RIP Wesley Day

[Drunk Monk]

Wesley is a relative of Stacy’s. This will be a much longer post but I must make my mom’s breakfast and prep for my meeting so I’ll come back for it later today.

He was in hospice in Colma.

[Drunk Monk]

Stacy's family is distant at best. They hardly keep in touch with each other. Her parents divorced when she was young and both remarried. She reaches out to them sometimes but they seldom reciprocate. 

She met Wesley at ACWLP SF. She noticed his name and commented. He rolled his eyes but then they started chatting and discovered they were indeed related. She reconnected him with her family. This was when we were living in SF and we got to know each other well then. We went to concerts and galleries together on occasion, and shared several meals in local SF restaurants. 

Wesley was an art and music connoisseur with a massive collection of jazz and classical CDs and numbered B&W photo prints. We went to galleries with him. He was part of the NY art scene back in the day and had amazing stories about that. 

He met Dali at a party and thought 'Who is this absurd person trying to be? Dali?' 

He sponsored an annual classical music scholarship at SFSU - we attended several of the recitals there as his guest and they were exclusive and amazing. 

He was a classy guy, a reserved SF gay, who wore cool designer hats and loved his dogs - he always had a pure bred, mostly setters. He was also quite bore and would dominate any conversation, especially with family because most of Stacy's day side is very soft spoken, when they bother to say anything at all. But he did have some great stories - they were just longwinded. 

When we were in Fremont at Ranch Macbeth, we had the room to host parties and Stacy would put on these amazing homecooked xmas dinners and invite local family. We'd rent long tables and entertain maybe a dozen + people. Wesley would always come and do almost all the talking. He'd bring his dog who would have a blast in our big yard. 

When we left Fremont, Wesley hosted one party at his tiny, yet lovely place, a short walk from Glen Park Bart. It's a neighborhood that I never would've known had we not met. He showed us all the cool resources there - mom and pop shops with wonderful offerings that I never would have experienced. It was a tight fit for everyone (typical SF apartment) but Wesley laid out a gourmet spread of eats, of which only Stacy, Tara and I appreciated. Stacy's mother-in-law tried to host a party after that but it was horrible. She served frozen fish sticks. 

We hosted a small family gathering at the bungalow a few years ago. Wesley came. That was the last time I saw him. We also met Stacy's half-brother's new bride. They'd been married a year or so - a gal from PRC (Stacy's dad remarried a woman from Burma and they have two sons). We didn't even know he got married. That's what her family can be like. 

He went into hospice a few months ago. Stacy visited him twice. Tara visited him too when she came through for Spring Break. It was a horrible facility - no TV, nothing, just a view of one of the many cemeteries of that necropolis  - but he wasn't very coherent, talking in loops. They weren't sure if he recognized Tara - she was a favorite of his. 

Wesley gave power of attorney to a woman on the other side of his family, someone we don't really know. We have no idea what became of his place, his collection or his dog. She's very controlling and not forthcoming. But Wesley made his choice, something he said with regret to Stacy upon her first visit to him in hospice. 

We don't know if there is a will or if there will be services. He passed yesterday afternoon. 

Among Stacy's relatives, he was one of my favorites. He was so colorful. He talked too much but at least he had some things to say.

Wesley turned us on to Cotswold cheese and for that, we are eternally grateful.

[Dr. Ivor Yeti]

I'm sorry for your family's loss. That kind of energy is a gift to those around him. Old School Art Gay is a wonderful thing.

[cranefly]

What a great tribute you just wrote.  Sorry to hear of his passing.