my mom

[Drunk Monk]

I think I booked an appt at the proper bank. I cancelled the appt at the nearby one. The new appt was supposed to confirm with a text but that has yet to happen. The agent that I eventually got to was ESL and seemed a bit slow on the uptake.

The annoying thing is that I did exactly as instructed on the letter and that was a total dead end. 

Feckin banks...

[Drunk Monk]

Power of attorney unlocked. There is a trust and a will. I'm now on the trust and power of attorney is fully activated. Prior to this, the way it was written was that PoA fell to me if two of the three agreed - my mom, me, or my mom's doctor. My mom's doctor declined to do it medically because she said that would be involved (she may have just been lazy) and since my mom was agreed, better to just have her sign over while she's still coherent. 

We went to my mom's lawyer's office. Actually her lawyer retired - he was a good friend of my dad's - and his partner helped us out. He was fantastic, explaining every step along the way and doing everything efficiently. 

Next step - get my name on all the bank accounts. We share one account. There are others with two other banks.

[Dr. Ivor Yeti]

I’m glad you are getting this sorted ahead of time. It’s an emotional process, but ultimately necessary.

[Drunk Monk]

It’s been an emotional process all the way through. Over a decade of caretaking for my dad and now several years of caretaking for my mom. I’m emotionally exhausted.

[King Bob]

We also had a medical PoA but I'm not sure if that's necessary. No one ever asked about it. Now's also the time for the POLST form (and End of Life Directive?). Writing that makes me think that the medical PoA might be to take care of end of life issues.

I assume title to her house is held by the trust? If not, you'll need to do that or you'll get hit with probate.

Caregiving is exhausting. Good luck.

[Greg]

My sisters and I all have power of attorney. Everything is in a living trust.

[Drunk Monk]

My mom signed off on a DNR years ago. It’s in the fridge as recommended. The house is in the trust.

Slowly things are getting lined up. She even cleaned on of her bookshelves. That had some of her college books. 

Next step, getting the banks in order.

[cranefly]

My mom signed off on a DNR years ago. It’s in the fridge as recommended. The house is in the trust.

Fridge?  Is that an inventive bit of auto-correct, or is it really fridge, and it's just a reliable place to stash something important so you don't forget where it is?

[Drunk Monk]

EMTs & paramedics are trained to check the fridge for medical documents. There’s a sticker notification placed prominently on the fridge door and a specifically marked vial container in the dirt rack. It’s a common practice because in an emergency, responders can easily locate the fridge.

[Greg]

Oddly, my mother's medical documents are on the fridge door. At least the DNR rules are there.

[Drunk Monk]

Yesterday, my mom called me just before I was going to head to her house to say that there's a bee's nest in her yard now. It's irksome when she calls because she can't hear me on the phone - she can barely hear me in person. She often says 'what' reflexively now, even before I've finished replying. That's frustrating. 

She tells me she plugged the nest hole. I tell her 'do not do that.' Bees nests always have multiple holes. I learned this the hard way when I was a kid. Me and my friend Skipper Danasi (I remember that name well because it's a great name) plugged a hole when we were like 5 or so. I have a crystalized memory of seeing the swarm of bees rise above the alternate hole like one of those Looney Tunes scenes where Bugs drops a beehive on Elmer or something. We ran. I got out unscathed. Skipper was slower and pulled up his pants leg to reveal multiple bees still stuck to the back of his calf, trapped because of his muscular action running I imagine. Another crystalized memory. Afterwards, my mom told me to never plug up beehives.

But she forgot and got stung twice, once in the chest and once on the forearm. I reminded her of this story. I also treated it with some calamine, only to learn that she's allergic to it, which she remembered after it got itchy. My mom has sensitive skin that reacts to soaps and lotions. 

Now she wants me to find some bee spray that her neighbor found on the interwebz and hose down the bees at night. The hive is very active. Just looking at the hole from afar, there were some 3-4 dozen bees buzzing around it. I told her we need to hire a pro. She says they're too expensive. Then she remembers that she's had bee hive problems before all over her yard like this. 

I don't want to kill bees. We need bees. But I don't want my mom to get stung anymore either. It's a lot of bees.

[cranefly]

Are these honeybees?  Seems like beekeepers would round them up for free.  If yellowjackets or hornets, all bets are off.

I heard recently that bumblebees will soon be a protected species, and killing one could result in a substantial fine.  Their numbers have dwindled precipitously.  But I think their "hives" are in the ground, so you're not dealing with them.

[Greg]

You are the good son. Talking to your mother.

I am the bad son. I sent my mother's calls to voice mail on the land line and the mobile. She has recently cottoned to the fact that I don't pick up if she calls me on my cell phone. The reception for those calls is always poor here at the Lair, so I don't bother. That goes for pretty much everything. And I have told people to call me on the land line if they want to talk to me at my home. I am always at home. My mother always called on my cell until recently she learned about the land line.

I knew she was calling on the land line last night because I knew she'd want to talk to me about talking with DM's Steinbeck friend that had talked to my mother. Nothing I like more than talking to my mother about Steinbeck.

[Drunk Monk]

I knew she was calling on the land line last night because I knew she'd want to talk to me about talking with DM's Steinbeck friend that had talked to my mother. Nothing I like more than talking to my mother about Steinbeck.

So they connected? Cool.

Sorry to get you involved in that but my friend is a scholar and researching Steinbeck.

[cranefly]

One more thing about the bees.  There might be a local organization that might deal with them for free.

I just glanced at this site, don't know for sure.

https://www.beeguild.org/swarm