04-27-2021, 10:50 PM
As I mentioned on http://www.brotherhoodofdoom.com/doomFor...p?tid=6272
In my quest for something alternative for my Kid-friendly list, I explored some of films by Chen Xiaolong (aka Ashton Chen). He was a child star when I was first going to Shaolin Temple. His father, Chen Tongshan, owns one of the Big 3, the most prestigious private schools of Shaolin. My Shaolin master, Decheng, teaches through his academy since he closed his brick & mortars. The Chen's, my master and I share the same surname (Ching is from the Hakka dialect, but the Chinese character is the same). Chen Tongshan has always shown me great kindness and even had one of his coaches give me a free day-long lesson once when I was at Shaolin alone (Decheng was in Europe). I wrote articles on Ashton and we've crossed paths since - he went to drama college in NYC and is still trying to establish himself as an adult actor.
His child movies are bad. Really bad. It's akin to Stephen Chow's Mou Lei Tai humor but it doesn't work at all for me. Mind you, these were hugely successful in PRC. It's just dumb crass humor and doesn't work.
Ashton is a Shaolin prodigy who endures a crazy Dashanmen (Shaolin exit exam) with bronze Luohan, a Luohan wielding a Buddhist bell flying guillotine, and a Luohan with a whip in a room for fan blades. It's like something out of House of Traps. Ashton, playing Xiaolong, and his sister, Sparrow, a Shaolin telekinetic, travel to Hawall for a tournament but the real reason is to recover a file of nuclear codes or something nuclear. They meet some Chinese brothers, a shy hot food truck beach cook who Benihanas food (a young Kaneshiro Takeshi) and an annoying fat kid who costars with Xiaolong a lot (Hao Shao-wen). Among the evil gwailo are Mark Houghton, Tony the Viking (really, that's how he's credited) and for additional comic relief, one of my favs Ng Man-tat.
But this film is unsaveable. It's a hard watch.
Plus I watched a version translated to Thai on YouTube. The Thai dubbers just talked over the Chinese and it dropped out for a while so the voices all changed. Plus the same dude voiced both kids in an annoying falsetto and it was impossible to tell which kid was speaking.
It's those jokes. SPOILERS There's a running joke about hiding the nuclear files up their asses. There's a lot of lechery with Ng and the fat kid ogling beach babes in bikinis. At one point early in the film, the fat kid steals another kid's doll so he can cross dress and infiltrate a group of young girls to kiss them but he's discovered so he flees and gets a beach busker painter to paint new clothes on him then he sits down next to some old ladies and they notice he has an elephant on his pants but its really his penis and there's a close up shot of them playing with the elephant's trunk. Holy cats, did I just watch child porn? Dammit. END SPOILER
I don't think I'll find any useable Xiaolong films for my article but it's plunged me down a horrible rabbit hole. He does have skills for a little kid, but man, his films suck.
Sword fights. The opening Dashanmen sword fight is ridiculous.
Only DOOM recommended for cf while he recovers from his operation and is all hopped up on pain meds. I'm leaving this here just for him.
(04-26-2021, 10:32 PM)Drunk Monk Wrote: I rewatched this because I'm putting together a piece on Kid-friendly martial arts films.
In my quest for something alternative for my Kid-friendly list, I explored some of films by Chen Xiaolong (aka Ashton Chen). He was a child star when I was first going to Shaolin Temple. His father, Chen Tongshan, owns one of the Big 3, the most prestigious private schools of Shaolin. My Shaolin master, Decheng, teaches through his academy since he closed his brick & mortars. The Chen's, my master and I share the same surname (Ching is from the Hakka dialect, but the Chinese character is the same). Chen Tongshan has always shown me great kindness and even had one of his coaches give me a free day-long lesson once when I was at Shaolin alone (Decheng was in Europe). I wrote articles on Ashton and we've crossed paths since - he went to drama college in NYC and is still trying to establish himself as an adult actor.
His child movies are bad. Really bad. It's akin to Stephen Chow's Mou Lei Tai humor but it doesn't work at all for me. Mind you, these were hugely successful in PRC. It's just dumb crass humor and doesn't work.
Ashton is a Shaolin prodigy who endures a crazy Dashanmen (Shaolin exit exam) with bronze Luohan, a Luohan wielding a Buddhist bell flying guillotine, and a Luohan with a whip in a room for fan blades. It's like something out of House of Traps. Ashton, playing Xiaolong, and his sister, Sparrow, a Shaolin telekinetic, travel to Hawall for a tournament but the real reason is to recover a file of nuclear codes or something nuclear. They meet some Chinese brothers, a shy hot food truck beach cook who Benihanas food (a young Kaneshiro Takeshi) and an annoying fat kid who costars with Xiaolong a lot (Hao Shao-wen). Among the evil gwailo are Mark Houghton, Tony the Viking (really, that's how he's credited) and for additional comic relief, one of my favs Ng Man-tat.
But this film is unsaveable. It's a hard watch.
Plus I watched a version translated to Thai on YouTube. The Thai dubbers just talked over the Chinese and it dropped out for a while so the voices all changed. Plus the same dude voiced both kids in an annoying falsetto and it was impossible to tell which kid was speaking.
It's those jokes. SPOILERS There's a running joke about hiding the nuclear files up their asses. There's a lot of lechery with Ng and the fat kid ogling beach babes in bikinis. At one point early in the film, the fat kid steals another kid's doll so he can cross dress and infiltrate a group of young girls to kiss them but he's discovered so he flees and gets a beach busker painter to paint new clothes on him then he sits down next to some old ladies and they notice he has an elephant on his pants but its really his penis and there's a close up shot of them playing with the elephant's trunk. Holy cats, did I just watch child porn? Dammit. END SPOILER
I don't think I'll find any useable Xiaolong films for my article but it's plunged me down a horrible rabbit hole. He does have skills for a little kid, but man, his films suck.
Sword fights. The opening Dashanmen sword fight is ridiculous.
Only DOOM recommended for cf while he recovers from his operation and is all hopped up on pain meds. I'm leaving this here just for him.
Shadow boxing the apocalypse
