My job is really weird sometimes...

[Drunk Monk]

I've caught a lot of 2nd hand moxa smoke here, but I try to reserve what's left of my tattered lungs to smoke that counts. mt033

[Drunk Monk]

This actually happened a few weeks ago, but I was asked to MC a big open tournament at the Santa Clara Convention Center. My boss told me to suit and tie it, which I actually enjoy since I have a decent collection of Jerry Garcia ties that I seldom get to wear (and much to my chagrin, not a single person noticed my tie). Of course, given my present lion mane and diabolic goatee, if I suit up, I look like a HK gangster (that Hong Kong, not Haggis Killer, don't let it go to your head, you unemployed bum you). "This is exacerbated by the fact that I wear a black shirt, sports jacket and slacks. No tux I'm afraid (sorry queen) just a black suit and a psychedelic Jerry tie.

Anyway, I thought my responsibilities were over with the opening ceremonies, but things were so chaotic, they finally gave me a remote mic to do whatever I pleased with. It was great fun. I discovered that I could make these Hendrixian feedbacks if I pointed the mic at a speaker. Mostly, I was annoucing who was on deck and at what ring, but on the last syllable, I could drop into my baritone voice and hold it like a reggae dub effect, then as the note faded, turn the mic towards the feedback generator and get these really funny sounds. People were pretty engaged with the competition, so just as they'd turn their heads sideways like puppies hearing weird sounds, I'd cut the mic. No one every caught on.

I'm always happy when I can add to the surreality of some one else's experience.

[The Queen]

No tux I'm afraid (sorry queen) just a black suit and a psychedelic Jerry tie.

I still want a picture. See if it comes close to the dream.

[Drunk Monk]

I'm not sure that anyone took a pic of me that day. Actually, that's not true - I was asked to pose with several competitor kids by their obsessive stage parents, but I didn't make a mental note of who they were. If one turns up, I'll send it along...

[El Dingo]

Hey DM. do you ever pretend you barely speak English, or affect a fierce Fu-Manchu accent at these things?

"Your son shows gleat plomise! He fries like eagle! Stlikes rike snake! With ploper crothing and equipment flom our website, he will go far!"

[Drunk Monk]

Funny you should mention that ED. I'm crappy at faking accents. I can do some Monty Pythonesque stuff, and a decent Jamaican patois, but I can't for the life of me do a decent Chinese accent. It's embarrassing, really.

But back OT, this guy who has been posing as a Shaolin monk came by the office the other day with Shin Kobasomethingjapanese. He starred in Last Samurai (Shin, not the monk poseur). As a welcoming gift, the monk gave me this cheap ass bowie knife. It was something you'd buy at a flea market, with a colored wood handle that was set with nuts and screws, no where near flush, into a stainless steel hunk of metal with jags on the back and weird holes punched into the blade. We actually have an e-zine article coming on Shin (and don't beleive IMDB - no way is he 5'9", more like 5'5"). Shin wanted to be on the cover, of course. It was weird and never have I been so underwhelmed by a movie star. When they left, I sold the knife to our senior graphic artist for a penny. He wants to use it to open beer bottles and I warned him not to cut himself.

[Haggis Killer]

Can I come by your office posing as a Monk? How about a Monk Fish? Or a Monkee?

[Drunk Monk]

We were hoping to come by your office, back when you had one. But seriously, if you ever want to see a chaotic warehouse and visit your old neighborhood, come on by! I can even get you in the mag.
http://ezine.kungfumagazine.com/forum/sh...hp?t=41273

[Drunk Monk]

..being the only martial artist here, guess who was asked to test them? I managed to break the hardest one after a few tries, despite never really training breaking that seriously. Nevertheless, guess who has a big ol' bruise on his knuckle now?

[Greg_phpbb3_import1]

But I'll try anyway.

The front of the T-shirt says agriculture and has picture of a very distinctive leaf product. The back has this written "If you see the police, Warn a Brother". It's written across a very distinctive logo from a major motion picture studio. The initials are WB.

In a completely unrelated story, about five years ago a large number of laborers including the the man in charge of the laborer department were arrested for selling drugs at Warner Brothers and for large thefts on the lot.

Why, yes, a laborer was wearing the T-shirt.

Sorry, no moxa.

[Drunk Monk]

Here's MCDM (far right) along with DM's bosses and some famous masters. GM 'iron crotch' Tu is kneeling on the left.

[Greg_phpbb3_import1]

So, much competition. So little time to plan a retaliatory strike. Maybe I should have fixed the pipe leaking sewage into the cellar until after you visit. (If visit you may)

[Drunk Monk]

...you wouldn't last an hour on MySpace. Of course, such is the burden of our generation with the present gen. I can't last an hour there either. It's very distracting.

[Greg_phpbb3_import1]

You mentioned to the Queen about a potential visit in September. I subtly hinted about your upcoming visit in the previous post to see if I could get more details. You responded by castigating my aspersions to be the next Tila Tequila on myspace, ignoring the hint for more visit info.

It comes to this: Are you visiting or not? Rampant sewage spill may be included.

[Drunk Monk]

It's highly likely that we will be passing through on the way to D-land again and would be most grateful for some lodgings on route to defray the ton of money that we're going to have to cough up to the mouse. We're still nailing down the details though. We're tentatively planning to leave here Wednesday evening (Sep 6) and hopefully stay at your sewage-free manor that night, and then press on in the morn. It'll be hit and run fun. Not sure about our return journey yet since we're still debating whether one day or two will be adequate, and if one, what might be done with the following day. Stay tuned. More to come.