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House Call - cranefly - 05-07-2012
I get a call from a lady named Hong Jin, or at least that's what I think she says. She wants to drop by my house to run some medical procedures. I'm okay, by the way. This is some sort of deal that my mom's financial adviser is pushing through. In theory, it will help cover assisted living costs for her. But it is packaged as life insurance for us three surviving kids. (I hope this is all on the up-and-up.) One requirement is that each of us kids must undergo an in-home medical exam. Hong Jin and I schedule a time, and I'm about to hang up when she mentions that she will be bringing along a trainee. I say okay. I mean, what can I say?
So two ladies come knocking at my door, and I let them in. They are carrying some mighty big bags. Hong Jin introduces herself, then the trainee does as well, though I can't understand her. I'm going to call her In Ept. She has short-clipped hair and a round face, and she seems very very young. It soon becomes clear that Hong Jin is going to let In Ept do everything and merely observe.
There are a lot of questions, and In Ept has a lot of trouble reading them. I think it might have something to do with not knowing basic English. She just mumbles past the big words (and there are lots of them), or she just skips them entirely. I quietly read over her shoulder and answer after she finishes each question.
My yes's require an explanation, which In Ept has to write down. She's better at writing than reading, though big words like "ankle" totally throw her. I made notes beforehand, so I point out the words in my notes when she gets stuck. Needless to say, actinic keratosis gives her a time. She really doesn't seem to understand my answers, and Hong Jin has to repeat things to her and pin down wording. I watch as In Ept jots down one wrong word after another.
Then it's urine sample time. In Ept gives me a cup and two stoppered vials and a strip and just randomly says some stuff that doesn't make a lot of sense. I'm glad that Hong Jin finally steps in and explains what I need to do, because I would have done it all wrong. After that, In Ept has to take my blood pressure. She has to do it three times, as a requirement. Each time she tells me what it is, and I'm startled to hear it is 170 over 50 or something else outrageous. But when she writes it down, it's what I would expect it to be. Likewise, when she puts me on the scales, she looks at the readout and says, "180." I tell her no, it's like 159, maybe 160. She says, Oh, 150. (Or maybe she sticks to 180; I'm not certain what she's saying anymore). Hong Jin finally takes a look. "160!" she scolds In Ept. "It's 160." Likewise there's a struggle when In Ept measures my height. She's using a spring-loaded tape measure that keeps spoinging closed. She comes fairly close on that. Then there's my pulse, and I really doubt she got that right.
In Ept then prepares to draw my blood. She's got two test tubes to fill. Needless to say, I'm wondering how this will go down. She works incredibly fast, wiping my elbow area with an antiseptic, telling me to clench my fist, then she grabs up the needle and plunges it in. To my surprise she seems to nail it. Without taping the needle or anything, she just holds it and somehow manages to fill up both test tubes. She then jerks out the needle and tells me to press on the cotton swab. I do so. All seems well.
The EKG is interesting. I've never had an EKG. In Ept has me lie down on the opium couch. No sooner am I lying down than she starts tearing off my shirt. Then comes all the wires and the tape. I can't see what the hell she's doing exactly, but she's attaching them to both sides of my chest, to my sides, to my arms, and finally to my ankles. It takes a lot of jiggling by Inept and Hong Jin (I mean they were jiggling the
wires on me) before they get a reading and a printout (a jagged sine wave, which I suppose is good), which I have to sign. Then without warning or ceremony In Ept jerks all the tape off me, taking huge swathes of hair.
Hong Jin says they are done, and she thanks me for my patience. Then she and Inept leave.
As I get back to work on my writing, I begin to notice a weird clogged sensation in my left ear that extends into my neck and the left
side of my head. It's very very peculiar. So I do some searches on the web for "air in the bloodstream." There don't seem to be very clear symptoms for it, except in severe cases where you would pass out or have a heart attack. Actually, it would be kind of funny to be killed by an exam for life insurance.
Anyway, so far so good.
And let's hope I passed.
did anyone else think this was going to be about a colonosco - Drunk Monk - 05-07-2012
I pulled my left hamstring. Again. In kung fu practice. Lord knows how many times I've pulled muscles. The crappy thing is that I wasn't doing anything extreme. I was just running a form, one I practice quite regularly, and it pulled. What a drag it is getting old.
Bedside Manner - Greg_phpbb3_import1 - 06-19-2012
Should my doctor get to use the word 'Horrific' when describing the state of my health. What happened to sugar coating it? (I guess that would be bad for a diabetic, but still)
Re: I'm more broken than you - thatguy - 11-25-2012
While gunning to go up a hill, I put down the bike on the end of a wet bridge this afternoon. First time. It was a low-speed spill. Back tire spun out from under me. I managed to climb out from under the bike, dust off, and with the help of a passerby get the bike back up. I only broke the casing on the back of the speedo. I think the bike will be ok. On me, I tore the knuckles on my glove and f'd up my shoulder pretty good (can't lift my arm over my head at this point). But I think it's just a sore muscle, nothing serious.
A yeti once said "always wear protective gear" which I was doing and avoided any road rash.
Thanks Yeti!
--tg
Re: I'm more broken than you - Dr. Ivor Yeti - 11-26-2012
De nada. El Dingo was an early inspiration. I remember my first low-speed ejection. I've fallen over so many time, i can't count, but there are always passers-by who rush to help me get the bike upright. It's always three guys and after so many years, i'm starting to think that it is the same three guys every time.
Take it easy on that shoulder, and better to get some physical therapy sooner rather than later. We ain't so young any more and shoulders can be tricky.
Glad you could walk away from it and that your bike has gianed only some character.
Re: I'm more broken than you - Dr. Ivor Yeti - 11-26-2012
While we're on the subject of pain, i had a kidney stone a few weeks back. I can't say as i recommend the experience.
Hearing Loss - cranefly - 01-22-2013
Lady Cranefly was kind enough to pass this article along to me.
Grrrr.
Quote:Older people with hearing loss may suffer faster rates of mental decline. People who have hearing trouble suffered meaningful impairments in memory, attention and learning about three years earlier than people with normal hearing, a study published online January 21 in JAMA Internal Medicine reveals.
http://www.sciencenews.org/view/generic/id/347664/description/When_hearing_goes_mental_capacity_often_follows
A new model - Greg_phpbb3_import1 - 01-22-2013
At around lunch today, I got to experience the twin punches of sugar crash and fever spike. I felt I was only seconds away from hallucinations. Good times.
Re: I'm more broken than you - Dr. Ivor Yeti - 01-23-2013
This is one thread that is going to eventually take over the whole forum.
Just getting up out of a chair yesterday afternoon, not using my hands, and my left knee gives with a palpable internal tearing under the kneecap. Left leg cannot bear pressure except when locked straight. No swelling, so it is cartilage or the Mother of All Meniscus Tears. Riding Mo'cycle is pretty freakin' difficult when your knee doesn't want to bend or bear weight. Considering that half of my income comes from being a mobile sword-target, this is not going to be fun.
Now, it is off to see how good Healthy SF is.
Trying to imagine a Greg hallucination - bet it involves coy - Drunk Monk - 01-23-2013
Dr. Ivor Yeti Wrote:This is one thread that is going to eventually take over the whole forum.Nah, we'll all die first.
I just played fall guy to my Shaolin master, who beat me like a mantis smacks a fly. Actually, it was pretty soft stuff, posed for the camera, but my body doesn't take hits like it used to - my cervical arthritis can't take sudden jerks and pretty much any hit, even a soft one, will jerk the neck. I crossed hands with the xingyi master last month and he did this quick block reversal that went straight into my neck.
Bob Marley used that biblical quote 'stiff necked fools'...of all the fates...
Re: I'm more broken than you - The Queen - 01-24-2013
I can't one up youse guys, but just wanted to toss out that I'm enjoying the attention of a physical therapist again, twice a week for the next two to three weeks. Tennis elbow. Strangely enough, it was actually caused by tennis. (Or possibly by trying to wrangle Chaos and Mayhem.)
Any way, Alex the rapist, I mean the therapist, is a sadistic SOB. I'll forgive him if it works and my left elbow stops hurting and I can get back to my regular routine of losing three sets, three times a week. I need the exercise.
More Diabets fun - Greg_phpbb3_import1 - 04-08-2013
Also known as the Diabetes conundrum.
Diabetes two is linked to weight. Basically your body, notably your pancreas, decides that it is too heavy and as a protest will stop producing insulin to help break down the sugar in your body. This leads to big blocks of sugar in your blood stream which is bad.
To alleviate this, you take a big handful of pills to help spur your pancreas to producing more insulin. Or you lose weight to take the pressure off the pancreas, probably the more effective and healthy treatment.
Since my doctor used the word horrific in describing the state of my diabetes, I have opted for eating less and exercising more. Combined with my medicine cocktail, it seems to be working. Maybe working a little too well.
Not having enough sugar in the body is just as bad as having too much. Which leads me to the conundrum which I faced last night. I need to eat less to get my pancreas working right, but eating less doesn't leave enough sugar in my body at certain times of the day. This means I have to eat more. Eating helps but eating hurts.
Re: I'm more broken than you (MY BACK) - King Bob - 05-08-2013
So I can join the club: herniated disc, L5-S1. Started around new year, without a specific catastrophic injury, although one day I was doing reverse crunches and something popped in my spine with a little pain but only for a moment. That might have been it. Then there was hip pain, that I thought was from mobility exercises, which went to acute hamstring pain while walking. The doctor sent me to physical therapy, which not only did not help but I think made it worse, then finally got an MRI and then FINALLY a cortisone shot on 4/2. Before that there was about a month of extreme pain which pretty much shut me down. As my wife said: "You weren't here." So I got about 50% improvement from the shot but still some leg pain and foot numbness. I was getting better but now am stalled.
So you fellow sufferers: Do I just keep on, or ask the doctor for another shot (the latter seems better to me)?
Re: I'm more broken than you - Dr. Ivor Yeti - 05-09-2013
I have a chronic problem with a dic-bulge on L5. Had the foot-drop, sciatic pain, etc.. Your doc should be able to recommend someone who specializes in back injuries. I did a lot of stretching to take pressure off the disc. Took a few months until I was walking normally again. Had some subsequent bouts of excruciating pain (total of 3 trips to the ER when I couldn't manage the pain any longer) that were treated with pain injections and steroids.
Problem not solved until I got my core strong enough; no ER visits for several years now. I suspect that your core already is much stronger than mine, however.
"Herniated" might point to surgery. One of Barbara's cousins just had surgery on a herniated disc this past week. Since the nerve was being pinched, she got some immediate relief when they unpinched it.
Do you have a back-specific doctor?
my spinal issues are on the other end - Drunk Monk - 05-12-2013
C-5/6. But I have a lot of reciprocal back issues due to it.
My current solution: I do qigong every day - a self-tailored regimen based on the 8-section brocade. I lie on a yoga whale (a cumbersome back bending piece of furniture that doesn't quite fit in my bungalow) as well as a GM Tu back arching device regularly. I practice Shaolin hard at least once a week (private/semi-private lessons). I see a great chiropractor every two weeks. I sit on a ball and a modified office chair at work. I have all sorts of supportive pillows in my car and on my bed. I only take pain med or medical herb when needed (usually once a week).