The Spiderwick Chronicles

[Drunk Monk]

Utterly lame fencing. There's a fencer, the older sister, which was the main reason I wanted to see this. She can't fence at all. Did AFS arm them, PPFY? If so, shame, shame, shame. They practice without masks or jackets. She carries her weapons loose when moving instead of in a nice fencing bag, strictly so they can show she's a fencer. The fight scenes are pathetic. There's a good line when she gets a real cutlass, but they never develop on that.

Worse still, the film is in Harry's shadow. The serpent looks like a bad Nagini. The griffin pales to Buckbeak. The bogart, well, how can you beat Snape in Neville's grandma's dress? The ending is painfully predictable. Martin Short voices the hobgoblin as a bad Bobcat Golthwaite impression (thought it was Bobcat for most of the movie.)

It was an airplane movie. I would have rather stared at my tray for an hour and a half.

[The Queen]

Yeah, that was the Eastbound film for my flight to Philadelphia. The audio port in my seat didn't work, so I didn't get the chance to listen, but the occasional glances at the screen indicated I wasn't missing much -- glad to hear I was right.

[Drunk Monk]

Like Percy Jackson, time for a redux