I'm more broken than you

[Drunk Monk]

It's my spin-off of your dogshit-Chinese-medicine OD story. I just had to one up you. Well, sort of.

[Greg_phpbb3_import1]

I'm probably going to jinx myself, but I've never broken a bone. Sure, I've sprained the odd knee and wrist, but no breaks. I even bounced a 16d nail off a knuckle, but not break. (It might have been broken, I never went in to find out)

Surgeries:
There's the one . . . . That required a lot sutures, too. Very sharp sutures that cut me.
I had the lump removed from head. Even after the doctor asked me why I wanted the lump removed.
I had this cut over heal on my face and turn into this lump I called mike. This doctor told me I needed to remove it immediately.

Stitches:
There are the two on my tongure where I bit through as a child. Never race around the house.
There are the three on the chin from when I jumped into a chair. My sister asked me to jump into a pillow. Then she dropped the pillow. Good thing that chair was there to stop me.

I was a cut and scrape man. I have major scarring on the knees from repeated falls to my knees. One time I did both the tops of my feet and both knees as I slipped in the street without shoes on. Never play tag in the street without shoes.


You people need to be more careful.

[El Dingo]

My only physical trauma was having 2 fingernails ripped out. I was standing with my hand on a doorframe when someone closed the door.

I screamed and looked around for an interrogator so I could confess to being a witch.

[Dr. Ivor Yeti]

...the parry four, riposte with disengagement. I hated it then, I hate it now. Really, it was the strip being something like a foot from the wall, and every time i made a parry of four, my damn point would hit the wall before it would hit HK, showing the off-target instead of the really hard-earned point that I needed to get. I am pretty sure you were hugging that side of the strip (I know i would have!) you bastard! It was the third white light on my riposte to the wall that made me (and, subsequently, my fifth metacarpal on my left hand) snap.

I felt it give when I hit the wall and the thought of breaking my hand AND taking silver motivated me to finally drive a steak through HK's black heart and win. My only victory over HK in competition, methinks.

[cranefly]

http://garywshockley.com/scar/pages/scar.htm

[Dr. Ivor Yeti]

That was a touching tale of true friendship and random, senseless violence all wrapped-up in a classic "coming-of-age" story. Get me Spielberg on the phone!

[Greg_phpbb3_import1]

"I also met someone there of high integrity and intelligence and of a profoundly spiritual nature who sows the seeds of kindness wherever he goes. I’m referring of course to DM."

Do we know somebody else that goes by those initials?

[Drunk Monk]

That's got to be the oddest flashback I've experienced yet. Thank you cranefly. DM's massive ego will absolutely have to forward that to everyone who knows him as DM. The grapefruit testical story shrivels by comparison. bon touche, mon ami.

[cranefly]

You know, all I wanted to do was post a couple photos.
But damned if I could find them. I looked through albums. I looked through drawers full of scattered photos. I looked through boxes jam-packed with photos. I did eventually find them.

But in the process I came across an awful lot of Drunk Monk photos.

Slowly, over a period of two weeks, long-suppressed memories came back. Three days ago, Lady Cranefly came home from work and found me crouched in a corner, trembling.

I was very hestitant about posting that piece. But it's just not healthy keeping it all inside.

--cranefly

[The Queen]

Yesterday afternoon, Preston and Cuchulain and I went to enjoy our usual afternoon walk. About 200 hundred yards from the house, we had a run-in with an aggressive stray. We're all okay, and amazingly lucky to have gotten off so lightly, I think. Dog fights can be terrifying things, but they sometimes sound a whole lot worse than they actually are. Cuchulain didn't get a scratch - just tore up his nails a bit on the pavement. Preston got the worst of it -- his eyelid got nicked by someone's teeth or nails and it bled a lot - scared the crap out of me because his eye was totally covered by blood at one point, and dripping all over him and it got smeared all over Cuchulain -- but amazingly, no bites. (I know because I paid the vet a million dollars to check every inch of both dogs for damage, and to treat Preston's eye.) As for me - at one point the stray tried to get around Cuchulain to me and I think I got tangled up in the leashes and fell - wrenched my knee and landed on my hip.

I'm anticipating the prettiest colors on my leg since I stopped fooling around with epees.

[Drunk Monk]

DM and his tire iron was no where near this incident. DM's dog suit remains in the closet next to ED's wombat furry costume. Ooops. Maybe I shouldn't have mentioned that last part...

[King Bob]

I've got this small growth on the side of my head. Finally I went to the doctor and he said it wasn't serious and could freeze it off. He referred to it as A BARNACLE! (It's catchier than "benign keratoma.") Personally I found that more troubling than having a growth.

So it's not just the mammal thing I have in common with whales now.

[Greg_phpbb3_import1]

How can you resist Barnacle Bob? How? Ah, the illiteration . . . . .

[Drunk Monk]

How big is the growth? Can you keep it in a jar after it's removed?

Legbone's act of war left me quite hobbled. Nothing like cutting off part of a finger for a typist.

http://brotherhoodofdoom.com/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=390

[Greg_phpbb3_import1]

Now, you're just a typist. Maybe the blow wasn't just to your finger. How's your manhood doing?