12-30-2006, 07:14 PM
What did I think of the movie?
That’s a loaded question.
Lady Cranefly and I considered boycotting it. But if we did that, then out of fairness we’d have to unwatch all the Polanski movies we’ve seen, then investigate all other directors and unwatch more movies based on some scale of directorial assholeness. In the end we decided to let art exist independent of its creator, to be judged on its own merits.
Apocalypto, for the most part, is a brilliant movie. I was impressed by the characters and how Mel introduced them. He set up the villagers with a few expert brushstrokes, showing the group dynamics of the main players. The pacing was right on, at least through the first half, and the sets and cinematography were breathtaking. Mel has been attacked for his potty humor. But you know, he does it so well, and he uses it to such advantage (he did a lot of character-building with it), that I won’t criticize it.
Of the villains, there were many shades. I recall Siskel and Ebert long ago discussing how important the villain is in action movies. He (or she) can’t just be bad; he has to be interesting-bad. You know, twisted in fascinating ways. This movie had several standout villains, and they were all vastly different.
I am going to wave the spoiler flag as this point. It’s not that I’m giving away any major plot elements, but what I say might color your viewing of certain scenes, should you go see it.
Okay, here goes.
You probably know from my other reviews that I hate car chases. They’re always stupid. True, there might be one or two out there that are actually good. But it’s so rare that I’m going to categorize car chases as stupid. Apocalypto had two car chases, and they were the worst thing about the movie. They come just past the halfway point of the movie.
You’re probably saying to yourself about now, “Cars? In Apocalypto?” Actually, no. Still, I’m calling these car chases because, well, that’s what they bloody are!
In one car chase, the protagonist is running through the rainforest trying to escape from seven bad dudes who are after him. The leader of the bad dudes says, “Spread out.” This means walking in rank, spanning 30 feet. In this fashion they pursue our protagonist through most of a day -- through a rainforest. Now, there “are” a couple of incidents where tracking is involved. You know, finding a drop of blood or a bit of hair. But for the most part the logic is that the bad dudes have fanned out to form a net and are driving mr. good guy ahead of them. Nope. Doesn’t work for me. Especially when night falls and suddenly the bad dudes all have these amazing torches. I mean, I wish lady cranefly and I had had torches like those in the Amazon. We could have read after dusk. As it were, we just had a kerosene lamp, and it doesn’t throw light worth a damn. Reading is what we missed most while in the rainforest. But back to these torches, lemme tell ya. They lit the way and allowed those bad dudes to follow mr. good guy throughout the night until dawn.
I’m sorry. The jungle doesn’t work that way. Mel, you’ve got your head up your ass on that one.
In another car chase, mr. good guy has the misfortune of hiding where there’s a jaguar cub. Yep, mommy shows up real fast and mr. good guy runs for his life. Mommy jaguar gives chase, and this goes on for minutes, with many cuts between the bad guys seeking him out and him running through the forest and the jaguar running after him. Now, lady cranefly and I saw a jaguar in the Amazon. No, not in the wild. It was at a butterfly farm which was turning into an animal rescue mission. When Ms. Butterfly banged a dead chicken on the wire cage, that jaguar came pouncing. Pounce. Got that, Mel? Jaguars pounce and then it’s over. There’s no goddamned car chase about it.
Another flaw was the number of coincidences. The major events of the movie depended on several major historical coincidences -- one or two too many for lady cranefly and myself to swallow.
Still, despite the coincidences and those bloody car chases, we were both very impressed by the film and would highly recommend it.
Be aware, however, that Mel does not pull back from acts of brutality. He gives you closeups and languishes on the gory details. I like his approach and approve of it for its realism -- or maybe because I’m a real sicko. You choose.
--cranefly
That’s a loaded question.
Lady Cranefly and I considered boycotting it. But if we did that, then out of fairness we’d have to unwatch all the Polanski movies we’ve seen, then investigate all other directors and unwatch more movies based on some scale of directorial assholeness. In the end we decided to let art exist independent of its creator, to be judged on its own merits.
Apocalypto, for the most part, is a brilliant movie. I was impressed by the characters and how Mel introduced them. He set up the villagers with a few expert brushstrokes, showing the group dynamics of the main players. The pacing was right on, at least through the first half, and the sets and cinematography were breathtaking. Mel has been attacked for his potty humor. But you know, he does it so well, and he uses it to such advantage (he did a lot of character-building with it), that I won’t criticize it.
Of the villains, there were many shades. I recall Siskel and Ebert long ago discussing how important the villain is in action movies. He (or she) can’t just be bad; he has to be interesting-bad. You know, twisted in fascinating ways. This movie had several standout villains, and they were all vastly different.
I am going to wave the spoiler flag as this point. It’s not that I’m giving away any major plot elements, but what I say might color your viewing of certain scenes, should you go see it.
Okay, here goes.
You probably know from my other reviews that I hate car chases. They’re always stupid. True, there might be one or two out there that are actually good. But it’s so rare that I’m going to categorize car chases as stupid. Apocalypto had two car chases, and they were the worst thing about the movie. They come just past the halfway point of the movie.
You’re probably saying to yourself about now, “Cars? In Apocalypto?” Actually, no. Still, I’m calling these car chases because, well, that’s what they bloody are!
In one car chase, the protagonist is running through the rainforest trying to escape from seven bad dudes who are after him. The leader of the bad dudes says, “Spread out.” This means walking in rank, spanning 30 feet. In this fashion they pursue our protagonist through most of a day -- through a rainforest. Now, there “are” a couple of incidents where tracking is involved. You know, finding a drop of blood or a bit of hair. But for the most part the logic is that the bad dudes have fanned out to form a net and are driving mr. good guy ahead of them. Nope. Doesn’t work for me. Especially when night falls and suddenly the bad dudes all have these amazing torches. I mean, I wish lady cranefly and I had had torches like those in the Amazon. We could have read after dusk. As it were, we just had a kerosene lamp, and it doesn’t throw light worth a damn. Reading is what we missed most while in the rainforest. But back to these torches, lemme tell ya. They lit the way and allowed those bad dudes to follow mr. good guy throughout the night until dawn.
I’m sorry. The jungle doesn’t work that way. Mel, you’ve got your head up your ass on that one.
In another car chase, mr. good guy has the misfortune of hiding where there’s a jaguar cub. Yep, mommy shows up real fast and mr. good guy runs for his life. Mommy jaguar gives chase, and this goes on for minutes, with many cuts between the bad guys seeking him out and him running through the forest and the jaguar running after him. Now, lady cranefly and I saw a jaguar in the Amazon. No, not in the wild. It was at a butterfly farm which was turning into an animal rescue mission. When Ms. Butterfly banged a dead chicken on the wire cage, that jaguar came pouncing. Pounce. Got that, Mel? Jaguars pounce and then it’s over. There’s no goddamned car chase about it.
Another flaw was the number of coincidences. The major events of the movie depended on several major historical coincidences -- one or two too many for lady cranefly and myself to swallow.
Still, despite the coincidences and those bloody car chases, we were both very impressed by the film and would highly recommend it.
Be aware, however, that Mel does not pull back from acts of brutality. He gives you closeups and languishes on the gory details. I like his approach and approve of it for its realism -- or maybe because I’m a real sicko. You choose.
--cranefly
I'm nobody's pony.