07-10-2016, 04:18 PM
Tassajara was wonderful, as always. It was bookended by the Crow's Nest Beach party, which had free reggae on the beach in walking distance and that was just irresistible. We headed out on Friday and met another family there, a middle school friend of Tara's and her parents. The girls were doing the student work practice, which meant they had to do the morning zazen and then work until noon, but they really took to it. Stacy was doing bodywork on the students but she arranged it so she ended with a day off and we bought another day as guests so we'd be there for the girls when they were done. I was just coatailling as Stacy's guest, which means I had no obligations and ate with the students, but I did the zazen as I've taken zen vows twice so I should really keep them. The other girls mom had a hard time relaxing, always busying herself, making sure everyone was attended to, and constantly chatting about how she would stay longer next year (to which I kept saying 'be here now') - her husband, who only came grumblingly, figured it out quickly and just lounged at the tubs, soaking it all in. Also, by chance, I ran into one of the RM docs, Adam, who has recently been blackballed from the org for overindulging his backstage privileges. But all of them were only there for the weekend, and by the 4th, it was just us and T's friend. The 4th is also a celebration of founder's day, so the zen students stage these hilarious skits in the evening and there's a dj dance party after (which was amazingly rocking - those zen students can really let loose). Also, Brother David Steindl-Rast, the benedictine monk and catholic scholar was there. We had crossed paths with him there before and he is a true wise luminary, so genuinely spiritual that he could make me convert if I spent enough time with him. i really enjoyed having breakfast with him on the last day - holding hands in grace before eating was really special. I also spent some time with Tanto Greg Fain, who has been head there for 7 years now. he left me with a lot of food for thought, as did several of the zen students. I really enjoyed our informal chats - so thought provoking with present, literate people, all on the path. Sometimes it's like being out thought - that's what i luv about zen - it can be profound and intellectual, but also humorous. The week before was my 20th anniversary of taking my vows at Shaolin (21 for my wedding vows, which were at Green Gulch, like Tassajara another branch of SF zen). i had totally forgotten the date of my Shaolin vows until my disciple brother posted on instagram. I've strayed from Shaolin as I don't have a Shaolin teacher now. It made me rethink my practice a lot, as it's been a long cold winter and my practice has really decayed. So I did a lot of practice at Tassajara, reconstructing some forms and exercises which i hope to keep up on a daily basis. I really need to work out more. The baths at tassajara took most of my attention - being on the student schedule meant I could have the baths to myself a lot and had a really magical moment there alone when a deer came down to the creek as I was in the outdoor plunge. My zazen was mediocre - i was fighting sleep like always (when buddhist say 'awake' it's quite literal) and having weird flashbacks to sleepy rides over hwy17 - not at all good. On the 4th, i had a terrible sit, nearly dropped off, cramped, had to use the bathroom, everything went wrong and i had to bail on the special service. That gave me pause as i thought i was getting into the rhythm of it. But sitting is so hard. If you haven't practiced it, you just don't know. On my final sit, there was a bat in the zendo (Tara said there were two but I only saw one). Just as I settled in, the bat came right between me and the wall - i could feel the wind from its wings. i figured that start would be enough to keep me up, but it didn't. So personally, the practice drenched up a lot for me. The food, the bathing, the conversations, all were very renewing and inspiring. And I read and napped a lot. It was a perfect vacation.
Shadow boxing the apocalypse