Dear Doom

[cranefly]

Dear Doom:

Recently a lady friend stopped by our place to drop something off. She needed to use the bathroom, which was fine. But after her departure I noticed that she had left the seat up.

More recently we had a female house guest for a week, and I couldn't help noticing that she, too, consistently left the seat up.

Then just last night we went to visit a female friend who lives alone. Imagine my surprise when, walking past the bathroom, I noticed the seat up.

None of these women are slobs. They're all sophisticated ladies known for meticulous tidiness.

So. What's up? No, that's not a pun! I'm serious here.

I myself always put the seat down. In fact, I usually check every fifteen minutes to make certain it's still down (it has to do with watching "It Came from the Sewer" as a kid, okay?).

But what's up with these ladies? Is the whole boys-leave-it-up/girls-put-it-down thing an urban legend? Have we been fed a bunch of boloney all these years?

Or is it something more sinister? Are women starting to stand up for their, uh … rights? Is that what this is about?

I'm really very confused about this right now. Any insight into the phenomenon would be greatly appreciated.

signed, Knocked Off My Seat

[Greg_phpbb3_import1]

I got lost in the whole leave the seat up, leave the seat down debate years ago. I just close the damn thing. Which is also the wise choice if you have dogs.

[The Queen]

...I learned long ago that there are some battles worth fighting, and the position of a toilet seat lid is most definitely not one of them. Who cares what position the seat is in, unless, as Greg mentioned, you have a dog who wants to drink from a less than pristine bowl? I'm a grown-up: I can see whether the seat is up or down and if it needs to come down, put it down all by myself!

I've never heard of anyone (of my gender) not requiring a seat -- at least here in the U.S. There were some holes in Turkey that surprised me a bit. There have been some less than sanitary public restrooms here where I've been happier "hovering" rather than sitting, but that's pretty rare.

Perhaps the lady in question was simply being polite, and leaving the seat up for you? Surely that's just as polite as you trying to leave it down for her?

[Dr. Ivor Yeti]

...perhaps the creatures from the sewers had ALREADY come into the house/office. Perhaps they are lurking near you even now. Perhaps they are RIGHT BEHIND YOU!!!

[Drunk Monk]

After travelling in Asia, it's all about hovering. That's the application of my kung fu horse stance that's been the most practical of all.

Worthy of note, I have seen wimmen who could manage standing up. Don't ask where. I've been a lot of bad places...

[Greg_phpbb3_import1]

I always hearken back to the nice hole in the floor they had in the restaraunt I ate at in Paris. Very Chic. It made me want to come home and rip out the porcelain fixtures.

[Drunk Monk]

...was in a restaurant in thailand. it was like a conventional american standard, but no lid, and on either side where these footrests. so there's no way you'd sit on the thing because it was nasty slimy. and it was challenge to sqaut over because you were balancing on this slimy toilet bowl edge a fout and a half off the ground. fortunately i only had to pee...

after travelling in asia a lot, i can tell you some monster toilet stories, but i don't think y'all really want to go there... do you?

[Drunk Monk]

hijacking this thread for this...

i don't know why.  

Terrified MIT Computer Scientists Hide From Roomba Hacked to Run DOOM

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BY DAVID TYLER | APRIL 30, 2018
CAMBRIDGE, Mass. — Several graduate students associated with the Massachusetts Institute of Technology’s Media Lab have taken shelter in a supply closet after a Roomba hacked to run DOOM got loose during a demonstration.
Over the course of a 24-hour “hackathon”, three MIT graduate students in computer science modified an of-the-shelf Roomba to run the classic PC shoot-’em-up DOOM. A commotion erupted early Tuesday when the Roomba, which was designed to autonomously vacuum hardwood floors and short pile carpets, was consumed with what team leader Thomas Shu describes as “bloodlust”.
“At first, we thought the grunts were cute,” Shu explained, referring to the Roomba’s apparently unplanned decision to hijack the onboard voice synthesizer to emulate the Doomguy. “But then it said, ‘I wanna be knee-deep in dead’ and Daryl lost a damn toe. We still don’t know how it got razor blades in its wheels. It must’ve been planning before the presentation started.”
Following the amputation, the “DOOMba” navigated to the center of the classroom, where it began spinning in circles daring those in attendance to “hurt [it] plenty.” When event coordinator Nancy Valdespino attempted to access the vacuum’s off switch, she was met by a blast of fire from a flamethrower concealed beneath its AeroVac™ Bin.
Her current medical condition is not known.
In the ensuing stampede to flee the room, a fire alarm was pulled and police called. The fate of the first responders is not known, although it appears at some point the robot was able to acquire a handgun.
The three team members — Shu, Daryl Thomas, and Saanvi Narayanan — along with two other event participants were able to take shelter in a media supply closet as the DOOMba opened fire. It remains at large. As of press time, the bright minds of tomorrow were hard at work lashing keyboards and old DVD players to their torsos as makeshift body armor.