Life in Lynch Lair at Wildcat Station

[Greg]

I was shocked to discover they are having a snow day up in Oakhurst. No snow here. But I can see it on the foothills.

[Greg]

Our town of Raymond threw there annual parade on Saturday. This was our first opportunity to attend. The last two years was cancelled because of the 'Rona. But since the pandemic is over it was time to celebrate? It was quite the event for out town of 1200. I think all 1200 were in attendance. Basically, the parade does a big loop around the town. Best part: It poured the entire time. When we left the house, it had just stopped raining. When we parked the car, it was just to drizzle again. By the time we made it to our spots to watch the parade, it was coming down hard. There was one slight tease, were the sun made a brief appearance and it looked like the rain was done. Nope. Sun went away and water continued to fall. The Queen just had a coat but not a completely waterproof coat so she was soaked. Her Apple Watch told her to discharge the water from the device before it would function.

The parade was an odd mix of political rally and Emergency Vehicles. It made sense for the Emergency Vehicles to be there as the parade theme was First Responders.I just hope nothing serious happened in the county as it seemed all the emergency vehicles in the county were there. The politicians were there because well people were there. I got to see all the people running for councilman. One of the candidates drove his VW Bug with the top down. Did I mention the rain. The best thing all the parade participants did was toss out candy as they drove by. I should have received more tootsie rolls. My neighbors camels made an appearance. They are huge. Oakhurst Ukulele marching band marched. (The Kamanawannaplayas)

There was a raffle. The Queen and I bought ten tickets. The Queen was told on Sunday she won a prize. It was a cooler full of Maker Marks hats, Hornitos Tequila T-Shirts, A Jim Beam Flask, some thermoses, and a six pack of Smirnov Ice. What every non-drinker needs. The bag of chips made it all right.

It was a fun day. We got to see a lot of the neighbors, I think. And it rained. So much rain.

[Drunk Monk]

Nothing beats the downpour at the Chinese New Year parade we did back in the early 90s. KB, you were at that, right? Was LB or ED with us too? I can't remember. 

We could walk to BART from St Barbarian, the haunted house Stacy and I lived in after Castle Highland, so we BARTed into Market and it was torrential. Parading dragons were blown down on to the asphalt. The marching bands were rough but the rudimentary drummers were on. The beauty queen floats were empty, followed by cars with gloved hands waving from cracked windows. In Chinese mythology, the Dragon brings the rain. And man, did it bring it. 

I remember us all huddling around our little heater at St Barbarian afterwards, laughing about how absurd it all was.

I kinda luved rain parades. Well, I did. Not so much anymore.

[Greg]

The Raymond parade was just totally amusing. I walked into the other bar in town for the first time and now I never have to go in there again. Visited the new candle/weird stuff store that just opened in the old telephone building. They have sex scented candles. We'll see how they do. It was fun to be in the town when it didn't look like a ghost town.

[Greg]

This morning the AC unit in the attic started making horrific noises that it has never made before. I went into the attic to check it out but except for taking off a cover there was nothing I could see to do. About five minutes, the noise grew in pitch and then clanked to a stop. I have turned the AC off. It is supposed to be 100º here today. Should be fun.

[Dr. Ivor Yeti]

This morning the AC unit in the attic started making horrific noises that it has never made before. I went into the attic to check it out but except for taking off a cover there was nothing I could see to do. About five minutes, the noise grew in pitch and then clanked to a stop. I have turned the AC off. It is supposed to be 100º here today. Should be fun.

Jesus Christ.

[Greg]

Starting day 2 with no A/C. It wasn't too bad yesterday. it was just a little toasty as we went to bed. All the fans in the house were set to Liftoff.

A nice man is coming out this afternoon to take a look.

[thatguy]

Keep that man hydrated lest he burst into flames while in your attic...

--tg

[Greg]

It won't be pleasant up there.

Ask me how I know.

[Drunk Monk]

Ask me how I know.

well, gosh greg. how do you know?

[Greg]

Telepathy.

[Drunk Monk]

oooh 

the farce is strong in you

[Greg]

The nice man came and removed the blower. A large chunk had broken off and spun around inside breaking other things. He has to go and get parts but they don't come in until tomorrow. He also has another call for tomorrow. The plan is for him to return on Wednesday really early. Which is good since tomorrow, the Queen and I could both be serving jury duty or we could be heading up to the Vet in Oakhurst to get Dani's self-surgery looked at.

Good times.

[Greg]

The nice man didn't buy the right size part so he couldn't fix the A/C yesterday. He also found out the price of parts have gone way up so the price for the repair has almost doubled. Hopefully he will get the right size part today and fix it before I get back and or The Queen dies from heat stroke.

What is weird about this whole adventure is I keep telling the nice man the make and model number of the unit. You would think he could use this to get the right part. You would think but be wrong.

[Greg]

Funny story.

Now this treatise could go in one of three places: either Doom Dogs, Brain Circus Insomnia or this wonderful spot. I chose here because all the stories lead back to here.

I went with the Queen yesterday to grab Dani although she was gaffing this edition of the Dani at the Vet Chronicles. It was a good thing I did. Sort of. First Doctor Laser met us in the little room to tell us about the procedure, which went well but there was a lot to it. After he scraped most of the tumor off the bone there was some weird stringy bits he was unfamiliar with. This unfamiliar bits are being sent to the lab for a biopsy at additional cost. He said the the root for the tumor was as thick, maybe a bit thicker, than his thumb. It was also probably the biggest tumor he has ever removed. Best of all, he showed me the most disgusting pictures of it all. He wanted me to see the stringy bits he was talking about. If I close my eyes for a second, I can still see the pictures. Did the Queen get to look at the photos? No. Hard pass.

Anyway, they brought Dani out. She walked out but seemed a bit groggy. Her entire torso was covered by this fishnet body stocking which held a giant absorbent pad over her drain. Yes, Dani has a drain. It stays in until Tuesday. Dani was fine until just outside the door, then she couldn't walk any more. The Queen notice blood leaking out of Dani's side. The Queen, for whatever reason is not a big fan of blood leaking out of people. She went back to get the vet. The vet told us the leaking was just from the drain and was perfectly normal. But they did bring out a doggy stretcher to help us carry Dani to the car.

So now we have this invalid dog that is really unhappy and groggy in the house. She wants to do what she normally does is just sit out in the garden and chill. Probably not the best idea but it would calm her down so when she forces her way through the dog door, we let her go. The Queen goes out to check on her after a few minutes. She comes back to tell me that ants have invaded her blood bandage and are crawling all over. Dani is too stoned to do anything about the ants. We bring Dani and spend some time pulling ants off her and the bandage. I lock the doggy door. Which means we also need to watch Maeve in case she needs a bathroom break. Fortunately, Maeve heads into my office after a spirited round of barking and goes to sleep.

Things are a bit on edge at the Lair. But we manage to go to sleep. Dani spent the evening staring longingly at the Doggy Door before joining us in the bedroom. She snores. 

At 1:17, I awake to the sound of the AC kicking on. Only it makes a sound akin to the sound it made when the AC failed a week ago. I jump out of bed and race to the thermostat to shut off. Dani has been good enough to sleep athwart the door so I navigate around her. I turn off the AC but it takes awhile to shutdown, all the while making this undulating sound. Finally, it stops. It is still 77º in the house.

When I go back to sleep, I now have a litany of things to obsess over instead of sleeping. I go from dog to AC to WW2 book, which I want to finish today, and back to the beginning. I would like to call the nice AC man but as I said, it is 1:30. I can't comfortably call him until at least 5:30. Or at the minimum text him. I lie in bed thinking I'm never going to sleep again. I manage a few zzz's eventually, but get up at my normal 4am.

I text the AC man at 5:30. He promptly calls back to say he can come right over but after that his day is full. He actually doesn't come right over but is here by 6:30. When he opens the panel to the unit in the attic, I can hear an "Oh, god" followed by an "Oh, no." It doesn't strike confidence in my heart that this will be an easy fix. It seems when he did the repair, he got the same size part but the not the right part. He used a shim to make it work. He does it many times before and it has worked 99% of the time. I guess this means we are 1% now. The part he needs, if they have the part he needs in stock, is in Fresno. He has other commitments all day and can't make the hour trip from Raymond to Fresno. And he is not even sure if they have the right part in stock in Fresno. The best he can do is Monday. 

Yeah, that's not going to work. The Queen has offered to go to Fresno to get the part if they have the part. If they have the part, he'll come back tonight and fix it. Meanwhile, we are back up to 100º today. That's kind of why The Queen is willing to go to Fresno. Plus, they have brisket down there. Fortunately, the cost of this is all coming out of his pocket as it should.

There we are. Good times at the Lair.

I wish my funny stories would be funny.