my mom

[Drunk Monk]

Ramp, bed & toilet rails installed. Guest room prepared. I pick her up after lunch. Once again, I am a caretaker, only this time, I’m the primary.

It’ll be good to get her home.

[Drunk Monk]

Well she’s home, bound to the guest room & bathroom due to the dumb architecture of this house. I’ve moved back in for now and got coverage thru Thursday. Actually Thursday is my birthday and I’ll take a sick day to take her to some appointments. I’m beholden to Stacy, my cousin and a neighbor, but at least I’m free for the office move. The medical system keeps scrambling dates and appointments - it’s as if they think no one else works.

[Dr. Ivor Yeti]

Glad she is home. Hoping she continues to mend.

[Greg]

Is she with you in the Cruz or did you fix up S-Vale? Either way, sei brav!

[Drunk Monk]

I’ve moved back to svale. She has too many medical appts in the area and she’s too fragile to get over hwy17.

Svale is already suffocating me.

[Dr. Ivor Yeti]

You can go home again, but only if it is temporary.

[Drunk Monk]

Last night went okay.  My mom managed the bathroom and such on her own.  She's still trapped by the architecture though - confined to the guest room and bathroom.  It occurred to me that even if I knock down that wall to get her access to the kitchen and den, she won't be able to answer the door.  Fuckin dumb svale suburban house. 

Didn't sleep to well again.  So many axes in the air, and I didn't chuck a single one of them up there.  

Stacy is on watch now.  The LVN is supposed to visit today, moved from yesterday. The constant healthcare shuffle is maddening.

[Drunk Monk]

Those paintings are probably from a Chinese art factory. There was a good article about that in the New Yorker a few years ago.

Hey, that was a great article. Thanks for sharing.

Well, I got wifi up at my mom's.  That'll be a blessing work-wise.  

Her pain meds are giving out though and she's suffering horribly at maxxed dosage.  I can't get her into the doc until Thursday because of work obligations.  That's such a mess.  An LVN came by today and Stacy got a few things sorted out.   I need to figure out home care but I just haven't had the bandwidth with work.

[Drunk Monk]

Strange to discover how much stuff my mom has horded away - canned goods, frozen food, utensils, towels. some really odd things. There’s a case of beer that must’ve been my dad’s... which would make it over a decade and a half old, cheap canned beer.  

This weekend I’ll clean...if I have anything left.

[Drunk Monk]

Today is appt day. 2@PAMF. 1 down. Went okay. The next one is with a spine specialist so it’s more critical. My mom didn’t remember it was my birthday until we were filling out forms. It’s the opioids. So frustrating.

Got the proxy set up. Great advice kB - many thanks. No one tells you about that. Everyone reacts by mansplaining (it that term is fair game for me) - usually dumb advice because they do tn really know crap - they just hope to appear smart, ya know?

[King Bob]

Got the proxy set up. Great advice kB - many thanks.

To the rescue, here I am...

I found that you don't really need it in person, but it helps on the phone. And you can create a login to manage her account online.

[Drunk Monk]

Nobody even mentioned proxy.  No one.  You'd think proxy would be a key concept for some doctor or social worker to bring up, especially when the patient is so narcotized with opiates she can't think straight.  

Today was hard. Two appointments - her primary care physician and a spine specialist.  There was thought of a cortisone injection, but cort inhibits bone growth and healing, which is exactly what her vertebrae needs to do. So that was a dumb thought.  I actually knew this.  Back when cortisone was first introduced, I used it on some massive mosquito bites I got during one of my Hawaii visits as a child.  I was bathing in it because I had like 4 dozen bites.  Then the bone growth inhibition issue emerged and it was pulled off the market, and a much lower dose version was offered.  I remember reading about that and thinking, 'well, crap. damage done.'

My mom is now in quite severe pain from exhaustion and all the poking and prodding.  I can hear her wincing and gasping from it, but I don't want to engage because she'll ask me for pain meds, and she's at her max dose already.  

It's harsh. 

Happy birthday to me.

---

I remembered she hadn't refreshed her lidocaine patch, so I went to get one to help alleviate the stress caused by today's appts.  In the time between telling her we would redo the patch and me getting it, she fell asleep.  That's a good thing.  A great thing actually.  I'm trying to reduce her meds as much as possible and it's always best to sleep it off.

I think I'll open Stacy's gift next.  Tara sent one too, but to the bungalow.  Stacy will bring it to me tomorrow.  I'm going to pour myself a shot of my dad's dwindling cache of JD, which I only drink in his honor, and wish myself a happy birthday.

[El Dingo]

We are sharing this experience.

My mother is moving from her Rossmoor condo to an assisted living facility.

The difference is that I told her straight out that I'm not a nurse and she has to do it on her own.

This may seem cold but I am cold. She never had to care for her parents and does not realize every second she takes from me she takes from my limited life. I will not spend the remainder of my life caring for someone.

If I cannot care for myself it's time for sleeping pills and scotch.

[Drunk Monk]

Sorry to hear that. Can she do it on her own? Will your sister help?

[lady_cranefly]

Don't forget Cranefly and I are very close to the Hell Mouth. If you need something but can't leave your mom, just give us a yell. 

LCF