my mom

[Greg]

About a year before my father passed.

That stumbling in the night upon waking for your mother gave me all sorts of flashbacks. My father fell twice in the two days before he died getting out of bed to go to the bathroom. We had to call the paramedics both times with the panic button. He was still groggy from his own pain and sleep medication.

The day he died, I joked that at least I didn't have to call the paramedics that day because I didn't hear him fall. Then I went up to wake him.....

[Drunk Monk]

harsh, bro

i didn't know you were the one to find your dad.  sorry if this is triggering old trauma but it does help me to hear your experiences.  

fortunately my mom is tiny.  less than 90 lbs now.  i can pick her up easily.

[Greg]

I'm good.

Yes, I'm the one who found my father. Although my mother was in the bed next to him. It was up to me to feel his cold stiff body and get her to call the paramedics.

[Drunk Monk]

That's rough. When I was young, very young, my dad discovered my cousin's body. He ODed. He was staying in SF and his brother's place.  We had all gathered there to go to a Chinese New Year banquet and we were waiting for him to come down. His brother and his wife hadn't seen him in a few days, so they all went in to check on him.  He'd been gone a few days.  That is my first memory of a body.  I actually didn't see it then.  I saw it later in an open casket funeral.  My parents didn't let me in - I was tasked to give out candy to people as they left - it's some Hakka Chinese ritual.  But I peeked, just to see. Since then, I've seen more bodies than I can count, at funerals (two open caskets just last year), a few through my event med work which is harsh given the concert context, plus I did cadaver studies in college.  But nothing like discovering my dad, or even a close relative or friend.  That's gotta stick with you, right?

The weekend went okay with my mom.  It was quiet and restful for her. She basically stayed in her room, even though she can now get out.  Sitting up aggravates her pain level.  She's fine when lying down.

I binged some TV, cleaned house some more, dealt with most of the junk in that was in the closet moved to the living room.  Found a ton of unopened golf balls.  These were gifts to my dad because he always asked for golf balls.  There were also buckets of used golf balls.  So many golf balls.  Like hundreds.  Also found a crazy catch of old slides of when my folks lived in Asia, and some old photos that looked super cool but I didn't really go through them that much. Found my dad's old camping equipment - freakin medieval.  I think I'm just going to dump them at some homeless encampment.  

It's another pretty full week of OT, PT & a doctor's appt that I got bumped up to this week.

[Greg]

Yep. It sticks. I can call it up at a moments notice.

[El Dingo]

I helped my mom move into her new 'almost-assisted-living' residence. My job was setting up her computer. She produced what ended up as two boxes of junk left by ISP installers.

I've had now a few encounters with seniors being exploited by internet scammers and it sickens me.

My mom was not a victim because she called me when unfamiliar stuff happened, but I'm setting up a new PC for a friend's mother who was locked out of her computer by a hacker.

We live in weird times.

[Drunk Monk]

Scammers hitting any seniors sickens me.  After my dad had his stroke, we were inundated with so-called medical providers.  Same thing is happening with my mom now.  I don't know how they find out.  They sound all professional, like their offering some service your insurance covers, but then they ask for your insurance, and if it was covered, they'd know that.  

I've taken over all calls for my mom, as well as her web presence (she had none, so that was easy, plus - thanks to KB - I'm set up as her medical proxy).  They still call at home.  

And the amount of junk mail my mom gets is insane.  Sheafs every day.  Letters with nickels, stickers, calendars, notepads, even socks, ditty bags, t-shirts sometimes.  So cray.  She likes to keep those personalized return address stickers (so do I) but I discovered a drawer full of them, like dozens and dozens of sheets.  

Vultures.  So many vultures.  Vultures will survive us all.  That's what they've evolved to do.

[Drunk Monk]

Just like Dante, we keep finding new levels of hell.

Today is a long-awaited exam by a physiatrist and x-rays. My mom’s pain levels are higher than ever having to go through all these tests. She’s been in elevated pain since the morning began. I don’t know how I’ll get her home...

---

There’s nothing like a genuine scream of pain. It’s not like in the movies. Especially when it’s your mom.

[Greg]

Ug.

To reiterate, ug.

[Drunk Monk]

That was so rough.  She's settled down now.  I had given her extra pain meds but they didn't help much.  

My cousin from Richmond is visiting.  He's retired.  She's enjoying his company.  

Tomorrow we get to do it again for an MRI.  Gotta leave work early but I'm working all weekend, so that won't matter.

[Drunk Monk]

MRI now. I sit in a weird private waiting room for 45 mins. I can kinda hear what’s going on in the MRI room. They got us straight in tho - no painful wait - for which I’m grateful. Plus she gets to lie down thru it.

The different between screams of pain in movies versus reality is with movies, the actor inhales just before to prepare. A real scream is more spontaneous even when that pain is anticipated. It’s sharper and surprised, like a deep paper cut. It’s reflex and elicits a visceral response in any sentient listener.

[Drunk Monk]

The MRI went okay.  My mom was only in pain when moving her about.  Hopefully they find something.

Unfortunately we forgot her glasses so I had to retrieve them.  

Tomorrow I get a bit of a break because of ... work! It's the Bezerkeley tournament so Stacy will watch my mom tomorrow night and I sleep in the hotel with Jr. Claw (FYI, Jonny has major apnea and usually sleeps with a CPAP).  I look forward to the time away with the Wulin.  Maybe I'll get challenged to a fight again if Sal is there...

[Greg]

CMAT!

I thought Sal was banned?

Good luck.

[Drunk Monk]

The thing about CMAT is that it's student run, meaning staff flips every couple of years.  No long term memory.  Anything could happen.

[Drunk Monk]

Random thought: The doc my mom saw on Thursday is the father of Maria Ferrari, one of the writers/producers of Big Bang Theory.  He had stills of her credits on the walls of his exam room.  I surfed over on some repeats last night and saw her credit again.

I actually got a decent night's sleep last night.  I'd almost forgotten how refreshing that can be.