The space is like the size of a walk in closet only half the height.

[Drunk Monk]

The scene that in the trailer of the ice dam breaking is in ep4 and it’s well done. Convincing special effects - not quite sure how that was shot. The cross dressing girl is revealed (another obvs cross dresser - why can’t that ever be more surprising?) Freydis finally crosses the line in Jomsbjrg with the pagan refugees and it ends in a massacre. Freydis is mega preggers now. The queen moves against Earl and tortured his lover to death because that’s what you do when you’re queen. Her death is off screen so I’m suspicious it might be a red herring. Olaf bangs Aelfgifu which seems like an unlikely coupling but Viking women are weird. Then he takes her suspicious son with him to Rus.

A bit of a lackluster ep except for the ice dam break and the pagan massacre. Whenever their faces aren’t dirty or splattered with blood, everyone is quite freckly. Is that a Viking thing?

[Drunk Monk]

A lot of motion in this ep. Leif’s ship breaks its rudder forcing them ashore where trouble lurks. Freydis has her son in the temple but the local lord seems to oust her. He takes her son and now she’s on the run post partum. Stabbiness returns full force and there’s even some new nipples. 

I think there’s only 2 or 3 eps left this season.

[Drunk Monk]

E6 - Freydis’ arc comes to a satisfying resolution and vengeance is served by those who cast stones. Disappointingly that’s the only swordfight. Intrigue continues to entangle the castle with the queen snooping about, King Canute’s return, and Godwin getting betrothed by the King’s command. And Leif’s crew go over some ridiculous falls and the end for a literal cliff hanger (but we know they make it because they’re in the next ep.

2 more to go.

[Drunk Monk]

E7: the aftermath of the falls and finally, the pechenegs. The blind pecheneg faces his betraying brother and pulls a great move to exact revenge. And then there’s a harsh death.

E8 season finale - it finishes strong with Godwin’s marriage and the queen’s brilliant mindfuk play, Harald is tortured by hanging from spikes under his pecs, Leif and Harald finally meet the sultan of Constantinople but both of their loves become loves lost, one forever, and most important - a sword fight finale! Sword and shield and battle axe and spear plus some fisticuffs for good measure. It’s Freydis v Olaf, and it’s satisfying on many levels.

S2 fell short of S1 in terms of storytelling and sword fights, but it did deliver some Viking fun. It was mostly about Freydis who is a towering total badass. 

I’m down for s3 if this gets renewed.

[Drunk Monk]