Back on my birthday (11/21/2014), Lady Cranefly and I got up early, jumped in the car, and headed north. Fifteen hours later we reached East Wenatchee, Washington, which is almost exactly dead center in the state. East Wenatchee and Wenatchee are
split by the Columbia River. Our destination was J and T’s place, T being Lady Cranefly’s sister, J being the husband.
We of course took
Halvah along. She entertained herself watching the local fowl, both
domestic and
wild. And by terrorizing
Felix, the feline resident who is three times bigger.
LC’s sister T grows
gourds for artwork. Lots of
gourds. So many
gourds. There are many recreational pursuits available in the area. I did not partake of
this one.
Just when we were settling in and things seemed to be going so well, J took me aside and informed me of “a situation” that seems to crop up without fail anymore when I visit friends. I refer to the “body in the garage” problem. The worst is when the body is in the neighbor’s garage -- but let’s not dredge up that distant memory right now. J took me out to have
a look. Then we set to work. I regret that it gets easier each time. There’s an art to dismemberment. The joints are more complicated than you might think; they’re like jigsaw puzzles. One must seek out with the blade the lay of the bone and the placement of the ligaments. Once you’ve solved it,
dismemberment happens. We worked at it a couple hours, then
washed up and took a break.
LC and I went for a walk along the Columbia River, less than a mile away. We saw
ducks and a swan. And
ducks and geese. Lots of
geese. We crossed a
pedestrian bridge from East Wenatchee to Wenatchee. Pedestrians share the bridge with a very large pipe carrying water from parts unknown. Legend has it that the pipe once sprung a leak, and a courageous boy plugged it with his thumb for a couple years. Finally the civil engineers
rigged a patch. There’s water everywhere in the region, with frequent proclamations of the benefits of hydro power. We passed by a park dedicated to
Upside-Down Pangborn, a famous aviator of the region. On our 7-mile walk we kept coming across articles of clothing. First there were the
boots. Then the
jacket. Then the
gloves. They were all high quality. Days later, after a snowfall, we went for a short walk and noted that
the boots were still there. We wondered if maybe they were shooting an episode of Naked and Afraid up here.
The region has a problem with uncaring artists who are always littering in the parks. We came across some of their refuse:
an octopus,
a bear,
a coyote with some salmon,
a foot,
a face,
a whale.
We crossed a
bridge over the Wenatchee River at its point of confluence with the Columbia River. All in all, we walked some 7 miles.
Soon after getting back, LC and T discovered our grisly little secret. As it turned out, they were only too willing to help with disposal. Sausage was their idea. It turns out that sausage needs fat for its flavoring, and the problem with venison is that its fat is unsavory. So you need to trim it off and discard it, along with “silver skin” and tendons. To compensate, you buy pork with lots of fat, and mix it all in. While J and I
cut and trimmed the meat, the ladies did
the grinding. A body has
lots of meat. You don’t grind everything up. Some of it you use for
meals right away. Oh, here’s
a trophy. You
mix all sorts of spices into the ground meat. Oh, and to make sausage, you’re going to need a few miles of
pig intestine. Next comes the
sausage_stuffer. It works like filling a balloon with helium, only here you’re using
ground meat. The result looks something
like this, prior to putting in the smoker. Yes, of course you’ll want to smoke it.
After a
snowstorm, we introduced Halvah to
a different state of water, then decided to take a day-trip northward. We passed by the
Chief Joseph Dam, which is the last dam with a salmon ladder (the Grand Coulee Dam further north stops them). We noticed leaks in its
housing. But that’s not flowing water; it’s stalactites -- water frozen while in motion. We passed through some rugged land with
scenic vistas. The fields were littered with huge boulders. Unfortunately, I lost my camera in the car at this time and only much later found it. On an Indian reservation there is a famous balancing rock, but no one can visit it without escort, thus this
one long shot (Indians can be so bloody untrusting). We climbed in altitude while approaching the Canadian border and spotted several large mule deer (as opposed to whitetail). The temperature dropped to
zero degrees. Soon we were traveling a road edged by a barbed wire fence that was the border. It’s against the law to step over, and patrols go by at regular intervals. Our cell phones went off with sleazy Canadian text messages -- predatory firms ready to hit us with huge roaming charges. We passed by
the house of a good friend of T and J’s living maybe a mile from the border. She’s a bit eccentric in a socially conscious sort of way. Another friend in the tiny settlement has a nice
truck collection.
Finally we returned to East Wenatchee for a
well-deserved rest.
I'm nobody's pony.