The Chariots of DOOM

[Dr. Ivor Yeti]

Best resolution ever!

[Drunk Monk]

A $280 solution but I’ll take it. Unless she wins her appeal. But I’m skeptical.

[cranefly]

Yesterday I wandered out in the driveway because LCF was fussing out there with the Prius after coming home.  Both front doors were open, and she was obviously annoyed.

"It won't shut off!" she said.

So I gave it a try, pushing on the brake, pressing the power button.  Nope.  Still on.  We tried putting the fob in the ignition and doing the same.  Still no dice.  Finally I just held the power button in for maybe ten seconds, and it shut down.

Still, something's starting to go wrong.  If it's the 12-volt auxiliary battery in the trunk, that's a nightmare to replace.  I did it once, and it took a couple hours.  Still, that would be cheaper than other possibilities.  I found a way to check the 12 volt by pressing/holding a button on the display while toggling the lights on and off three times.  That brings up a hidden menu, and I was able to navigate down to a readout of the 12 volt.  It seems okay, 11.9, though I might not have tested it properly under a load.


If the 12 volt is okay, it could be the combination meter (according to many Prius owners who've encountered this), which is several hundred bucks for the part, and that's not including installation.

Anyway, it hasn't happened again, though we haven't driven it much.  It certainly doesn't give us a warm and fuzzy feeling.

BTW, the Prius (and likely lot of other modern cars) has all of these secret control combos to get at info or reset things.  For instant, you can program a new fob for your car through a combo of inserting it into you ignition multiple times and opening and closing the door again and again, all in the correct order.  So far we haven't had to do that.

[Drunk Monk]

major bummer

this one-car couple thing has its pitfalls for sure

there must be a hack site on the web for secret car codes somewhere.

[thatguy]

I was taking a sick day on Tues to run around and try to see a doctor about a thing. The doctor I was able to see said that I should probably see my regular doctor (back in the CRUZ) since he knows my history. It was one of the hotter days this week, so while I sat in the car making phone calls, I had the AC on. My battery died enough that I couldn’t start the car. I had to wait an hour for a tow service guy to come by and clip on a battery pack so I could start it up.

Right after I got it going, I went to a battery shop and bought a new one. I put it in in the parking lot so I could return the core. After that, my car stereo stopped working. It just said “Enter code”. I was near the Honda dealer by the old MQ6 theater, so I pulled into service to ask them if the knew the code. Luckily I did that because apparently only then can do it and they won’t do it over the phone.



—tg

[Drunk Monk]

My CRV is running fine, thank you.  But I've been thinking I like Subarus and I think I've found my next ride...

Subaru made a car called the Subaru FU*KS, and here’s how the name could have been even dirtier

• Casey Baseel3 days ago
  
• 2
  
  
  
  
  

A car that makes us think drivers should use protection, and we’re not talking about seat belts.

Subaru isn’t Japan’s biggest carmaker, but it’s carved out a clear niche for itself thanks to its rally racing and off-roading heritage. In its marketing, the company regularly reminds car buyers that Subarus like to play in the mud, slide on gravel, and simply just get dirty…and now that even extends to the name of its newest car.
At last weekend’s Singapore Motorshow, Subaru was showing off its newly redesigned Forester GT SUV, pictured above. But since the new Forester GT had already made its world debut a month earlier at the Taipei International Auto Show, Subaru wanted to give the Singapore show an extra-special Forester, and so it created the Forester Ultimate Customised Kit Special edition.
Long name, huh? But don’t worry, because Subaru Forester Ultimate Customised Kit Special makes for an easy-to-remember, hard-to-say-in-polite-conversation acronym: Subaru FUCKS.

[/url]laberge@labergee




The new Subaru Forester F.U.C.K.S edition is... something



16.8K
8:27 AM - Jan 9, 2020
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Granted, this wouldn’t be the first time for a Japanese company’s marketing team to be inadvertently sticking their foot in their filthy mouths. McDonald’s Japan is currently boasting about the Adult Cream Pies coming to the chain’s menu, and we still haven’t forgotten about Fukushima Corporation’s adorable mascot Fukuppy. There’s also the fact that the concept of profanity is often hard for native Japanese-speakers to grasp, which is why we’ve seen tourist-friendly signs warning that if you use a Japanese-style toilet incorrectly “you are gonna fall down on shit.”
But what makes the Subaru FUCKS very different is that it was created specifically for a car show in Singapore, a country where English is an official, widely spoken language. Also, notice that the car’s name is Subaru Forester Ultimate Customised Kit Special edition, with “edition” pointedly uncapitalized, meaning it should be left out of any acronym, and also that each of the capitalized letters printed on the floor in front of the car is in bold font, with FUCKS all but slapping you in the face. All that makes it a little harder to believe that the car’s name is just an innocent mistake.
The Forester Ultimate Customised Kit Special, which is currently a concept car, seems to be a cosmetically modified model, with no significant performance upgrades compared to the more chastely named Forester trim levels. Among its most eye-catching styling cues are the stripes that run from the sides of the hood up to the base of the A pillars and along the bottom of the side windows, which are in the shade of pink used by Subaru’s motorsports division, Subaru Tecnica International, also known as…

STI, a term that a lot of people also use to mean “sexually transmitted infection.”
So really, Subaru Singapore showed considerable restraint by not calling the car the Subaru FUCKS with STI, but should you ever had a chance to ride in it, you should probably get yourself tested afterwards.
Source: Gadget Tsuhin via Hachima Kiko, Autoblog
Top image: Subaru
Insert images: Wikipedia/718 Bot

[Drunk Monk]

I have named all my cars. I started it due to PPFY actually. He had that car he named Garuda back when we were young innocent fencers, and I thought that was so cool. So I did the same and always have.

My 1st car was Blondie, a yellow 4-door Chevy with barrel seats which were great for high school snogging. I took that car up to 125mph on 280 once because that's as high as the speedometer would go and you do dumb stuff like that when you're a teen. It had power, but it started getting really sketchy on me with intermittent problems eventually. 

My 2nd car was The Blue Meanie, a blue 4-door Toyota Corolla hatchback. It was 2nd hand, previously a rental. That car had so many issues. The driver door handle broke and my dad and I tried everything to fix it, combing junk yards, building sketchy makeshift devices. My dad eventually found the part but wouldn't buy it because he wanted to fix it. We had a huge fight over that but he eventually relented. That car also had Satan Station Stereo - a cassette player that would randomly play both sides of the tape simultaneously. I discovered that on 880 coming home from a Dead show and I thought I was having the worst flashback. I started mixing tapes specifically for SSS with one melodic and one percussive side. My car got robbed at MQ6. They stole my sleeping bag and nitekit. They tried to steal SSS but couldn't pry it loose and cut themselves on it. The blood stain was from the cassette tape dock. I crashed the Blue Meanie on the old MacArthur maze in Oakland. My dad tried to fix it, even bending out the frame with a jack, but it was done. 

My 3rd car was Shadow, a grey 4-door Toyota Corolla sedan. That was my sweetest ride - it had a moon roof and a killer stereo, and was fully loaded. It was a graduation gift from my grandfather. He made this loser's bet with me. That was a great car and served me well for so many years. I have fond memories of driving home from shows on warm summer nights, moon roof open, stereo blaring, and just loving the experience of driving. 

My 4th car was Bolt, the grey Prius 4-door sedan. It was the 2nd year that the model was available in the U.S. It was a status symbol to be on the cutting edge of new tech, but it was also a pain in the ass because I could only take it to the dealership back then and the nearest dealer was auto-nation, and they suck. I came close to geting into a legal battle with auto-nation (had a lawyer friend write an official nasty letter) and I was done with Toyotas.

My 5th car was unnamed. It was my dad's green 4-door Toyota Camry sedan, same car my mom still has. After his stroke, he had no need for it, and Bolt was having issues.  My dad's car didn't last long. I don't think we had it for more than a year, but I can't really remember it now. 

My 6th car was Caesar, a play on 'seisure' or 'fit' because it was a red Honda Fit, a 4-door hatchback. I love small hatchbacks and I loved that car for its size and mileage. Unfortunately, as mentioned at the beginning of this thread, Fits aren't built for hills, certainly not for HWY17. 

My 7th car is Darth, the black Toyota CRV. Darth is too big for me, but it's serving me well. It's safe and reliable.

[Dr. Ivor Yeti]

My last car was the Jeep. That was the car I always wanted, a Jeep Wrangler. It was The Flying Brick. After that I had Barbara’s car to use if I needed 4 wheels. That was a 1999 Acura Integra. I called it “The Pain Mobile” be cause it hurt my back to drive it.

Motorcycles: My first bike had no name as i was mostly distracted by my terror in getting it to move. After a year, I traded up for my only Euro Bike: a 650cc thumper from BMW made in Italy with an Austrian single cylinder motor. Otto von Skidmark was it’s name and I put over 30k miles on that bike. Took it to Canada and back. Great bike. Two more no-name bikes after that, one of which I actively disliked and it returned the favor with a pretty good crash.

Next up after getting the cast off of my wrist was The Blackbird, AKA: The Laser-Guided Rocket Scalpel. It was the classic Too Much Bike for me. a Honda CBR-1100 (The “R” stands for “Racing”) that had urban disguise in the form of side-cases and a top-box. The motor thrummed at such a low frequency that you felt it more than hear it. The year it was made it was the fastest production bike in the world. Regularly hitting 100 mph + on my morning commute, it was going to kill me. I got smart and let it go.

Next up was The Red Sled. Also a Honda, it was a CB-1000 (no “R”) 1992, a “Standard” (not a crotch-rocket like the CBR, and not my usual Dual-Sport/Sport-touring upright posture bikes). It had been used in the Mythbusters “Bikes and Bullets” episode. It was heavy and not quick. Perfect detox after having super-powers with the Blackbird. WIth no faring, the windblast would cushion my torso at freeway speeds. It was comfy. It was an old bike, though, and parts were getting difficult to get.

Both of my Hondas had been in-line 4 bikes. Those motors were powerful and had a great power-curve, not drop-off, just power in a lovely curve. The big V twins kind of go up, then down, then up again when accelerating at certain speeds. I really like the in-line 4 and wanted to stick with that motor.

The penultimate bike was The Black Beauty, a re-vamped Ninja-1000. Now more civilized, it was a sport-touring bike, nearly upright in posture. That motor was quick but smooth. I rode that bike for 3 years, 45k miles, and never laid it down. It was wearing out, though. Expensive repairs on motorcycles, unless you are a collector, are almost never worth it. Time for a brand new bike.

The current ride is a Versys-1000, same motor as the Ninja, but de-tuned to make it torquier in the low gears and strong, but not as much top-end speed. Very comfortable, very upright, which makes my wrists, elbows, shoulders happy. Getting near 30k on miles, already had one major repair, so a new bike is looking likely in the next couple years. Since I’m not commuting any more, the bike should last longer. Oddly, no name on this bike. It is a pretty comfy ride, kinda smooth and bland, but sometimes I need some go and it mostly delivers.

I debate getting a car, but parking in the city is an expensive hassle. Probably do one more bike after this, then hang it up. My reflexes ain’t what they used to be.

[Drunk Monk]

Great ride names! I didn't realize you've had so many bikes over the years, but that makes sense. 

Didn't you have a truck between Garuda and the Flying Brick? I have a memory of you getting a rifle rack for that, to hold a bokken.

[Greg]

Never mention the pickup with the yellow glow. That way lies evil.

[Drunk Monk]

That way lies evil.

I can resist anything except for temptation.

Obvs this is a story I missed, or just forgot.

[Greg]

It's best that you've forgotten.

[Dr. Ivor Yeti]

I have no idea what truck with the sickly yellow glow of The Damned G-Man is talking about. DM might recall it was the truck we drove cross-country in as Salle Nahmennehemen. Still, I deny it’s existence.

There was the 59 Chevy Impala that I had at the end of Daly City, beginning of SF. The car of DOOM was the Impala. DM, KB, and I all driving different decades of that brand

---

Also, I drove a Datsun B-210 that was the former ride of Jessica “Oscar for Best Documentary” Yu.

[Drunk Monk]

DM might recall it was the truck we drove cross-country in as Salle Nahmennehemen. 

Okay, now I remember. That memory was obsured by the words "U-HAUL. No, U fuckin HAUL" and someone setting off an ashtray-cracking firecracker right next to my head when trying to peacefull pass out after losing some KOA drinking game.   

Also, I drove a Datsun B-210 that was the former ride of Jessica “Oscar for Best Documentary” Yu.

Oooooh, best legacy ride story so far.  

I thought this might be fun for our SIP diversions...

[Greg]

Documentary short, goddamit.