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+--- Thread: I'm more broken than you (/showthread.php?tid=270)
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- Greg_phpbb3_import1 - 07-25-2008
Just because they are going to burn a cardinal to death on my stage, I'm dissing Yahweh? I must have read the wrong book. Plus, isn't St. Peter supposed to be a rabbit? ( I just saw the South Park easter special)
- Dr. Ivor Yeti - 07-26-2008
Uh...you got laid off because some primitive screwhead dropped a Prius on your toes? I don't get it. Or were the two not really connected...?
Not quite - Greg_phpbb3_import1 - 07-26-2008
I spent weeks pissing off the boss and he finally said I had to go. At least that's the official version. Good thing he sent the general foreman to do his bidding rather than tell me in person.
- Dr. Ivor Yeti - 07-26-2008
G-Man, did you spend weeks highlighting the boss' ignorance of all things construction-like? Did you ask impertinent questions like "you got any measurements to go with that?" or "Did you want room for the cameras?" or say things like "Gosh, i'd like to build you a wall, but some dipstick forgot to order wood and nails..."?
All will be revealed - Greg_phpbb3_import1 - 07-26-2008
Now that I can't be fired for writing a Trench, I'll wrap things up. Although I could still be black balled for posting things online. Oh, the tight rope I walk.
Re: I'm more broken than you - Dr. Ivor Yeti - 10-14-2008
We should now discuss why HK has the new temporary knick-name of "Cool Foot Luke". Or we could go with "Peg-Leg".
Re: I'm more broken than you - Greg_phpbb3_import1 - 10-14-2008
He's not here, mock away I say. And I said it rhyming!!!
Today's Phrase that pays - Greg_phpbb3_import1 - 11-22-2008
My father left a pamphlet for me about Diabetic neuropathy at my spot at the kitchen table. (Yes, I still have a spot at the table) And the phrase that jumped out at me was " injecting a drug called a vasodilator into the penis before sex"
At what point do you make the injection? Do you step out post foreplay? And from experience I know that getting an injection into the junk (Please see Fear of the Cutter in stories for more details) isn't really conducive to sexual activity. It seems to me they are sending me mixed messages.
Re: I'm more broken than you - Dr. Ivor Yeti - 01-18-2009
HK? HK....? How's the foot?
Re: I'm more broken than you - thatguy - 01-25-2009
Can you die from hay fever? I'm certain it's the Acacias. They mock me in brilliant yellow on my way to work. If it's not them, they are covering for some other wicked plant. I wish these plants would stop having sex around my sinuses. Get a fucking room...
I was glad it rained for a couple of days, but it barely stopped today and I'm considering driving a long nail into my head again. The Claritin-D I've been taking this time around worked great the first day, but since then it's made me really speedy and stupid which is a great combination. I'm probably just a well off numbing the symptoms with a bunch of recreational drugs or alcohol. I'll be just as functional and probably have a better time.
--tg
Almost got a Valentine gift - cranefly - 02-16-2009
So Lady Cranefly went up to Seattle to babysit her niece Amanda. Babysit isn't quite the word. Actually, Lady Cranefly took her to RadCon. Which means "corrupt" is more correct.
It's become a yearly odyssey. Amanda is now 15.
RadCon is a science fiction convention held in the vicinity of Hanford -- which means that Rad stands for radiation. Lady Cranefly's younger brother is a safety manager at Hanford's cleanup facility.
As part of RadCon, there is an art auction. Lady Cranefly spied a really nice little Audrey sculpture -- very menacing expression and poised leaves. She tried to buy it outright as a gift for me. If your bid is uncontested, you get it. But someone outbid her a dollar. That sent it to auction, which was held at a time when Lady Cranefly had to hold forth on a panel. Nevertheless, she found a surrogate to do her bidding and gave her a handful of cash. Unfortunately, the bidding exceeded the ready cash and the surrogate finally had to relent. The proud winner went up to the podium to receive her prize, only to have the auctioneer drop it. Whereupon the winner declined it, not wanting it in two pieces.
The artist will receive recompense, and she's very happy that Lady Cranefly helped bid the piece up.
Anyway, I know it's a stretch to put this under "I'm more broken than you." Still, I feel a responsibility to practice conservation of topics in the Greg universe.
Re: I'm more broken than you - thatguy - 02-17-2009
I bought a loaf of italian bread from Trader Joe's last week. When I went to use it the next day, it was more stale than I expected. I cut off the end and was going to cut that up into a few slices and I managed to slice my thumb pretty good. I cleaned it up as best I could, wrapped it in toilet paper and electrical tape and then drove down to Long's to get some real band-aids.
I wasn't sure what to do with the stale bread, so I looked online and found a bread pudding recipe. My son was coming over tonight and I thought that would be a nice dessert. I also had some work that I thought I could get done better at home with less distractions. So I came home early, and got the loaf of bread out again, and the same serrated knife. I was careful to not have my fingers in the path of the blade this time, but the bread was pretty serious and I was sawing away when the knife slipped and ran across my left hand pointer finger. I looked down and saw that I had a pretty deep cut, so I immediately wrapped it up in toilet paper and gave it pressure. I got on the computer and looked up the nearest Doctors on Duty, got in the car and spent an hour and a half getting stitches and a tetanus shot. I get to see a hand surgeon on Thurs.
I took a couple of pictures after the stitches were finished. The before shot would have looked too much like stage makeup. I'm debating whether or not to share...
I have now shredded the bread by hand into little tiny pieces. Tip: when making bread pudding, soak the bread in the milk before tearing it apart.
--tg
Re: I'm more broken than you - Dr. Ivor Yeti - 02-18-2009
No sawzall for you! You should consider wearing safety-glasses while prepping your meals, too. I always do. I also never eat my own cooking - safety first!
Re: I'm more broken than you - The Queen - 02-18-2009
I can empathize. I was peeling a cucumber a couple weeks back and managed to apply the peeler to my thumb rather than the cucumber. All better now. But I believe it was a sign that I'm not supposed to eat anything fruit-veggie-healthy-ish that doesn't come pre-cleaned, pre-cut and ready to eat.
Re: I'm more broken than you - El Dingo - 02-18-2009
The only time I cut myself is when I open those vacuum-sealed blister packs in which everything from Costco is sold.
Why a class-action suit has not been brought against that product is beyond me.