Yosemite 2021

[Greg]

After four days of preparatory walking with my backpack, my pack smells like the inside of a Vandal Raiding Parties locker room

[Drunk Monk]

my pack smells like the inside of a Vandal Raiding Parties locker room

Bears luv that smell.

[Drunk Monk]

The Dee-em-Dee-em-tee-em was prophecy. I thought I was going to die on the first two days. Brutal ascents under brutal sun in full pack and I’m so feckin out of shape, plus my Rx changed just prior to the pandemic and that plus the altitude was making my head spin. Greg nearly had to make that travois.

But then Greg and I became bear brothers - NOT SF bears, Yeti. Real Cali bears. 

Then there was the quake and the mighty stag.

Driving home now... more to come...

[Drunk Monk]

Home safe after an exhausting incredible journey. Yuki & Bottles has a grand time with the bungalow to themselves. Yak cheese & dog toys are everywhere and they’ve been wrestling and submitting each other in the cutest way. We were all so excited to be reunited. Yuki leapt up to give me a kiss and bashed my nose super hard with his snout.

We all had our ecstatic showers, had grabbed dinner on the road, watched  Loki & Owl House while Tara & Bri did some laundry, and tucked into bed. They plan to hit the road tomorrow around 9 but we’re all on a ride at Dawn schedule so we’ll see how it goes. Alex is staying over too since his home is on their way out. He wanted to watch Loki too. This is the most guests we've ever had at the bungalow - 3 people & 1 dog.

My bed feels good. No mosquitoes is a relief, but I already miss the stars and nocturnal creatures serenades.

[Greg]

Where did you find the energy to post anything after the successful conclusion to the DM DM™? After luxuriating in the shower and continuing to stuff my piehole, I zoned out on the couch watching the news and some Giants Baseball.

Report to come.

The answer to the question "Did you see a bear?" is no. We saw two.

[Drunk Monk]

Just got up to pee. I was relieved to not be eaten by mosquitoes while hovering over a freshly dug cathole, but my lord - I am sore.

[Greg]

I'm not sore, but I'm really tired. And I keep eating. And eating. And eating.

[Drunk Monk]

Feeling better. Some stretching, Kung Fu & an epsom salt bath did wonders. Lotioned up after the bath (when you marry a massage therapist, there’s lots of great lotions) so no sunburn issues. 

The only bite that’s bothersome is the first one - that ant bite I got on the top of my foot that I was caring for all the way through because it was my foot.

[Greg]

Still gathering my thoughts for the full report. I was a little stiff on the morning dog walk, shortened version. I'm also not feeling quite right. The head is a little wonky like it's not getting enough of something but I'm not sure of what. It could be a reaction to all the crap I ate yesterday, non-stop.

[Drunk Monk]

Still stiff and dehydrated but not experiencing those dizzy spells. The agony is fading and the magic moments remain.

Here’s Stacy’s original plan (which we sort of stuck with):

Fourth of July
Arrive at the Hetch Hetchy Backpacker's camp, maybe do a warm up day hike to Smith Peak?  It's only 13 miles  (ha ha).  

Day 1  -- July 5th
Start journey at 9am from the O'Shaughnessy Dam (3815ft)  
Hike 6.3 miles to Rancheria Falls (4640ft)

Day 2 -- July 6th
Uphill 3.5 miles to the Tiltill Creek crossing (5500ft)

Day 3 --  July 7th
Go 6.5 miles to Lake Vernon (6568ft)

Day 4 -- July 8th
Hike 4.5 miles to Laurel Lake (6490ft), may add an extra mile to hike around lake

Day 5 -- July 9th  -- back to O'Shaughnessy Dam  (3815ft) and drive home
Option #1 -- 7.4 miles mostly downhill on busy trail
Option #2 -- 10.3 miles, possibly more scenic, fewer people

We arrived at the backpackers camp without incident and secured the awesome Group B site. Of the 20 or so sites, only 3 were occupied. You’re only permitted to be in the BP camp for one day while entering or exiting the trail. They lock down Hetch Hetchy from 5pm - 8am, so we had the entire dam completely to ourselves. 

It was in the high 90s with no rain in sight. We dropped out warmies and rain gear (although regrettably I did keep my thermals just to add to my burden).

Our squad was Stacy, Tara, Alex (T’s high school pal who we introduced to backpacking and has joined is for several trips since), Bri (T’s apt mate for the last two years and who she’ll be moving to SF with - this was her first backpacking trip and her first camping trip was the weekend prior - one night at Joshua Tree).

Greg joined us the next morning, arriving right on time as I knew he would. He drove up just as T&I were at the parking lot dropping some stuff off at Darth CRV. Perfect timing. At my request, Greg let me borrow his iPhone charger (no reception at all but that’s my camera nowadays) - I never used it. It just added to my burden more. Kinda wish I could blame Greg for that but the fault was entirely my own.

I moved my hand sanitizer to the bear box instead of leaving it in the car. There was a report of a mom & 3 cubs at Vernon and lots of bears and rattlesnakes. 

We crossed the dam and headed up to Wapama Falls with lots of tourists. Once we cleared the Falls, it was only backpackers - few and far between.

[Drunk Monk]

Still dehydrated - wicked cotton mouth - and still a tad bit sore but recovering. Those aches are fading quickly as I return to the mundane world.

The hike to Rancheria was harsh. It started out fine but that heat - 90s+ and the grunt up granite roughly hewn stairs (granite is reflective and just exacerbates the heat) was a killer. Both Greg and I were seriously considering turning around. 

Rancheria was okay - a backpackers' camp and there were several others nearby - one dude who plopped his tent right on the trail to access the water. I only saw the falls from a distance. 

I didn't care to hike anymore. I was seriously hurting and dealing with a lot of dizziness. My medication changed just prior to the pandemic. It makes me lightheaded when I stand up quickly. Now it was making me lightheaded after a dozen steps or so. Plus I was cramping, despite the massive infusion of powdered electrolytes. 

The hike to Tiltill was the shortest and the worst for me.

[Drunk Monk]

The Haikus, they call you.

Or should it be High-kus?

Hiking Haiku

Hike backcountry trails
Rest by tiny wildflowers
Who else has seen them?
 
Hike backcountry trails
Another goddamn switchback
Special place in hell
 
Hike backcountry trails
Filtering fresh creek water
Best drink in the world

Hike backcountry trails
Mosquitoes outside the tent
Stay out bloodsuckers
 
Hike backcountry trails
Jets roar high above the creek
But the birds sing on
 
Hike backcountry trails
Bugs snuck in the tent somehow
I have slain them all
 
Hike backcountry trails
Tonight is mac & cheese night
Yay for mac & cheese!

[Greg]

By making my life easier, I made my backpack heavier. That’s what I know.

On the last backpacking trip, my big DSLR spent most of the trip in the backpack. The majority of the photos came from little Sony camera I have. The Sony is a 20mp camera so there is some quality. I just felt that Yosemite deserved my best camera. To that end, I bought a chest harness that would the camera in front of me without dragging at my neck for the hikes. This meant I would be wearing the camera harness under my backpack straps. I still brought the little Sony as a backup. The Sony fits nicely in a pouch on my backpack belt. Bringing two cameras requires I also bring two sets of extra batteries. I brought the battery in the camera and a spare. Because I’m neurotic, I brought a spare for the spare. Something could happen!

I also opted to wear my Apple Watch. I found a program to put the routes we hiked directly on the watch. I could use these tiny maps to see exactly where we were. But, this program sucked the watch battery dry faster than I could empty a Nalgene bottle on an uphill hike. I needed to bring a battery pack to recharge.

If I was going to bring a Camera, I might as well bring a tripod, too. Or at least something small to hold the camera stable during long exposure shots if I decided to stay up late and film the MilkWay. To that end, I acquired a device called a Platypod. The Platypod is a small aluminum plate to which you can attach a tripod head. The Platypod also has little adjustable feet so you can level the Platypod. Basically, I added two big hunks of metal into my pack.

I also continued my deviation from healthy living by gaining more weight since last I hiked. I did put in a few extra hikes with a pack on before the trip, but I soon realized that four hikes with a partially filled pack really doesn’t make you trail ready.

In summary, I headed out with an overweight pack and out of shape body. What could go wrong?

Day 1 The Hike to Rancherita Falls

6.88 Miles
1234’ Climb
738’ Descend

I left the house at 5:30 for the approximately 3 hour drive to the Hetch Hetchy. Troop Leader Stacy wanted to head out by 9am. I figured I would get there by 8:30 to avoid any worry or problems. I had lovely drive through the Sierra Foothills. I was able to see Mariposa again as well as the small town of Coulterville as I cruised up Highway 49, the Golden Chain Highway.

Google Maps decided the shortest way to Hetch Hetchy was not to take 120 but to make a turn on Cherry Road and head for the Forest Service Roads. After much consternation during the drive, including one instruction to turn up a dirt road, I made it to the locked gate barring entrance into Hetch Hetchy.

Turns out, you can only enter this section of the park between 8am and 5pm. It was 7:50 when I pulled up. I used the wait time to lather up with suntan lotion and DEET mosquito repellent. During the application I was quickly reminded not to get any DEET on my lips. It feels like tasting Cancer.

The sign on the gate also made me aware that we needed to get back to our cars by 4pm so we could get out of the park. The thought of being locked in the park for another night gave me the willys.

The Park Ranger opened the gate promptly at 8am. After another ten mile drive, I pulled into the parking lot for overnight stays. The only amusing part of the drive was passing a sing for Poopenaut Valley. You might have to have an inner 12 year old to laugh at that sign. I bumped into DM right at the Backpacker’s campground.

The hike to Rancheria Falls wasn’t supposed to be that bad. The hike was a shade under seven miles, but it was mostly flat. At least that’s what I thought. I have thought wrong in the past. I will think wrong again in the future. Thinking wrong is my calling card at this point.

Our party consisted of six people; three olds and three youngs. Although the way Mrs. DM hikes, I think she identifies as young. The three youngsters, all in their twenties were DM’s cub and her two friends. All three would be sharing the same tent despite the fact one had male bits.

In my defense, the trail was mostly flat all the to Wapama Falls. The Queen and I had done this bit before. It’s almost a leisurely stroll on a very nice wide trail. There were dozens of people day hiking to the falls with us. Day Hikers walked right by me multiple times. One woman smelled like she just stepped out of the shower. Ah, cleanliness. Another feature of the trail were the giants blooms of poison oak. The red plant was everywhere. I noticed a couple had stepped off the trail into a giant patch of the stuff. I warned them where they were standing but I don’t think they understood the gravity of their situation.

Our hike did start promptly at nine, which coincidentally was also when the temperature also started to seriously climb. The Rancheria Trail is exposed for most of it’s length and there isn’t a lot places to hide. Plus, you get a lot of kick from the granite walls and trails. Finally, according to the weather reports, temperatures would rise all week to well over 100º in the lower elevations. I hoped they would be cooler up in the mountains.

The trip to Wapama Falls wasn’t horribly exhausting. It would have been a good place to stop and take a break. But the day hikers had beaten us to all the shady spots by the time we got there. I envied the people bathing in the pools below the bridge, wishing I could be down there with them.

After the group left the bridge at the base of Wapama, the trail changed. No more flat hiking for us. It trended up hill without a lot of cover. I found myself resting in any shady spot I could find. Water was a problem. Back at the trailhead, I should have drunk as much as I could. But I had the heady confidence of the ignorant and felt my two full bottles was plenty. During the hike my mouth became so dry my tongue stick to the roof of my mouth.

The troop stopped at Tiltill Creek, which was the only water between Wapama and Rancheria. Tomorrow, if I made it, I would get to see the top of Tiltill Creek. The youngsters were kind of enough to run the water through the water filters while I collapsed in a sweaty pile.

The trail continued to trend uphill after our break. I continued to get hotter and tireder. DM opted to hang at the back of the group with me in case something terrible happened. The jokes about building a travois to haul me back to the trailhead became less funny. The words of doubt started to fill my head. I was trying to do the math about quitting and hiking back to the car. I was deep at the bottom of a the misery well.

Like a miracle, the trail then sloped downward. The relief was immediate, but short lived. Our descent only lasted for a little bit. We turned a bend and the trail climbed once more. Mother Fucker.

Sweaty and exhausted, I finally caught up to DM and Mrs. DM in a grove of trees. Packs were off and they were waiting while the Younglings headed out to find a campsite for the night. Mrs. DM asked me where I would like to camp and I just looked down at my feet, indicating I had moved enough for one day.

Eventually, the Younglings returned after having found a suitable spot. The campsite was closer to the river and there was some shade. It was bit tricky at first navigating our way from our camp to the river. Another group had plopped down between us and the river with one person setting up his tent directly on the trail. But we sorted things.

Dinner for me consisted of a lovely freeze dried concoction of Biscuits and Gravy. I just had to add boiling water. We did do a lot of filling up of water bottles at the creek and as well as rinsing off the grime from the hike.

Bets were placed as which one of us snored the loudest. I do know that I didn’t fall asleep until very late despite my exhaustion. I spent time reading my Kindle. Yes, among other things, I brought my electronic book to the wilderness.

Ultimately, I made the decision to hike on rather than head back to the car in the morning.

[Drunk Monk]

Ultimately, I made the decision to hike on rather than head back to the car in the morning.

This was the ______ decision Greg made.

A DOOMadLib.

[Greg]

Thanks!

California Corn Lilly!