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That's right. S.F. is a tourist destination. I just got back from a short 'vacation' which I'm still shaking off. In retrospect, it was the ultimate COLD PLUNGE. We spent three pleasant daze at Orr Hot Springs near Ukiah, where we had the tubs to ourselves almost, and our own kitchen in our cabin so we didn't have to hassle with their communal kitchen. It was wet, but there was one sunny morning in the middle and I got to enjoy my fav position in the roof tub, soaking nekked under the bright CA sun, so bright I had to shield my eyes with my towel. Then there was the two hailstorms, which were a little intense, especially as everything got super icy and my balance was soaked silly after too much time in the tubs.

But then, the cold plunge into the chaos of the Chinatown parade. It was the polar opposite - freezing cold and raining - and we were positioned right in the middle at the Hotel Triton, where Jerry, Carlos and Graham Nash have decorated rooms (we didn't stay in one of those because it was too pricey). The hotel was super cool, a tad expensive and touristy, but being able to get complimentary wine, organic coffee, valet parking, and all the doggy love was awesome. Bringing the pom to S.F. was crazy in it's own way, but amusing. The pom hated S.F. and wouldn't pee, but liked the room and being with the pack on an adventure. It was our sanctuary and from the window, I could look down and enjoy the tourists snapping shots of the Confucius gate. That afternoon, we met with another family from T's school, a very suburban Taiwanese couple and their two daughters. They joined us for a Chinatown stroll and if you haven't been to the parade in a while, well, it's total chaos right in the heart of S.F. It's a lot bigger than it was when we all crossed paths with it on my 21st B-day (over a quarter century ago now, brothers - ouch!) Now, it's Market to Union Square to Chinatown and a long ass parade, plus Grant street closes for several blocks of booths ranging from Chinese cell phone service, Chinese Christians and McDonald's. Of course, with the rain, it was just a swamp of umbrellas. I had my Aussie Oilskin trench, which will protect me from the great flood when it comes, and several layers on, plus our Knirps umbrella, which is built classy yet tough. It's like a John Steed Avenger umbrella. Despite living in Palo Alto, the other family seldom braved Chinatown, so I became tour guide, which is odd because I'm a horrid tour guide and was just too giddy from the soaking wet crowd, plus they spoke Chinese. We stopped by Clarion music (a truly amazing S.F. shop) and my fav tea shop Red Blossom and had a huge banquet for lunch at Enjoy Vegetarian on Kearney. Then they bailed, before the parade, which just amused the heck out of us.

The parade started on time in the rain and we were huddled on the steel rail right after Union Square - the TV review stand uses Macy's as the backdrop - we were on the opposite side. It was freezing cold with that skyscraper wind blowing but we were sheltered by the people who packed in behind us. Like Antartic penguins, those on the outside of the audience took the cold wind as those on the inside (us) were warmer, but not much. It got 4 deep tops, but those on the outside soon collapsed and retreated and I kept thinking, 'yes, Pink, yes, I *can* tell a "cold steel rail" from a "green field".' The rain stopped about an hour in and we could all put away our eye-poking out umbrellas. The parade is always goofy and jams up. I was really bummed when the International School of the Peninsula got stalled right in front of us - they're a Chinese and French language immersion school and had some drummers and a cymbalist that just didn't know how to play Chinese percussion. They had about three rhythms which they kept playing poorly. I hate to be critical, as they were kids, but that was way too loud and too long. We almost jumped the rail to strangle that incessant cymbalist. My fav was Riordan's marching band who did a ripping version of Lady Gaga's Bad Romance. I love rudimentary drumming and drum and bugle corps. Still, freezing cold wind, and everyone was wet, noisy, crappy percussion for the most part - why so many people think you can just play a giant drum, giant cymbals and gongs with no training, well, that's just so Chinese - and then of course, there's the firecrackers (which I love because I love big loud booms). S left with about an hour to go, retreating to our Triton refuge a block away to watch it on TV with the pom. T gave out about 20 minutes later, and with a gymno meet the next day, we beat a hasty retreat and saw the end on TV too.

After it was over, we walked just down the street to the Irish Bank, which is a pub and restaurant. We had to cut through the incredibly noisy pub, which gave me the opportunity to chide S & T on their Irish roots and how freaking noisy they are (it's much funnier in juxtaposition with the Chinese parade). I had one of the most delicious Guinness pints in my life, along with a warming veggie shepherd's pie. After dinner, we walked back to the room and all collapsed to sleep by 10ish. I was tempted to go back out and run amuck, as the streets were still full of people, especially CNY parade treasure hunters, but the room was just too warm so I contented myself just listening to the sirens and watching the traffic lights play across the ceiling.

Sunday, was, of course, absolutely gorgeous. Sunny, clear and crisp, w/the streets powerwashed down by the pressure rain/wind hose of last night's storm. T and I ventured back into Chinatown to enjoy the fair for a few hours. In the center, at a stage on break, there was reggae playing and I was delighted. After wandering thru a ton of shops and booths, I bought T a new nightlight, which she adores (and now I've promised to build a little shelf so it's near to hear in her bunk bed). We had lunch w/S's S.F. cousin back at Enjoy Vegetarian (btw, did you know Mike Tyson went vegan?), then check out and off to Dublin (not Ireland, but the end of BART) for T's gymno meet. She did well on beam, but then got robbed on floor and that crushed her enthusiasm. It's so tough to watch that from the stands as a parent. All her friends have qualified for the next level but her, so she's really feeling the pressure with only a few more meets to go. But after the meet, we finally got home again and she consoled herself watching season 2 of Avatar the Airbender, which I got her as a valentine's present (she got me a Harry Potter Slytherin scarf, which I'm wearing right now). Thus our long strange trip, the valentine's/wifeb-day hot springs to chinatown cold plunge, ended.
Aren't you glad you don't live in Ohio? Well, I'm glad you don't. I'm glad I don't. I'm glad none of us do.
I'm guessing that's where John S. ended up...
Labor Day 2018 was spent in SF.  I was really looking forward to it, not just for the amazing breakfast date with Laurie Anderson, but just to spend a day in SF with no obligations - a day to just hang out and revisit old haunts.

It started in Japantown because Laurie was staying at the Kabuki.  We had breakfast there.  Her driver/runner joined us for a bit.  It was a continental self-serve and it cost over $90.  Then I hung out in Japantown for a while, but that wore thin because I've been there recently and know it pretty well. Not much has changed. Only the origami store struck me as fresh because I usually don't leave Kinokiniya but I'm not really into origami.  I thought about seeing a movie but nothing started until 3ish and a Mission burrito beckoned.

I hit the Mission (the show was at the Chapel on Valencia).  It's weird to go there now that Brendan Lai's is closed (a longstanding Kung Fu supplier that closed after Lai Sifu passed years ago).  The contrast between Mission and Valencia was sharper than ever.  Mission & 16 is so fucked up.  I couldn't even hang - the reek of piss was too strong and the homeless schizos were too agro.  Valencia is so trendy and hip.  I was amused to see a trend to backpacks of the same size and shape as the new Eagle Creek pack I just got for Europe.  There were a couple of super cool SF brands that looked street tough, but they were like 3x the price.  The Mission book crawl is a thing of the past.  There's just Dog-Eared & Borderlands - two exceptional stores mind you but not my genres.  There were several cool shops and restaurants (particularly liked that skull/taxidermy place) but I found myself offended at how dirty SF has become, and longed for Europe.  I stumbled on a performance of the SF Mime Troupe at Dolores park.  I was delighted to see that proud tradition still extant but quickly bored by the performance and it's hackneyed political rants.  

But I did get a great burrito.  Alas...the Mission.
Yup, the Mission is now a Thing That Has Passed. It was killed and eaten by the Marina, then shat out in its own yard.

A friend and longtime Mission maven said “you know, San Francisco hasn’t changed all that much, except for the Mission. I don’t like the Mission any more.” He is moving his store to Haight Street. SInce moving out to the Richmond, I am once again loving The City. The Fog Belt has kept it real.
Market street has also gotten so filthy, but not as bad as the Mission, which reeks of piss and crap.  I looked for the store front that used to be Brendan Lai's but couldn't quite figure out which one it was.  And I thought about walking past Halberstadt but then I thought 'what's the point in that?'  

Valencia street is still hip and trendy but now too pricey for me to afford anything there really.  Except for burritos.  I can still afford that, even splurge on some extras.  At least the burritos are still good.
We went up there for a wedding recently on a Friday and both said pretty much the same thing. Most of the SF I used to enjoy just isn't there anymore, and I can't afford the replacement.
Quote:
[Image: factsdontmatter3.png]
SAN FRANCISCO POLICE INTERRUPTS SEX PARTY INVOLVING MIDGETS, EMUS AND A FOUNTAIN OF SPERM, 71 ARRESTS

[Image: partyarrest.jpg]

The San Francisco Police Department (SFPD) interrupted an extremely lewd party early this morning in a luxurious residence of the Presidio Heights neighborhood, arresting 71 people and seizing two boars and eight emus.
According to SFPD spokesman, Lieutenant Doug Haroldson, officers were dispatched on the site around 4 AM this morning after some neighbors complained about loud music and “wild animals running on their yard”.
Lt Haroldson says the first policemen who arrived described the scene as “a mix between an orgy and a circus freak show” and immediately called for backup.

Quote:[i]“It seems it was a thematic sex party for people with strange fetishes. They had midgets, bearded women, wild animals and a large outdoor fountain filled with 50 gallons of semen.”[/i]
Dozens of SFPD officers were called on the site to put an end and to the party and regain control of the total of over 500 guests and catch the wild animals.
Quote:[i]“It was an extremely delicate operation. Hundreds of naked people trying to flee with emus and boars with ball gags in their mouths running around. It was a very chaotic scene.”[/i]
[Image: partyemu.jpg]Agents of the San Francisco Animal Care & Control were called on the site to examine and seize the emus and boars, which apparently belonged to one of the guests.
It took hours for the police to sort things outs and identify everyone, and a total of 71 people were arrested on various charges.
31 of those arrests are minors simply charged with underage drinking, but some accusees face more serious accusations.
17 people are accused of bestiality and animal cruelty after the police found a video showing them having sex with the animals and all face up to 15 years in jail.
According to the SFPD, dozens of other guests could possibly be accused over the next few days.

Bad timing, PPFY. I don't have the scrilla to post bail for you right now. Sorry bro, you'll just have to tough it out in the joint.
World News sounds likes a very reputable source for information.
What gave it away? The subhead "Where facts don't matter" maybe? 

We all know how hard it is to keep a pint of semen viscous, much less 50 gallons. Nevertheless, the emus made me think of PPFY. Don't ask why. We worked on Folsom street together for many years...
Whew! Sorry I'm late, guys, but the cops had me in a holding cell for a while. Funny story about that, but I'll go into it later. So, did I miss anything?
Did you find your emu?
[Image: AppropriateUnequaledGlowworm-size_restricted.gif]
Dude, I'm into *Emo* chicks, not *Emu* chicks.
Interesting. I'm going to say your current SO would be the opposite of an emo chick.
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