my mom

[Greg]

Of course. I need to get into the Ansel Adams Wilderness, for one.

[Drunk Monk]

You can bring as much camera gear as you can carry. 
Just like Ansel.
But we should take this up on one of the Yosemite threads.

My mom can’t stand - too much pain. The new meds haven’t kicked in. She’s now worried that she’ll spend the rest of her life in a care center. As am I.

With my dad, we were never quite sure how much he understood. He’d have these moments when he seemed to get it, and realized perhaps where he was. My mom is fully aware of what is happening.

[The Queen]

It’s a pity you couldn’t see my expression when I heard that you wanted to include me on an invitation to go backpacking. It would have given you a big smile, I’m certain.

[Drunk Monk]

Looks like my mom will be released this Wednesday.  As of Friday, she still could not stand due to the pain.  I'll have to get a wheelchair, and get some ramps and banisters built in her home, plus set up additional care.  Assuming she does get released Wednesday, I'll be taking some time off to get her set up.  Fortunately, my schedule isn't slammed right now, so there's some leeway.  Things seem to change every moment though, so time will tell.

[Drunk Monk]

So now my Mom might be released on Friday - it depends on that dreaded American health factor: insurance.  On paper, her mobility is good, but her pain levels still won't let her stand.  If insurance decides to release her, and she has to go to the hospital again, they get pinged.  So it's really an insurance CYA.  She's not ready to leave.  She's still in a lot of pain, and her PT & OT is hampered by that.  She's got a pretty heavy opioid regimen, so there's discussion of a future x-ray to see if there's something additional going on.

She's getting some diathermy therapy now.  I'm staying here until that's done and then she'll leave to lunch.  I'll swing by her home to meet with a contractor that did work for us on our MacBeth house to get an appraisal and quote for ramps and rails.  I think we can get away with just 3 ramps up about 2 steps each.

[Drunk Monk]

My mom’s x-ray didn’t show anything. They are rescheduling a neuro exam (long unclear story why that must be rescheduled). She is of the mindset that if she is released, she wants to stay in a facility longer. I don’t know what’s happening Friday - I missed the social worker by 10 mins.

The contractor had a great suggestion to cut a door through a closet wall to avoid the landing steps. Much cheaper and easier.

I’ve been eating at the hospital cafeteria across the street. It’s decent and surprisingly inexpensive - $4 salmon burgers, not great but okay. And it’s quiet. No one bothers you. Plus there’s good WiFi and the toilets are really clean.

[Drunk Monk]

Presidents’ Day is mucking up this week’s schedule a bit. Not quite sure how it’ll play out but that’s just been the way it’s been. Mom’s doing better today. She managed to use her walker at pt yesterday for a foot or so. He earliest she’d be released now is Friday. 

I’ve managed to get a wheelchair and a walker from Rock Med and a good friend respectively. The debate now is where she might go if discharged - stay here out of pocket, go home or come to the Cruz.

She’s in good spirits watching golf and napping. During our rolls about the facility, one women pleaded for me to help her saying she was dying and another randomly burst into tears. Care homes are rough - reminds me of my Med courier days. This place was on my route.

[Dr. Ivor Yeti]

Weekends in general and 3-day ones in particular mess up hospital related plans. Wishing you and yours strength and luck.

[Drunk Monk]

My mom has been showing some improvement this week.  Her pain levels are lowered (her meds are upped) and she's making some small steps of progress.  She seemed a bit brighter even, although a little spacey due to all the oxy.  I've been sorting through insurance papers and other odd bills for her.  That's been a hassle but she has no online presence, so once I got her policy number, I was able to set up her insurance account online through my email.  Calling up all these places is a major snarl of phone trees and waiting on hold. 

Tomorrow is her weekly medical review (postponed from Tuesday because of Prez Day) plus a neuro check (postponed from last week because my mom got confused and denied it).  I'll spend the day with her on those.  Then insurance will review again.  I really hope they won't discharge her because she's not ready and with my office move next week, I really have to be there for that.  If she gets discharged, that'll be the universe fucking me super hard and rough.  I really don't know what I'll do - maybe she'll just have to stay and pay out of pocket.  

My cousin said he can help out next week.  Her next review, assuming she isn't discharged, will be next Tuesday, the office moving day, and I'll have to be in the office for that.  No one can move my crap but me.  But that's next week and we're in day-to-day mode.  It's been that way ever since this started, and I'm getting really frustrated by it.

There's these really horrid painting decorating the hallways, mostly of Paris.  I find them amusing because I doubt the artist ever saw Paris.  There's one of the Moulin Rouge where Moulin is spelled Mouiln.  I know it doesn't look like that at all - that street was sleaze central and a major lowpoint of our stay there.  There's also one of Notre Dame in front of Eiffel which totally doesn't work because those places aren't in eyeshot of each other, plus one of the Arc de Triomphe (that one isn't so bad).  They do make me happy though because they bring back fond memories of last year's trip.  Things were so wonderful then and I'll savor those memories for the rest of my life.  

Fingers crossed for tomorrow.

[The Queen]

Hoping for the best for you!

[King Bob]

Those paintings are probably from a Chinese art factory. There was a good article about that in the New Yorker a few years ago.

DM- Possibly giving you advice you don't need or have done already, but if not, get her to sign the PAMF form that makes you her healthcare proxy. It makes dealing with them a little easier. Also consider having a lawyer prepare medical and financial powers of attorney so you can handle her affairs if she's in the hospital or later becomes incapable. She can also just add you as a signer on her checking account so you can pay bills.

[Drunk Monk]

Looks like she’ll be released on Sunday.

FML

Good advice on the healthcare proxy form. I’ll get right on that. I already have power of attorney set up.

A footnote: Stacy had a gall reaction and was up all night throwing up. I’ve had so little sleep...

[Greg]

Sleep is for the weak.

[Drunk Monk]

Sleep is for the weak.

That was my motto when I was a deadhead. I'm still a deadhead, but I don't do the sort of drugs that allowed me to subscribe to that strategy anymore.  It's just caffeine - top shelf tea, good coffee, and this little caffeinated M&M things I found at Whole Foods. Been popping way to many of those lately.  

I'm actually getting the downtime.  It's just that I lie awake, tweaking on all the crap I must take care of next.  Did I mention that I fell asleep at a stoplight last week.  That was bad.  

So I spent today going back and forth between the nursing home, El Camino, and PAMF.  As it turns out, they don't share records unless you request them.  My mom had her review at the nursing home and the doc is going to try titrate her oxy, which is good because it's making her constipated and loopy. They also said time is up and she's discharging Sunday as she's already been there a week longer than initially scheduled. I accompanied her to a neuro appt at PAMF and the PA was shocked at how high her oxy script was.  She's recommending another appt asap to get her set up with a cortisone shot. That'll have to be next week, after the office move, like Wednesday or later, because I need to accompany her.  Then I went back and forth to get some records transferred - forms, signatures, etc. but that got done thankfully.  Also I picked up the PAMF proxy forms - thanks again for that advice KB. No one had clued me into that in this process.  I've got one lead on a caregiver.  

Tomorrow I will telecommute and pick up all the gear for my mom's house - bed & toilet rails and a wheelchair ramp.  I have a wheelchair and walker already.  Saturday I'm taking for me - Stacy gifted me a massage and tub for Valentines, plus we have symphony tix.  Sunday, it's getting my mom home.  Monday and Tuesday I'm sorting out coverage so I can be at work.  That's as far out as I can think without imploding.  

Stacy is still very sick. She's been resting, although she had me pick up some coffee before withdrawal hits.  I went by Verve.  They asked how I was doing, and I said Stacy was sick, my office is moving and my mom is in the hospital.  They said how much they loved Stacy (she's a daily regular) and comped her single origin cap with well wishes for a quick recovery.  That little bit of kindness really touched me and I'm getting misty just thinking about it.

After Sunday I may be living in S'vale for some time.  That really saddens me.  I'll miss my ocean air so much.  But who knows when my mom might be able to spend a night alone again?

[Drunk Monk]

That moment when things get really fuzzy and then you realize - Holy Cats I haven’t eaten all day.